U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-09-2019, 11:41 AM
 
857 posts, read 224,784 times
Reputation: 1400

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Story time.
So I am finishing out my time at a job that turned from once promising into a miserable existence because of constant pointless restructuring. During my time at this company, the department I originally signed on to work for got busted up, I got reassigned to a job I would never have taken, the manager who I worked for and had a decent relationship with got forced out.

This was all disheartening to me and even with my best efforts to adapt, the happenings took their toll and my work quality suffered and I ended up being placed on a PDP and written up and eventually demoted and pretty much my coworkers hate my guts which is just as well since I was seen as an outsider from ďthat departmentĒ anyway.

I earned a Masterís in a different field and had been looking for a job in that field for a few months and finally got a great offer last month.

Here is the gripe:
In excitement I posted on my social media that I got an offer as a show to family and friends who saw and heard how miserable I was since my demotion. Now with my social media, I completely exclude current coworkers from following for a reason, but am more open about former coworkers Iíve become friends with. An old coworker saw my post and informed my management about my offer. Then that management confronted me about the offer which I was forced to tell them about it.

I was and am still absolutely furious that this former coworker decided to blab my offer to my current management and irate that my management confronted me about it instead of waiting for me to come to them. I had been very transparent about looking for work in my field and felt I should have been trusted to come to them with a very sensitive situation. I hadnít even passed the background check yet and I was waiting for another potential offer so the offer I posted about wasnít a done deal. But I passed the background check, the other offer didnít work out, so it is a done deal and I am out.

My question is, even though I posted my offer to social media, do I have a legit gripe because this person knew how mush BS I was in at work and that management was looking for a reason to fire me? If so, who is more deserving of my anger, the ex coworker for blabbing or my management for acting on it?
I am not clear on whether you indicated on the posting of offer that you haven't given notice and it was confidential. If the former co-worker intentionally divulged this knowning you didn't give notice and would put you in a precarious situation, I would let him know I didn't appreciate it.

However, is it possible that it was assumed it was a done deal and perhaps the co-worker said something in passing to your boss like "I heard x is leaving." Sometimes even former co-workers stay in touch so perhaps it wasn't something intentional.

Your former manager has an self-interest in knowing you are leaving as soon as possible so he can make plans for a replacement and do whatever else in preparation for your leaving. So, no I don't fault the manager.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-09-2019, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,045 posts, read 21,795,401 times
Reputation: 22276
Sorry, you have no one to blame but yourself. You put it out there, people will think it is public knowledge. Don't put something out on social media you wouldn't want every person in your life to know. Hard lesson.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Aurora Denveralis
8,717 posts, read 3,120,940 times
Reputation: 13140
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
Sorry, you have no one to blame but yourself. You put it out there, people will think it is public knowledge. Don't put something out on social media you wouldn't want every person in your life to know. Hard lesson.
There is a Victorian/Mauve Decade rule that no one, especially young men and women of good breeding, should ever write anything in a letter that they would not be comfortable seeing published in a newspaper.

A bit restrictive, but allowing for evolution of what's "proper," still pretty valid.

I thought it was pretty well known by now, even for those just reaching job/adult/real world age, that your social media self is in no way insulated from the walking, talking, sweating, fumbling-around self.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,601 posts, read 52,795,008 times
Reputation: 70935
I mean, you can be mad.
But you put the info out there.

Not mutually exclusive.

I never talk about work on facebook. Or politics.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 12:48 PM
 
9,808 posts, read 17,037,958 times
Reputation: 18479
When you post on social media, you might as well put it on a billboard by the side of the road.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,274 posts, read 8,349,702 times
Reputation: 20216
The only person you should be mad at is yourself for having a big mouth.

You made the announcement public.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,655 posts, read 33,499,485 times
Reputation: 32383
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
Sorry, you have no one to blame but yourself. You put it out there, people will think it is public knowledge. Don't put something out on social media you wouldn't want every person in your life to know. Hard lesson.
Would it be different if me and my friends were having drinks at the bar, I mentioned the offer and the dude blabbed it? Iím under the impression that I have vetted these friends to only those I can trust not to put me in that position in the first place, no matter HOW I told them about my offer. Guess I should live by my own words, donít trust anyone, from now on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Aurora Denveralis
8,717 posts, read 3,120,940 times
Reputation: 13140
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Would it be different if me and my friends were having drinks at the bar, I mentioned the offer and the dude blabbed it? Iím under the impression that I have vetted these friends to only those I can trust not to put me in that position in the first place, no matter HOW I told them about my offer. Guess I should live by my own words, donít trust anyone, from now on.
It's a similar situation, but not identical. Saying something to a small group and having one of them blab is is a little different in that it's hearsay and you've limited your exposure and it becomes hearsay - which a boss or HR person might give a little credence to, but know it's subject to a lot of factors.

YOU putting it on a social media platform that can be read, directly, in full context and exactly as written, by your boss or around 5 billion other people on earth... just a bit more incriminating.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
372 posts, read 190,494 times
Reputation: 1400
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Would it be different if me and my friends were having drinks at the bar, I mentioned the offer and the dude blabbed it? I’m under the impression that I have vetted these friends to only those I can trust not to put me in that position in the first place, no matter HOW I told them about my offer. Guess I should live by my own words, don’t trust anyone, from now on.
Your friend may not have known they were in a "preferred group" on your social media and thought you were making a "for the public" statement.

If you're in a setting as you describe above, I'd assume you would qualify the statement with a "hey, this isn't a done deal, so please don't share beyond this group... but finally got a job offer" or similar.

If I am sharing information that needs to be kept secret or within a small group of people, I always state that. Even if they're people I know wouldn't share. I'd rather there be no confusion about what's OK to share and what's not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2019, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,105 posts, read 5,418,240 times
Reputation: 12622
I'll echo what some of the others have asked:

Did your friend/former co-worker know it was information not to be shared yet?

^This is important to knowing whether you have a legitimate gripe or not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top