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Old 04-09-2019, 08:52 AM
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,641 posts, read 33,434,470 times
Reputation: 32362


Story time.
So I am finishing out my time at a job that turned from once promising into a miserable existence because of constant pointless restructuring. During my time at this company, the department I originally signed on to work for got busted up, I got reassigned to a job I would never have taken, the manager who I worked for and had a decent relationship with got forced out.

This was all disheartening to me and even with my best efforts to adapt, the happenings took their toll and my work quality suffered and I ended up being placed on a PDP and written up and eventually demoted and pretty much my coworkers hate my guts which is just as well since I was seen as an outsider from ďthat departmentĒ anyway.

I earned a Masterís in a different field and had been looking for a job in that field for a few months and finally got a great offer last month.

Here is the gripe:
In excitement I posted on my social media that I got an offer as a show to family and friends who saw and heard how miserable I was since my demotion. Now with my social media, I completely exclude current coworkers from following for a reason, but am more open about former coworkers Iíve become friends with. An old coworker saw my post and informed my management about my offer. Then that management confronted me about the offer which I was forced to tell them about it.

I was and am still absolutely furious that this former coworker decided to blab my offer to my current management and irate that my management confronted me about it instead of waiting for me to come to them. I had been very transparent about looking for work in my field and felt I should have been trusted to come to them with a very sensitive situation. I hadnít even passed the background check yet and I was waiting for another potential offer so the offer I posted about wasnít a done deal. But I passed the background check, the other offer didnít work out, so it is a done deal and I am out.

My question is, even though I posted my offer to social media, do I have a legit gripe because this person knew how mush BS I was in at work and that management was looking for a reason to fire me? If so, who is more deserving of my anger, the ex coworker for blabbing or my management for acting on it?
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:02 AM
1,690 posts, read 553,258 times
Reputation: 3572
Honestly, you don't have grounds to be upset at your co-worker or management.

Putting something in writing under your real name is making it public knowledge. Take this as a lesson. Never post anything to social media that you wouldn't be comfortable with everyone knowing.
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:40 AM
423 posts, read 231,735 times
Reputation: 2123
I have to agree with Lekrii. Treat social media as if it were a billboard in the middle of Times Square. But what's done is done and the only thing left to say to you is -- CONGRATULATIONS on your new position! In a few months you can post about how wonderful your new company and coworkers are!!
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:48 AM
4,079 posts, read 2,945,731 times
Reputation: 7081
First, congrats on the new position.

Second, in no way, shape or form do you have any axe to grind with anyone who reads something you share on social media and shares that information. While it is a tad high on the slimy scale, you chose to share it so once that happens it's out there for the world to see and share.
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:48 AM
Location: Los Angeles
12,184 posts, read 10,359,091 times
Reputation: 33215
You made it way too easy for your co-workers. I'd have only posted this privately. You do not have a legit gripe.

Congrats on the new job though and being rid of this toxic place/people!
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Old 04-09-2019, 10:41 AM
6,884 posts, read 7,281,254 times
Reputation: 9786
I will disagree....and say you do have a gripe -- and it's with the former co-worker.

I take it this former co-worker doesn't work where you work now (the place you are leaving), but USED to work there.

I know you posted the info on your social media page. But still....WHY would s/he feel the need to call a manager s/he doesn't work for anymore and tell them something about you. Unless that former coworker is such good friends with the former boss. But even so, it wasn't her business to tell. And now you know s/he's a snake, and not to be trusted.

You have no gripe with management because once they know you're leaving, they almost have an obligation to the company to talk to you about it, and find out if it's true. Granted, how they approach you about it you may not appreciate. But I don't think you can fault them for coming to you about it.

As for social media in general, I don't know why people feel the need to put their business out there for so many people to see and know. And these are people who should know better. Pick up the phone and tell those who need to know. I don't even TEXT things that could come back to bite me.
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Old 04-09-2019, 11:19 AM
Location: Denver CO
21,177 posts, read 11,785,778 times
Reputation: 32188
Former co-worker was a jerk for tattling on you with info that was clearly shared on a friendship level, not a work level. On the other hand, lesson learned for the future about not prematurely sharing info like this publicly esp. online to a relatively large group of people vs. one-on-one with a few close, trusted friends.

In any case, time to focus on the future, so put this behind you and on to bigger and better things. Best of luck in the new position!
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Old 04-09-2019, 11:21 AM
Location: Aurora Denveralis
8,626 posts, read 3,037,542 times
Reputation: 12878
"I've never heard an honest man use the word legit." - Carnivale
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Old 04-09-2019, 11:29 AM
Location: Tennessee
23,581 posts, read 17,567,761 times
Reputation: 27667
Like you, I'm very hesitant to add in coworkers to Facebook for precisely this reason. I only have a handful of former coworkers added.

While technically you probably shouldn't have put it out there, the person crossed a line by informing your management. That person is no friend.
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Old 04-09-2019, 11:39 AM
6,205 posts, read 2,865,717 times
Reputation: 15721
To management, I would have been clear that they will be informed once you Do have a solid offer. Til then it's business as usual.
No right-minded business would cross the line of taking information that hasn't come from horse's mouth. Of which , until your ready you are not required to confirm or deny .

And yes this former colleague needs a swift talking to. You can feel deceived and rightly so. How you choose to convey this to them will ease your mind.
The sooner the better.

Some careers shouldn't force you to adapt to their dysfunction.
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