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Old 04-02-2019, 11:58 AM
 
4,069 posts, read 5,472,026 times
Reputation: 4920

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
But how about people spin the scenario around for a second ... she's the one burning bridges with her behavior.

We're all looking at the scenario as if I'm going to stay at the same level forever, thus will always have a lower position than hers.

What if we wind up indeed working together again and I end up in a higher position than hers?

After all, she only has 2 years management experience is around my age. I could easily progress faster than she does, in which case, I won't forget what she did to me for sure.

My new position gives me the same title she currently has, so no looking back there.
I don't see how you will move up faster. You have little control over your emotions and understanding of the politics needed to move up. You are guided by your heart not by your head.

Management is about relationships and emotional control not just skills and knowledge.

You will anger more managers and burn that rep in the industry before long. Your focus is getting back at somebody, not how to get promoted.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:04 PM
 
10,065 posts, read 4,671,845 times
Reputation: 15324
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
But how about people spin the scenario around for a second ... she's the one burning bridges with her behavior.
No, she burned ONE bridge, YOU... You want to burn down your reputation on your own with that company and any future companies that may contact this one, plus which ever companies that hire people from there.

All you do is snowball this out of your control. Maybe someone in HR sees you as a disgruntled employee, then they move to a different company, you apply there and they remember you were that one bad employee?

People move around/change jobs... Reputation follows. If she is bad at her job, let her actions speak for themselves.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,746 posts, read 1,282,820 times
Reputation: 2986
Quote:
Originally Posted by move4ward View Post
I don't see how you will move up faster. You have little control over your emotions and understanding of the politics needed to move up. You are guided by your heart not by your head.

Management is about relationships and emotional control not just skills and knowledge.

You will anger more managers and burn that rep in the industry before long. Your focus is getting back at somebody, not how to get promoted.
This is a post where I want to vent, hence it does make sense to have my emotions displayed on here.

It doesn't mean my professional persona is the same. Have some common sense.

Do you think that if I were ruled by my emotions, I wouldn't have reported her a long time ago? That I wouldn't have addressed this with her directly?

Clearly, I'm venting on here because I'm not doing it in my personal/professional environment.

- Do you cry at work or do you wait until you come home and cry?

- Do you yell at your boss or do you wait to come home and vent to your partner about them?

Same principle.

I wouldn't be posting on here if this were the case.

By the way, I know tons of emotional people (including her) that have climbed the ladder. If she wasn't emotional, she wouldn't be bullying me the way she has.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,746 posts, read 1,282,820 times
Reputation: 2986
Quote:
Originally Posted by qtbrye View Post
You asked if you should air dirty laundries about your ex-Manager at the HR exit interview. Everyone says no from the very start. The fact that you kept this thing going for 8 pages seems to indicate that you want to ignore that advice and trying to rationalize a made decision to air those laundries. It's kind of like talking to a know-it-all teenager or... *gasps!* a terrible co-worker... who pretends to ask for advice but is really trying to find someone to agree with their awful decision so that they can muster the courage to do it.

So no, I guess you didn't specifically say that you would but your replies seem to indicate otherwise. But hey, do whatever you want. Good luck.

OK, but I still did have not said I will address this with HR.

You're saying I'm forcing my opinion on this thread by not listening, but clearly those against me speaking up cannot seem to be understanding either.

On this note, I'll let this thread die on its own, because I forgot how bad it was on this forum. People always find a way to gang up against these anonymous posters.

Have a nice day/evening guys.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:27 PM
 
2,066 posts, read 869,124 times
Reputation: 5090
You are assuming you will be talking to someone who hasn't heard it all before and who gives a crap. Chances are you will only hurt yourself and won't hurt her at all. Management doesn't care about the company, the job or the employees. They only care about themselves. That is the corporate game. And everyone who rises in the executuve ranks plays it or they are not admitted to the club. She was admitted to the club and they will protect each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
The point is not to destroy her career, but to address the internal issues within this department.

I was bullied, so she put this on herself.

These 2 separate things.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:30 PM
 
10,065 posts, read 4,671,845 times
Reputation: 15324
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
By the way, I know tons of emotional people (including her) that have climbed the ladder. If she wasn't emotional, she wouldn't be bullying me the way she has.
You would have taken this up with their legal department if she was really bullying you... You saying she was a bully doesn't make her one in anyone's eyes but your own
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:45 PM
 
823 posts, read 215,906 times
Reputation: 1370
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
You are assuming you will be talking to someone who hasn't heard it all before and who gives a crap. Chances are you will only hurt yourself and won't hurt her at all. Management doesn't care about the company, the job or the employees. They only care about themselves. That is the corporate game. And everyone who rises in the executuve ranks plays it or they are not admitted to the club. She was admitted to the club and they will protect each other.


This is what you don't seem to understand. Whether you are right or not is often beside the point when talking "truth to power."

I had a colleague who thought she was doing the right thing by telling her boss's boss that she thought her supervisor had a drinking problem as he came back from lunch acting inebriated and she could smell alcohol. (I too had detected alcohol on his breadth on occasion). The boss's boss berated her for making such an accusation and if one of his managers had an alcohol problem he would have known it. She was very upset about the way she was treated and she too had a stellar work record. So this was a lesson learned.

Somebody put her into that position and it reflects upon them if criticism is leveled at her. She will be defended.

Last edited by Maddie104; 04-02-2019 at 12:53 PM..
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:53 PM
 
Location: DFW
557 posts, read 158,440 times
Reputation: 894
I validly went to HR twice, and I was the one burned for it.

By the 3rd time I wanted to go, I did not, as I had learned my lesson. On this one, which was REALLY bad, I knew the truth would come out as it always does, and that ship sank fast (insert smirk and happy dance here).

Rely on karma, not HR. They work for the same boss you would be talking about, so guess where their loyalty is?

HR is a joke

(apologies to any out there reading this who are in HR)
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:35 PM
 
780 posts, read 204,578 times
Reputation: 1134
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie104 View Post
[/b]

This is what you don't seem to understand. Whether you are right or not is often beside the point when talking "truth to power."

I had a colleague who thought she was doing the right thing by telling her boss's boss that she thought her supervisor had a drinking problem as he came back from lunch acting inebriated and she could smell alcohol. (I too had detected alcohol on his breadth on occasion). The boss's boss berated her for making such an accusation and if one of his managers had an alcohol problem he would have known it. She was very upset about the way she was treated and she too had a stellar work record. So this was a lesson learned.

Somebody put her into that position and it reflects upon them if criticism is leveled at her. She will be defended.
Just because you or someone you knew worked for pathetic individuals, poorly run organizations, and vengeful HR groups doesn't mean that everyone else needs to stop speaking up about unethical behavior and business practices. You think you're speaking wisdom to the masses, and I'm here just thinking about how ridiculous, sad, and pathetic it sounds that people like you are pushing the idea to keep your head buried in the sand and never take a stand for what's right. This is not wise or heroic, this is the promotion of cowardice plain and simple. If you want to be a submissive lap dog or corporate lackey, then I agree; do exactly what you're saying here. But if you have a spine and an upstanding ethos, then bloody speak up when someone is doing something wrong to you, to someone you know, to the community, or to the organization as a whole. I have spoken my full mind during exit interviews, good and bad, and not a single negative consequence has arisen as a result of this. And I have tons of other 2nd hand data points that support this as well.

Weak sauce! Imagine if we all hid in fear when the big, bad boogie man wreaked havoc and threatened to harm your reputation if you reported them for their malfeasance. I'm disgusted by some of the cowardly comments here. Americans used to stand up to bullies. Now they quiver at the sheer thought of saying something remotely critical about them in fear that their lives will be completely leveled as a result. Burning bridges? Even if they were so petty to blacklist you for criticizing something about the work environment, who the hell cares if you're burning a bridge to a toxic work environment and culture. There is a reason you're leaving such a place, and it's likely you'll never want to work at that place or with those toxic clowns again. What a crock of BS and lies!

Last edited by Sir Quotes A Lot; 04-02-2019 at 01:53 PM..
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:54 PM
 
823 posts, read 215,906 times
Reputation: 1370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Quotes A Lot View Post
Just because you or someone you knew worked for pathetic individuals, poorly run organizations, and vengeful HR groups doesn't mean that everyone else needs to stop speaking up about unethical behavior and business practices. You think you're speaking wisdom to the masses, and I'm here just thinking about how ridiculous, sad, and pathetic it sounds that people like you are pushing the idea to keep your head buried in the sand and never take a stand for what's right. This is not wise or heroic, this is the promotion of cowardice plain and simple. If you want to be a submissive lap dog or corporate lackey, then I agree; do exactly what you're saying here. But if you have a spine and an upstanding ethos, then bloody speak up when someone is doing something wrong to you, to someone you know, to the community, or to the organization as a whole.

Weak sauce! Imagine if we all hid in fear when the big, bad boogie man wreaked havoc and threatened to harm your reputation if you reported them for their malfeasance. I'm disgusted by some of the cowardly comments here. Americans used to stand up to bullies. Now they quiver at the sheer thought of saying something remotely critical about them in fear that their lives will be completely leveled as a result. What a crock of BS and lies!
Based on some 80 posts, it is not "just me or someone I knew". I am in agreement with the majority. If anyone wants to post about a positive experience they had in reporting improper management behavior, they are welcome to do so.

But I want to clarify I have worked for many fine organizations where employees are valued. As I stated before, they did not rely on exit interviews but used other tools to much better effect. So I know the difference.
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