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Old 04-08-2019, 12:04 AM
 
6,389 posts, read 5,459,826 times
Reputation: 8880

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It works both ways. I've always watched my weight very carefully and worked out daily to stay in shape, even now that I'm pushing 60. Years ago, I had an overweight co-worker make snarky comments about my size 4 body, snark about "superficial" women who worked out (she HATED Jane Fonda), and give me these weird up and down, head to toe elevator looks. All while she noshed donuts at her desk and ordered takeout lunches. Once her OWN BOSS whispered to me, "No wonder she's getting fatter and fatter." This was when he brought her a project to find her on the phone ordering lunch, and gave it to me to do instead.
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Old 04-08-2019, 01:55 AM
 
12,686 posts, read 14,068,003 times
Reputation: 34762
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat and she was like look at your behind..referring to my butt since I'm pear shaped and bottom heavy. I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs. Used to be lighter but gained few pounds

Ofcourse I was offended by it. when she asked me for something I said no, you called me fat. Then she was like oh you look good. The extra pounds suits you. You're not fat.I will let it go for now but she makes those remarks again I will report her

Would they overlook this ? Comments like this are hurtful and my clothes already tells me I'm gaining weight and don't need her to point it out. Should I report her?
She was rude.

But judging from what I put in bold you are not entirely happy with with the extra weight. Why not turn your energies to losing a few pounds...find some fun exercise environment or activity. Your weight you can change, your workmate probably not...even if you do report her.
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Old 04-08-2019, 02:10 AM
 
11,121 posts, read 8,531,120 times
Reputation: 28084
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat and she was like look at your behind..referring to my butt since I'm pear shaped and bottom heavy. I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs. Used to be lighter but gained few pounds

Ofcourse I was offended by it. when she asked me for something I said no, you called me fat. Then she was like oh you look good. The extra pounds suits you. You're not fat.I will let it go for now but she makes those remarks again I will report her

Would they overlook this ? Comments like this are hurtful and my clothes already tells me I'm gaining weight and don't need her to point it out. Should I report her?
Report her to whom and for what?
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Old 04-08-2019, 04:39 AM
 
2,078 posts, read 1,855,579 times
Reputation: 2677
Just tell her you don't like the comments. That's not something to report, lol.
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Old 04-08-2019, 05:00 AM
 
935 posts, read 1,056,196 times
Reputation: 1777
I’m so sorry you had to experience that, especially at work. I cannot imagine anyone thinking it is ok to say that to anyone, especially at work. That is reportable to HR and I can see why you’d consider reporting it. I’d make sure I document it and if it comes up again then I would report it.

In case you aren’t aware of the research, monitor your subconscious response to this. Research shows that having people draw weight gain to someone’s attention does not motivate the person to lose weight, it does the opposite and accelerates the weight gain. It makes them avoid social situations and self-medicate with food. I have a coworker who is also a good friend who is gaining weight- she’s got a lot of stress in her life right now. I cannot help her by saying hey I noticed your getting a little pouch- that helps no one. I can listen to her and help allievate her stress when possible. I can ask her if she wants to go for a walk or the gym after work. Those are ways I can help and show I care.

Again, I am sorry you had to go through this. Best wishes.
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Old 04-08-2019, 05:10 AM
 
Location: Long Island
6,521 posts, read 2,922,995 times
Reputation: 4777
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
Why is everyone making light of this and saying she's too sensitive? It's absolutely rude to comment about someone's weight, especially since she didn't ask for any opinions. And it's not like she's that overweight or anything.

While I wouldn't report her to anybody, I would give her a piece of my mind and point out something about her that she should improve. Let her get a taste of her own medicine.
Yeah I'm really surprised that everyone is making this the OP's fault. That coworker was incredibly out of line. Some people are just rude.

You can't let it stop you from being professional or interacting with her when needed for work, but you don't have to be friendly or chatty with her again.
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Old 04-08-2019, 05:54 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,024 posts, read 21,728,201 times
Reputation: 22191
It’s absolutely rude! There’s nothing to report. If someone on my team reported something like that I would ask “how did you deal with it? “. You’re an adult and need to work out problems with them directly.
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Old 04-08-2019, 06:16 AM
 
4,073 posts, read 2,938,996 times
Reputation: 7036
Pick something about about her to come back with. "Men love women with butts. You, however, must have a ton of trouble finding men with that 1980s hairdo."

Problem solved.
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Old 04-08-2019, 06:25 AM
 
928 posts, read 255,097 times
Reputation: 2539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Yes you should report her and then sue her for defamation for say $10 million all because you can't handle a little criticism.

Or, use her comment as motivation to lose the extra weight. Clearly you are not happy about the weight gain but you want everyone around you to pretend you did not gain weight. Sort of like the emperor without clothes.

I have found in life if you take something negative but true and use it to better yourself instead of dwelling on the negative comment you come out way ahead. Lemons into Lemonade.
What's the point of telling someone this? Why did this coworker need to "criticize" OP? What are her qualifications to make this criticism and why is it appropriate in the office (I assume they don't work in a gym or physical therapist's office). It's not about "pretending" she didn't gain weight, it's about not sticking one's nose where it doesn't belong. Am I "pretending" my coworker didn't wear a green shirt today if I don't mention it? What need is there to point out a change you see in a person you barely know?

Yes, the coworker's comment was offensive, hurtful, unnecessary, and unprofessional.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Liar_Liar View Post
She might see it differently.



Not everyone is that sensitive. My friends make fun of me about certain things and I do the same. It's whatever...

Anyway, just grow some courage and tell her you don't appreciate those comments. She'll probably feel embarassed and.... the end.
Your friends say these things. Not acquaintances who should be keeping the relationship professional, not personal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
You sure have some courage on this forum, why didn't you use some of it when your co-worker made her remark?
Because OP is more professional than her coworker and knows she doesn't have to say everything on her mind in the workplace? She told the woman her comments were offensive. Telling her to work on her own ass first wouldn't have helped the situation and would've made her no better. (It probably would've done the woman good to hear it leveled right back at her, but sometimes at work you have to keep your mouth shut, even if the other person needs to hear it, because that's not the kind of behavior that belongs at work.)
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Old 04-08-2019, 06:27 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,489 posts, read 62,120,010 times
Reputation: 32153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat...
Is she right?
Quote:
I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs.
close enough.


Quote:
Should I report her?
Yes. To the hurt feelings division of the PeeCee Police
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