U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-19-2019, 05:52 PM
 
102 posts, read 94,946 times
Reputation: 72

Advertisements

I typically get this label by co-workers but always get good reviews from supervisors. I come to work a little bit early, maybe by about 5 minutes. Sit down, do my job, speak to my co-workers and engage them but AVOID office politics, gossiping, and other things that bother me. I don't mind talking to anyone in the office but don't divulge my personal life. I pretty much but in my 8 hours and leave. I am not looking for a promotion, but I wonder what makes a person unapproachable in the workplace. In my previous evaluations, my bosses have described me as self motivated and have a quiet confidence. Yes, I am an introvert but I am nice to people just don't engage in non-constructive behavior. I am fairly new to this department and I have a coworker who has been here for 7 yrs. All he does is complain about the other departments short comings which are very evident. I suspect that there are some internal politics at play because this other departments shortcomings have not ever been rectified leading to us having to do more work. Basically I could sit around and complain all day but the boss does not actively try to resolve this so I see this as being non constructive and a huge waste of time.

Has anyone here ever been giving this title?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-19-2019, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Indianapolis, East Side
1,164 posts, read 575,124 times
Reputation: 2947
I have. In the age of metoo and lots of press about workplace harassment and bullying and emphasis on efficiency and productivity, I'm surprised any supervisor is bothered by employees who mind their own business and go about their work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-19-2019, 06:24 PM
 
2,052 posts, read 594,159 times
Reputation: 2905
Let them keep thinking that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 02:06 AM
 
Location: on the wind
7,072 posts, read 2,899,892 times
Reputation: 23934
Nope; even though most of my coworkers would also describe me as fairly introverted and an independently-focused worker. There's a lot of ground between "unapproachable" and being the office gossip/social gadfly. A perception exists even though you don't feel it is justified. If it isn't coming from just one source, there is something to it. If I knew I was getting this label I'd start wanting to figure out why. Are there friendlier allies you could ask about it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 03:43 AM
 
2,052 posts, read 594,159 times
Reputation: 2905
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
If it isn't coming from just one source, there is something to it.
Or it's possible its simply an office full of idiots.

Birds of a feather...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 05:29 AM
 
700 posts, read 1,672,404 times
Reputation: 1066
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl87 View Post
I typically get this label by co-workers but always get good reviews from supervisors. I come to work a little bit early, maybe by about 5 minutes. Sit down, do my job, speak to my co-workers and engage them but AVOID office politics, gossiping, and other things that bother me. I don't mind talking to anyone in the office but don't divulge my personal life. I pretty much but in my 8 hours and leave. I am not looking for a promotion, but I wonder what makes a person unapproachable in the workplace. In my previous evaluations, my bosses have described me as self motivated and have a quiet confidence. Yes, I am an introvert but I am nice to people just don't engage in non-constructive behavior. Has anyone here ever been giving this title?
Yes, absolutely. Ditto all that. Come in early, sit down, organize myself, preview the day and set up the to-do list. Clean up the nasty mess in the kitchen so I could make myself a clean cup of coffee. All in quiet and solitude without presenting my grand entrance like I hit the red carpet, hollering to everyone I passed along the way to the kitchen, stopping at every cube to glad-hand the people who needed that daily petting and acknowledgment...

I chatted but avoided politics and gossip. I talked about the weekend but not in detail. I talked about football with males, makeup with females...it's never enough because you're not giving them enough to stockpile as ammunition to understand you, pin you down, make judgments. That bothers people, A LOT.

Mindless yammering and social interaction: all fine and dandy if you were a male coworker. Do that as a female - I had a fellow admin that dawdled like this and was the social bee, buzzing around every exec male - and it was "Oh Karen's not at her desk AGAIN, she must be out talking." Fact is plain and simple - there was no satisfaction or happy medium to be had by the individual who determined you were the target du jour.

Best part was, it was *always* followed with:

"...you represent [insert manager here] as his admin so you should always be warm and smiling"
"...so you should probably smile more, it brightens your face"
"...you have such a pretty face/ smile, use it!"
"...tell people more about yourself, that would break the ice!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 07:42 AM
 
684 posts, read 248,421 times
Reputation: 1810
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl87 View Post
I typically get this label by co-workers but always get good reviews from supervisors. I come to work a little bit early, maybe by about 5 minutes. Sit down, do my job, speak to my co-workers and engage them but AVOID office politics, gossiping, and other things that bother me. I don't mind talking to anyone in the office but don't divulge my personal life. I pretty much but in my 8 hours and leave. I am not looking for a promotion, but I wonder what makes a person unapproachable in the workplace. In my previous evaluations, my bosses have described me as self motivated and have a quiet confidence. Yes, I am an introvert but I am nice to people just don't engage in non-constructive behavior. I am fairly new to this department and I have a coworker who has been here for 7 yrs. All he does is complain about the other departments short comings which are very evident. I suspect that there are some internal politics at play because this other departments shortcomings have not ever been rectified leading to us having to do more work. Basically I could sit around and complain all day but the boss does not actively try to resolve this so I see this as being non constructive and a huge waste of time.

Has anyone here ever been giving this title?
I'm glad you started this thread.

"ME TOO". Lol. Just kidding.

I don't know if some people say that I'm unapproachable. If they did or do behind my back, I don't care. I don't care what anyone thinks or says about me, honestly.

I know that I'm reasonably nice and professional to everyone. I say Hi, Good morning, How are you? Ö basic civilization words. I dislike engaging into personal life talks at work. I feel that is a waste or stealing time. If someone spends too much time to go around to talk and talk and talk so much about this and that not related to work, how can s/he do her/his job right and well. Don't tell me that someone can do her/his job faster and better in less time than somebody else, that's why s/he has so much free time. I don't believe it.

If someone finishes her job fast and has so much free time to go around to gossip, she is very annoying, disturbing and distracting others. Her supervisor/manager should have to have a close look at that person and check on her work to see if she has done her work sufficiently or accurately. When she has so much free time, the supervisor/manager needs to give her more work to do or asks her to help others instead of to go around and gossip.

If someone who has the same workload with someone else, and one finishes fast with good quality, and the other cannot finish at about the same time and quality, then the manager needs to check on that slow one and help him/her to improve.

At my workplace, I witnessed these two co-workers who had about the same workload. One is a social butterfly and used to spend a lot, a lot of time to go around to talk and talk and talk about non-work related, and she used to stay 1 to 2 hours after her working time and told everyone she worked over-time a lot. Lots of people knew that was not true. And her work was like a mess. But she was good at sweet talking to the manager and made that manager felt good; therefore, she was that managerís pet. That manager always favored this butterfly. And about the other one, she was quiet, organized, working hard. And her work was very good. Many other co-workers and people in the management knew that. But her direct manager (the same one for the other one also) disliked her because she did not care to go to the managerís office to mingle and flatter that manager. This worker got punished by having more heavy labor work. Lots of things happened very wrong to many employees at that time. It was a long story. This employee stood up for herself and reported the incidents to the higher-up. Later, things got better somewhat.

Anyway, my point is when I come to work, I want to focus on my work and do my work well and productive for the company. I donít like to talk or listen to others talking about their personal life or problems or about other people. I loathe it. I feel accomplished and proud when I do a good job.

The whining, gossiping, social butterflies really drain me out. I try to stay away from them as much as I can.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Mars City
5,091 posts, read 2,136,536 times
Reputation: 7505
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl87 View Post
I typically get this label by co-workers but always get good reviews from supervisors. I come to work a little bit early, maybe by about 5 minutes. Sit down, do my job, speak to my co-workers and engage them but AVOID office politics, gossiping, and other things that bother me. I don't mind talking to anyone in the office but don't divulge my personal life. I pretty much but in my 8 hours and leave.

Has anyone here ever been giving this title?
I've never encountered that label used in the workplace, towards me or anyone else.

That's supremely wise and respectable not discussing politics and gossip in the workplace. But...

...not discussing questions relating to personal life is questionable and even odd. Discussing basic personal details is accepted as something to talk about and share. People want to know a little about others, partly to understand the person better, and partly to stimulate conversation (even healthy conversation).

Maybe you've got too far in one direction - avoiding "unnecessary" talk - to avoiding even basic and healthy conversation. It's easy to see how that would be perceived as too clammed up and secretive. [I'm an introvert too, by the way, so I'm not talking as though a social busybody] It's your right and freedom of course to continue as you have, but I'd understand unease on other's part, even to the point of throwing out the "unapproachable" label. It might also come across as a lack of trust; that your coworkers can't even be trusted with such basic information.

Ease up a little with your motivations and goals, and try to see it from their view. Flexibility is important in any workplace. Rigidness tends to stick out and cause issues. I'm sure they already "get it" that you want to limit what you discuss, and have strong feelings there. Now it's time for you to reciprocate and make adjustments on your end. If you fully do that and give it a try, and they still seem unreasonable, then you'll know it's really them and not partly you.

Last edited by Thoreau424; 03-20-2019 at 09:41 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 09:57 AM
 
700 posts, read 1,672,404 times
Reputation: 1066
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau424 View Post
I've never encountered that label used in the workplace, towards me or anyone else.

That's supremely wise and respectable not discussing politics and gossip in the workplace. But...

Ease up a little with your motivations and goals, and try to see it from their view. Flexibility is important in any workplace. Rigidness tends to stick out and cause issues. I'm sure they already "get it" that you want to limit what you discuss, and have strong feelings there. Now it's time for you to reciprocate and make adjustments on your end.

Agree with this.

Unapproachable also can mean, "I'm scared of you/ your level of confidence so I'm going to put that on you."

However.

Cultivate a work persona. I don't give a rat's red arse about any of these folks I worked with...think they knew it? Nope. Talked about this one's daughter's girl scout activities and that one's moves around the country and how they got to the job they're in now and this one's recipes for spaghetti sauce...redirected the conversation and they never knew anything about me. It becomes easier once you pick up on the threads of what people like and then let them ramble on about themselves.

And how do I know I was successful? On the rare instance I did let someone know something personal (-ish, I'm not nuts ) they always said something to the effect, "WOW I didn't know that about you!"

Mission accomplished
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2019, 10:20 AM
 
3,753 posts, read 2,119,516 times
Reputation: 10240
I wish. Then I could just breeze along with all the other worthless management that sits at home and is never held accountable for anything
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top