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Old 04-04-2019, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,746 posts, read 1,282,820 times
Reputation: 2986

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbjen View Post
Two times I have been honest about the reasons I left.

First time, I kept getting passed up for opportunities because I was female. HR offered a title change to get me to stay but I already had a better offer lined up and it was too little too late.

Second time, a manager left and they brought someone in before even allowing us to apply for the position and it irked me. I told them that was why I was leaving as I went to a new, better job. Six months later he resigned and they offered the job to me the same day and I took it.

Whether or not you should do it - it depends what your end goal is. Do you just want to get back at her? Do you want her job? Would you stay if she was gone? She got to where she is somehow, so obviously someone thinks she’s good at her job.

Most employers contact HR at a prospective employee’s prior company for the reference, not higher ranking managers overseas. So you have to weigh up whether you want to risk being labeled a difficult employee, vs going out with praise from everyone else but her on your side. If your new job is going to be a good fit and you’re happy about it, maybe just move on and let it go.
The way she was promoted to manager actually had everyone shocked.

They demoted our pregnant manager (who had been bullied by them) to get this girl promoted. The reason why she got promoted is because aside from the other managers on the floor, all the other employees had less than 1/2 years experience and were mostly new comers. Thus, she didn't have any serious competition.

Honestly, demoting a pregnant manager and bullying her to the point where she had to go on sick leave 3 months before her actual maternity leave was due to start is rather low. They never even told us she was gone. One day, she just didn't show up and we found out later she'd been on sick leave due to undue stress from her management.

Please allow me to doubt my manager's skills. Whenever I get to travel to other offices (which she doesn't), the way other people speak about her says a lot and it's not in a positive light. I'm not the only one who has this opinion of her.

Actually, the day my manager got promoted, her manager asked me to drop by for a quick meeting. This is a meeting he didn't have with any other of her other prospective reports. During this meeting, he told me he's aware she lacks people skills and asked her to adapt to other people's personalities. He said I need to give her time (at that stage, I had only been in the company for 6 months and didn't know her much) because she can come across a certain way, but they're training her up. He said that in case something went wrong, I could talk to him or raise any potential issue with him.

The fact that her own manager chose to have this meeting with me to discuss his own report shows he saw there was something her from her side towards me. At the time, I was knew in the company and had never really interacted with her. It just said a lot.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbjen View Post
Most employers contact HR at a prospective employee’s prior company for the reference, not higher ranking managers overseas. So you have to weigh up whether you want to risk being labeled a difficult employee, vs going out with praise from everyone else but her on your side. If your new job is going to be a good fit and you’re happy about it, maybe just move on and let it go.
I spoke to HR and to a couple of other former employees ... HR is not allowed to confirm your employment (dates, job title etc ..) at the company to other organizations. I have this black and white in an email & former employees also advised me of this. The only way to get a reference is to get one from the people I actually worked with.

This company puts you through a 2 months detailed background check, but is unable to assist with the same on your way out.

My prospective employer also specifically requested a referee to be contacted directly along with their title, phone and details. They didn't request the HR contacts which don't give out references at all and can be easily found on the company's website.


I may not throw her specifically under the bus, but I will give an abstract answer that will translate that the environment is toxic without having to specifically refer to her. I have better things to worry about at this stage and this involves washing my hands off of this office.

Last edited by LostinPhilly; 04-04-2019 at 11:21 AM..
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Old 04-04-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,746 posts, read 1,282,820 times
Reputation: 2986
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLSFan View Post
You would have taken this up with their legal department if she was really bullying you... You saying she was a bully doesn't make her one in anyone's eyes but your own
The legal department doesn't get involved in this.

It's HR and it's written in the employee handbook.
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:43 PM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,574 posts, read 4,442,197 times
Reputation: 11226
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post

I spoke to HR and to a couple of other former employees ... HR is not allowed to confirm your employment (dates, job title etc ..) at the company to other organizations. I have this black and white in an email & former employees also advised me of this. The only way to get a reference is to get one from the people I actually worked with
What HR is or is not "officially" allowed to do is one thing. What people (including HR staff, managers of various companies who happen to be friends/acquaintances of each other, etc) discuss over drinks or when they're out socializing with each other, is an entirely different thing. People do have connections. People do talk. You have been warned repeatedly to say nothing negative whatsoever at this exit interview. We are speaking from years of experience collectively. You asked our advice. We have given it. You really should think long and hard as to why you are ignoring the vast majority here.
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Old 04-04-2019, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Full time in the RV
2,869 posts, read 6,409,975 times
Reputation: 2432
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post

Actually, the day my manager got promoted, her manager asked me to drop by for a quick meeting. This is a meeting he didn't have with any other of her other prospective reports. During this meeting, he told me he's aware she lacks people skills and asked her to adapt to other people's personalities. He said I need to give her time (at that stage, I had only been in the company for 6 months and didn't know her much) because she can come across a certain way, but they're training her up. He said that in case something went wrong, I could talk to him or raise any potential issue with him.

The fact that her own manager chose to have this meeting with me to discuss his own report shows he saw there was something her from her side towards me. At the time, I was knew in the company and had never really interacted with her. It just said a lot.

Agreed..this says a lot. Now, 2 1/2 years later things have only gotten worse and her boss knew from the start she was difficult. Why haven't they acted in 2 1/2 years? What do you think will happen? No upside for you.

You seem to want to get one final jab on your way out the door.

I'll echo the others. Say nothing and move forward.
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