Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Would you prefer wailing and gnashing of teeth or spend a little time being social with coworkers? It's a reality of how people are genetically made up. It's in our DNA to be suspicious of outsiders as a survival mechanism. It's easier when you have the team behind you because they trust you'll have their back when they need it.
Personally, I love our staff potlucks (which we have quite often). Given how diverse our staff members are, it's like a smorgasbord of ethnic cuisines! Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Jewish, German, you name it... and since at least half of us are vegan or vegetarian, partly due to the number of Hindus & Buddhists, it's mostly "safe" for the non-meat-eaters. I do eat poultry, for the record, but very sparingly.
So I don't really get why anyone wouldn't want to participate, but to each their own. Are you more put-off by having to bring something yourself, or just don't want to socialize and/or eat what the others bring? I'm not much of a cook, so if I have to provide a dish too, I'll either buy something pre-made or make a simple dessert like Rice Krispie treats.
They'll pressure OP to eat something, and someone will probably act offended if he doesn't eat something that somebody wants him to eat.
I've literally never seen anyone get offended, or even really notice, if someone isn't eating a particular dish. But we're a tight-knit group, so most of us know each other's general eating habits and preferences... so, for example, nobody is going to wonder why a Hindu worker isn't eating the meatballs. One of my co-workers will save a plate of her "famous salad" for me if I'm absent or late, however, since she knows I really love it.
I love these office potlucks and usually where I’ve worked the food is pretty good. Gives everyone a chance to mingle a bit, but I know some hate them. Either way it’s an office political thing. If you never attend or make excuses you’re considered an office weirdo or Debbie Downer . If something doesn’t look good don’t eat it. Grab a salad or something at the store, throw it in a bowl and doctor it up with some parsley and bring it. Stay 20 minutes and walk around with a drink or plate and then leave.
I love these office potlucks and usually where I’ve worked the food is pretty good. Gives everyone a chance to mingle a bit, but I know some hate them. Either way it’s an office political thing. If you never attend or make excuses you’re considered an office weirdo or Debbie Downer . If something doesn’t look good don’t eat it. Grab a salad or something at the store, throw it in a bowl and doctor it up with some parsley and bring it. Stay 20 minutes and walk around with a drink or plate and then leave.
This is it.
Be thankful it is a lunch hour get-together, rather than an after work hours one.
It's a marker for collegiality, much like Friday Happy Hours used tone (may still be, I've been out of industry for decades).
Like it or not, when the time comes for promotions participation in these types of events will be taken into consideration.
Very true. Not attending can cost you big time. One time after a big presentation to the company president at a different facility, the plant manager(my big boss) decided to treat all of the category leaders to lunch before returning to work. I decided to go someplace else by myself to try out a place I had heard a lot of good things about. I have no doubt whatsoever that my failure to go along with them attributed to me being reassigned within a few months.
They'll pressure OP to eat something, and someone will probably act offended if he doesn't eat something that somebody wants him to eat.
Who is they? Can't say I have ever been pressured to eat the food offered at a workplace potluck. At most, someone might make a mental note that I walked in the door. Look, if you spend any time with an employer and you are somewhat perceptive you'll soon learn what that particular culture considers acceptable behavior. Whether you blow off every single event, show up a all of them, or show up at a selection of them. It will matter more at some places and not so much at others. Some places feel they have to be totally inclusive and celebrate every employee's kid's achievements and others don't. Doesn't make them evil, just makes them imperfectly human.
The point is, you use your smarts to figure out how to stay on the plus side at that particular place. That's what's important....learning the skill. There will always be the political plotters, the social calendar ledger keepers who carefully record each faux pas everyone commits, but they will be in the minority. If there are some, learn to drop off their radar by participating once in a while. The majority of your co-workers have the same concerns you do. To get work done, to not be mired in endless social clutter, to not **** anyone off, to not snub someone important. It is a balancing act taken in little steps from day to day. You can choose to reject all of it and suffer the consequences or you can accept it as reality, bend that spine just a tiny bit, and maybe it will provide you the benefit of the doubt someday.
Well, all that time we spend is part of my point. It is time spent on a professional level. Spending a couple hrs a year on a personal level is valuable. It is about relationship building and can improve the work environment, which leads to better productivity and happier employees.
There's nothing stopping you from getting personal at any other time. Just don't say anything that can be used against you!
Would you prefer wailing and gnashing of teeth or spend a little time being social with coworkers?
Nobody said anything about not being social with co workers. What are you doing 40+ hours per week? Your life outside of work is that empty that you have to force others to hang out with you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
It's a reality of how people are genetically made up. It's in our DNA to be suspicious of outsiders as a survival mechanism.
All people, some people, or most people?
Not everyone is the same. What don't some of you get about that? If I were in charge of a group, I'd respect individual differences. If someone isn't into this kind of thing, so what? We're all expected be accepting of overweight people, transgenders, etc. Why not give introverted people the same respect?
Who is they? Can't say I have ever been pressured to eat the food offered at a workplace potluck.
Consider yourself fortunate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
At most, someone might make a mental note that I walked in the door. Look, if you spend any time with an employer and you are somewhat perceptive you'll soon learn what that particular culture considers acceptable behavior. Whether you blow off every single event, show up a all of them, or show up at a selection of them. It will matter more at some places and not so much at others. Some places feel they have to be totally inclusive and celebrate every employee's kid's achievements and others don't. Doesn't make them evil, just makes them imperfectly human.
But some people (the ones who don't care much for participating) are more imperfectly human than others, right?
[quote=Parnassia;53941092]The point is, you use your smarts to figure out how to stay on the plus side at that particular place. That's what's important....learning the skill. There will always be the political plotters, the social calendar ledger keepers who carefully record each faux pas everyone commits, but they will be in the minority. If there are some, learn to drop off their radar by participating once in a while. The majority of your co-workers have the same concerns you do. To get work done, to not be mired in endless social clutter, to not **** anyone off, to not snub someone important. It is a balancing act taken in little steps from day to day.
I know, I've been around the block a few times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
You can choose to reject all of it and suffer the consequences or you can accept it as reality, bend that spine just a tiny bit, and maybe it will provide you the benefit of the doubt someday.
That's assuming one has a spine. It's not very common these days.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
