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Old 04-11-2019, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,102 posts, read 54,597,263 times
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I find it's a good rule never to remark on someone's appearance. Not fat, not thin, not those people with eyes that look in different directions, not the guy with the big birthmark in the middle of his forehead, not the guy with the big bubbly growth on his lip, not the woman who has appeared to be pregnant for the last ten years, not the guy with his head entirely tattooed. Don't say a word.
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
12,184 posts, read 10,363,776 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I find it's a good rule never to remark on someone's appearance. Not fat, not thin, not those people with eyes that look in different directions, not the guy with the big birthmark in the middle of his forehead, not the guy with the big bubbly growth on his lip, not the woman who has appeared to be pregnant for the last ten years, not the guy with his head entirely tattooed. Don't say a word.
Yep, this is a good rule to live by. I only make positive comments about my wife's appearance. I never comment on anyone else's appearance, especially at work.
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:16 AM
 
7,137 posts, read 1,789,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I was going to ask if she was Latino. Often Spanish-speaking women I worked with whose families are from the islands would remark on someone gaining weight. They were not trying to be catty or offensive, just making an observation. My Cuban-American friend who struggles with weight says her cousins do that to her when she hasn't seen them in a while and she's put on a few pounds.

And there was a woman I worked with who was very pretty and proud of her looks and figure. When she came back from maternity leave, this Spanish chick saw her in the hall and said, "Oh welcome back and congratulations. Wow, you gained weight!" and went on her merry way. The look on the woman's face was priceless.



I know a lot of Latinos and I speak Spanish. They speak a lot more frankly in Spanish than is the norm today in English. Calling someone fat (gordo or gorda) is an acceptable description where now in American culture its avoided at all costs. I actually find the honesty in that refreshing. It is sad now that everyone is offended by even the slightest comment, a joke, a tweet or something said among acquaintances. We all have to walk on eggshells because god forbid someone takes something the wrong way and all heck breaks loose.
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Old 04-12-2019, 09:55 AM
 
8,083 posts, read 5,295,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I find it's a good rule never to remark on someone's appearance. Not fat, not thin, not those people with eyes that look in different directions, not the guy with the big birthmark in the middle of his forehead, not the guy with the big bubbly growth on his lip, not the woman who has appeared to be pregnant for the last ten years, not the guy with his head entirely tattooed. Don't say a word.
Unless you are about that life... If it goes to a fight you don't back down, no calling 911, no calling your lawyer, etc. But the majority of the people fall back on calling 911, threatening to sue, etc.
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:00 AM
 
4,079 posts, read 2,947,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Ryu View Post
Unless you are about that life... If it goes to a fight you don't back down, no calling 911, no calling your lawyer, etc. But the majority of the people fall back on calling 911, threatening to sue, etc.
Whaaaat???
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:05 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,288 posts, read 511,056 times
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The issue is professionalism/public behavior - and just plain common sense. Knowing when it’s appropriate to express a personal opinion (or not) shouldn’t be so difficult.
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:05 AM
 
8,083 posts, read 5,295,646 times
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Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
Whaaaat???
Go read post # 111.
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,102 posts, read 54,597,263 times
Reputation: 66496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I find it's a good rule never to remark on someone's appearance. Not fat, not thin, not those people with eyes that look in different directions, not the guy with the big birthmark in the middle of his forehead, not the guy with the big bubbly growth on his lip, not the woman who has appeared to be pregnant for the last ten years, not the guy with his head entirely tattooed. Don't say a word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Ryu View Post
Unless you are about that life... If it goes to a fight you don't back down, no calling 911, no calling your lawyer, etc. But the majority of the people fall back on calling 911, threatening to sue, etc.
How does that relate to what I said?

Explain to me how not remarking on someone's appearance would "go to a fight". I also have no idea what the phrase "Unless you are about that life" means.
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:23 AM
 
6,594 posts, read 1,357,711 times
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I think that the best course is to not mention weight AT ALL in the workplace to anyone unless you are on firm ground (meaning that you are on the same diet or exercise program and you like to share tips, experiences or recipes, for example).

I have a 56-year-old male co-worker who is something of a nutrition and fitness fanatic, and he often makes comments to me about two of our co-workers, one who is obese and one who is morbidly obese. He makes comments like he is concerned about them (and I truly believe he is, as he is a very nice guy), but I think that he might one day go "over the line". He actually made me just a little bit uncomfortable when he once said that I was just right, not too skinny and not too fat, and very fit for my age. (I'm a 65-year-old woman.)

P.S. I do think it is great if companies encourage good nutrition and fitness for all their employees, however!
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,782 posts, read 10,195,889 times
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Those comments have no place in the workplace, period, regardless of whether someone can "take it" or not. It's called tact. Duh. I guess that's dying these days. I am never cozy enough with coworkers to make such personal comments about their weight. Additionally, I'd wager over 60% of the workforce in most firms I've worked at is overweight or obese. So is America.
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