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Headphones. Get a set of headphones. It doesn't matter if you're playing anything on them or not. Just wear them and then it's clear that you've got the Do Not Disturb sign out.
I'm actually a pretty social guy and don't mind the co-worker banter 90% of the time, but the woman that sits next to me is the loudest and most obnoxious person on the planet and she complains about literally anything and everything to anyone that will listen. I literally couldn't get any work done if I didn't have good, in-canal (which makes them ear PLUGS that play music), headphones. I have trained my other coworkers to wave at me if they need something because I won't hear them. They know why too and we all just sorta put up with it because it is what it is. Either way, I'm rarely disturbed while they're on. Some coworkers even prefer to just email me from across the room and it's just easier for everyone that way. Works for me!
Anyhow, I'm not anti-social and I do generally enjoy most of my coworkers bantering, and I agree with the posters here that say that it's important to foster those relationships, but my earphones keep me out of all of it unless I want it. I also confess that my job is very much a one man show outside of collaborative meetings so I can further direct my efforts (or have my efforts directed) so it's pretty easy for me to do this. If your job is to answer the phone, you're up the creek. I NEVER answer my phone, mostly because I don't even know it rang...
As for this being expected by managers...yeah, it is. Because no one wants the anti-social, sits in a corner growling, employee. If your coworkers can't approach you about your weekend, how will they ever approach you for help or to ask you questions or to see if you can correct an error?
Exactly. If you can't find a smidgen of basic civility for humans you only have a passing neutral relationship with, that will come back to bite you eventually. Even if you claim you don't care about advancement, promotion, or opportunities while under your management's eye, if you dismiss your coworkers and cut them no slack at all, when YOU need something from them they won't show up. You will be on your own....can't count on anyone to care about you or your projects when you need them to. When that happens guess what? The complaint will be that no one cares about anyone else anymore. They are all selfish jerks. It is not going to kill anyone to tolerate a bit of office society. Never has, never will.
Whenever they start talking to me about whatever (non-work related most of the time), I am polite so I will respond and play along with their inane banter while I am working. Sometimes it is hard though, and I just kind of laugh quietly to give some sort of half-hearted response.
How do I pretend to care about these people and what they are saying? I have a hard time, but I know it is expected that you interact with your coworkers so you won't be branded "not a team player" by management.
I feel sorry for you, it must be really tough to wake up every day and go to a job where you do not interface and enjoy the company of people you see day in, day out. Kinda like prison.
Where I work, we all get along very well. We kid each other, share in each others good and bad times, and genuinely like and respect each other. I actually look forward to saying good morning to all of them.
It sounds like you might have issues getting along with others, and you might want to work on that and actually try being more friendly with those around you. Life if too short to be miserable all day long.
Whenever they start talking to me about whatever (non-work related most of the time), I am polite so I will respond and play along with their inane banter while I am working. Sometimes it is hard though, and I just kind of laugh quietly to give some sort of half-hearted response.
How do I pretend to care about these people and what they are saying? I have a hard time, but I know it is expected that you interact with your coworkers so you won't be branded "not a team player" by management.
I know how you feel. While I always really did are, it can be so interruptive when you are trying to concentrate.
Most people take offense if you blatantly say....Sorry....I really need to concentrate. But....if you could think of a mantra....like. Love to hear about it, but I'm in the weeds....like they say on a cooking show.....perhaps that would be a good non hurtful deterrent to being hammered by ongoing inane chatter.
Or, perhaps stop any response....and look up with a vacant look and say....Sorry, what did you say. Then, the next time you are on break, ask them to tell you what they had attempted to tell you earlier when you were concentrating on working. I think that should diffuse you looking uncaring, and suggest in the most tactful way that to you work takes precedent over gossip.
Your occasional laughter is probably encouraging them to keep talking.
I have almost replied to this about 1,000 times and keep stopping myself as my reply, well, there really isn't a nice way to put it.
You don't pretend. You need to figure out a way to ACTUALLY care about these people. You don't have to like all of them as friends, nor do you have to see them on weekends, after work, or for any social events. You do have to like them as coworkers.
But, you spend 40 hours a week with these people. You should be able to find SOMETHING to care about. If you can't? Well, the problem is you. Their banter isn't inane...as long as it isn't every day for hours...it's them being human and treating you as a human they encounter. It's fine for you to chat for a couple of minutes and then excuse yourself to go back to work...but to be unwilling to even have anything to do with them...is, well, a little odd. People chat with others in line at the grocery store, it's common. People chat with coworkers. It's a pretty common thing.
They are fellow human beings. You should be able to care about them, at least enough to be politely interested, for that reason alone. As for this being expected by managers...yeah, it is. Because no one wants the anti-social, sits in a corner growling, employee. If your coworkers can't approach you about your weekend, how will they ever approach you for help or to ask you questions or to see if you can correct an error?
Whenever someone says something like this, the red flags appear...that there is an issue with the person saying they can't manage to be nice.
Your comment is just being used by me as an example, not to personally insult you.......But, there are many folks that I see who post similar things when a struggling worker asks how to deal with being constantly interrupted at work by non-productive chattering co-workers.
The OP is talking about trying to concentrate while working. I do not automatically interpret that as anti-social. There is a time and a place for this type banter.
What if the OP is building your new car.....or was your heart doctor.
There has to be a realistic acknowledgment that this issue can be a real problem.....and not an antisocial reaction to normal co-worker interactions. It is not normal to chatter incessantly and interrupt co-workers.
Because no one wants the anti-social, sits in a corner growling, employee. ...
Whenever someone says something like this, the red flags appear...that there is an issue with the person saying they can't manage to be nice.
How do you make the leap not wanted to be interrupted at work to "anti-social, sits in a corner growling, employee" and "can't manage to be nice." Where, in anything that was said, does this even appear?
[quote=JanND;51749002]Your comment is just being used by me as an example, not to personally insult you.......But, there are many folks that I see who post similar things when a struggling worker asks how to deal with being constantly interrupted at work by non-productive chattering co-workers.
The OP is talking about trying to concentrate while working. I do not automatically interpret that as anti-social. There is a time and a place for this type banter.
What if the OP is building your new car.....or was your heart doctor.
There has to be a realistic acknowledgment that this issue can be a real problem.....and not an antisocial reaction to normal co-worker interactions. It is not normal to chatter incessantly and interrupt co-workers.[/quote]
Agree. For some reason, there seem to be a lot of folks who get offended that others have to concentrate on work rather than spend the day socializing with them. There's a time and place for socializing and when you're doing head down work is not one of them.
Be cordial and gracious - just smile, nod and listen.
Not having children, at times it became unbearable listening to the moms going on and on about their babies (BM's, diaper rash, formula; or if their child did something that to them was the cutest thing in the world). Or the passing around of scads of their children's photographs. I knew they were proud of their kids, so I just went along to get along.
You don't have to like or 'care about' the people you work with, but you should maintain a productive working relationship depending on how your roles intersect. Be polite and kind. Often, that will morph in to a change of heart and you'll find out they are not so bad, and probably just want to talk about something OTHER than work
Where I work, people would put up a string with a sign on it (across the entrance to the cube) indicating 'they are trying to work' and don't have time to chat. As you can imagine, once management got wind of that nonsense, those stopped.
Maybe you could try, at a staff meeting, to bring up any concerning scenarios (without using names) of too much chit chat and not enough work. Or get a supervisor to do it.
Whenever they start talking to me about whatever (non-work related most of the time), I am polite so I will respond and play along with their inane banter while I am working. Sometimes it is hard though, and I just kind of laugh quietly to give some sort of half-hearted response.
How do I pretend to care about these people and what they are saying? I have a hard time, but I know it is expected that you interact with your coworkers so you won't be branded "not a team player" by management.
Well when it comes to men non-work related conversation is usually sports but anything other than that I have no interest. I don't want to hear about anyone's wife or kids or family life so I will make that clear with body language.
You’ve apparently chosen this job (or at least haven ‘t chosen to leave it).
Either way, these are the people you likely spend most of your waking hours with. You owe it to yourself to find something rewarding in this environment or find a more suitable one.
Try to find one or two people you share something in common with. No need to be best friends with everyone/anyone at work, but it sure is nice to have people to bounce ideas off of, that you actually connect with.
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