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Old 04-09-2019, 12:11 PM
 
540 posts, read 223,135 times
Reputation: 1545

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One of our bosses is just uncouth. He told me my hair looks like straw, told a gal in a different department that her dress looked like a rug. He tells guys they are overweight and unhealthy to their faces. He told one of our fit guys he was too old to work out with weights. We just snicker about it because most folks will get an insult of some sort or another during the life of his career.

I have had folks on and off make rude comments during the course of my career. Just shrug it off and make a point to be kind to others and think about who you can encourage and compliment that day.
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Old 04-09-2019, 01:30 PM
 
7,085 posts, read 1,780,334 times
Reputation: 4201
Quote:
Originally Posted by rummage View Post
Name calling. That's your solution. What a pleasant work environment that would be -- NOT!
What names did I suggest the OP call the co-worker? I simply said to tell them to look in the mirror. Please do not put words in my mouth. Lots of people can dish things out but can't take them. If the co-worker realizes any comment they make will be replied to in kind that may just end it right there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rummage View Post
I've been in the work force for many years, and I never hear or see anyone acting unprofessionally like that. And your suggestion puts gas on a burning fire, it doesn't contain or resolve it.
I don't know where you have worked but over the years I have seen it all. And before working in school. Best way to handle a rude person is to give it right back to them. Doing nothing, sulking and venting here does not solve anything. And running to the supervisor is liable to lead to more issues with that person in the future. They are going to want to get even for being complained about.
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Old 04-09-2019, 01:36 PM
 
7,085 posts, read 1,780,334 times
Reputation: 4201
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
what an ridiculous incoherent answer..no it's not choice. I can't choose to be offended as much as I can't choose my other emotions

You are allowing yourself to be offended by such comments. Either you control your emotions and feelings or they control you.



It comes from developing self confidence. Anthony Robbins is a good place to start.
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Old 04-09-2019, 04:12 PM
 
1,546 posts, read 400,415 times
Reputation: 2891
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
You are allowing yourself to be offended by such comments. Either you control your emotions and feelings or they control you.



It comes from developing self confidence. Anthony Robbins is a good place to start.
Tony Robbins encourages an unprofessional work environment and for people to insult each other? Guess I missed that coming from him. You are going to have to provide a link where he preaches this, because I entirely missed it.

The idea of telling others to simply put up with it, with snarky replies is insane. This is the same kind of advice told to women who had to deal with sexual harassment for decades. And now you tell someone to use self-help to deal with it. Truly horrible advice.

You really have a twisted concept of what a professional work environment is like. Just because there is an office, chairs and people get paid to be there, that doesn't automatically make it a professional work environment. Expecting people to ignore name calling and insults is simply unacceptable. I'd fire anyone who spoke that way to others in the company or to vendors.

To the OP or any anyone else putting up with this, use it to motivate you to update your resume and skills, and find a better place to work. It takes more courage to change to improve yourself to find something better than to memorize a bunch of snarky replies which do nothing.
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Old 04-09-2019, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY
35,443 posts, read 10,488,468 times
Reputation: 33524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
You are allowing yourself to be offended by such comments. Either you control your emotions and feelings or they control you.



It comes from developing self confidence. Anthony Robbins is a good place to start.


Exactly.

Sadly, workplaces are full of people who say unkind things. The answer isn't running to Mommy, marinating in the slights, or snappy comebacks.

Ignore it, distance yourself from this person, and get back to work. It's called being an adult.
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Old 04-09-2019, 08:02 PM
 
2,053 posts, read 595,941 times
Reputation: 2905
Women talk like this to each other all the time even at work. Unless there's complaints from others it's gonna be hard to get her disciplined.

Quote:
Originally Posted by davebarnes View Post
Useless without photos
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Old 04-09-2019, 10:23 PM
 
7,085 posts, read 1,780,334 times
Reputation: 4201
Quote:
Originally Posted by rummage View Post
Tony Robbins encourages an unprofessional work environment and for people to insult each other? Guess I missed that coming from him. You are going to have to provide a link where he preaches this, because I entirely missed it.

The idea of telling others to simply put up with it, with snarky replies is insane. This is the same kind of advice told to women who had to deal with sexual harassment for decades. And now you tell someone to use self-help to deal with it. Truly horrible advice.
Again you are just making up things. I mentioned Tony Robbins as a tool for self improvement. Clearly the OP has low self esteem. And I never said Tony Robbins advocated insulting others. In fact you quoted my comments where I said nothing of the sort.

And your advice is what? Run to the supervisor and whine that someone got their feelings hurt? And that is going to make everything better? From what I have read this was a one time comment, a true comment not ongoing harassment. And the OP seems to be making a big deal about one comment. My advice of working on improving ones self esteem is appropriate here.


If this co-worker is making ongoing derogatory comments about the OP well that would be different but there is nothing stated in this thread to indicate that. One comment, one time. Yes let that go.

Last edited by Oklazona Bound; 04-09-2019 at 10:36 PM..
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Old 04-10-2019, 06:59 AM
 
544 posts, read 525,730 times
Reputation: 581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Again you are just making up things. I mentioned Tony Robbins as a tool for self improvement. Clearly the OP has low self esteem. And I never said Tony Robbins advocated insulting others. In fact you quoted my comments where I said nothing of the sort.

And your advice is what? Run to the supervisor and whine that someone got their feelings hurt? And that is going to make everything better? From what I have read this was a one time comment, a true comment not ongoing harassment. And the OP seems to be making a big deal about one comment. My advice of working on improving ones self esteem is appropriate here.


If this co-worker is making ongoing derogatory comments about the OP well that would be different but there is nothing stated in this thread to indicate that. One comment, one time. Yes let that go.

Excuse me..don't make assumptions about my self worth just because of a rude unprofessional person who is out of touch with socially etiquette .Knock it off !
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Old 04-10-2019, 07:12 AM
 
6,536 posts, read 2,362,084 times
Reputation: 15038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62 View Post
Yet another opportunity to be "offended."

Anyone would be offended if they were told they were fat. This is not some new PC 'snowflake' thing.
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Old 04-10-2019, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Upstate NY
35,443 posts, read 10,488,468 times
Reputation: 33524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Again you are just making up things. I mentioned Tony Robbins as a tool for self improvement. Clearly the OP has low self esteem. And I never said Tony Robbins advocated insulting others. In fact you quoted my comments where I said nothing of the sort.

And your advice is what? Run to the supervisor and whine that someone got their feelings hurt? And that is going to make everything better? From what I have read this was a one time comment, a true comment not ongoing harassment. And the OP seems to be making a big deal about one comment. My advice of working on improving ones self esteem is appropriate here.


f this co-worker is making ongoing derogatory comments about the OP well that would be different but there is nothing stated in this thread to indicate that. One comment, one time. Yes let that go.

And that's the point

BTW, I standby my innocuous post, which elicited a not-surprisingly anonymous and childish rep comment.

Superiors and HR departments don't need to be burdened by kindergarten stuff. Moreover, the inability to deal with this kind of nonsense independently, without engaging higher-ups, will garner just as much attention by management, as the initial offending comment. This kind of infantile krapulence is why many women can't make it in the boardroom.

Believe it.

Last edited by Delahanty; 04-10-2019 at 07:46 AM..
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