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Old 04-11-2019, 06:34 PM
Location: Small community in the California Sierra Mountains
119 posts, read 47,281 times
Reputation: 206


Originally Posted by Alaskan Mutt View Post
Maybe try just going to lunch with them one day a week. On that day join in the conversation. If it gets political don't hold back. However keep it friendly.
Yes, and remind them you are older. Too old for politics, all you need to do now is work to make your bills. One day a week is ALOT so tell them you are looking forward to seeing them every Friday. Or whatever day
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Old 04-11-2019, 07:00 PM
18,350 posts, read 23,519,650 times
Reputation: 34397
thanks but no thanks.....

no obligation to go to lunch...

I wouldn't go either,,,,

and you aren't being anti-social this is a workplace...not a dorm...
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Old 04-12-2019, 02:12 AM
Location: on the wind
7,099 posts, read 2,911,245 times
Reputation: 24033
Originally Posted by sqhammer View Post
* Coworkers go out, buy food and sit together every day.
* Usually lasts 75-90 mins.
* I'd rather just eat at my desk while working and get home 75-90 mins earlier every day.
* I also like to save money.
* I turn down lunch invitation occasionally, but if I do it too often then I know I'm viewed as a try-hard or a workaholic trying to out-compete them.
* Several of them always find a chance to interject their political opinions into the lunch conversation. I am opposite side of the political fence as them but it's the side that has to stay silent about its opinions nowadays, if you catch my drift.
* I'm a little older than my coworkers and can't relate to their conversational topics that well (TV shows, bar hopping, clubbing, dating, etc.).
* There are plenty of reasonably priced, quick food options within a quarter mile of our office, but they often want to drive to some local hot spot.
And, there are classic multiple-page threads discussing every minute aspect of it too. Seriously doubt no stone's been left unturned over this one.
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:55 AM
689 posts, read 249,768 times
Reputation: 1815
OP, are you new at that company? If yes, you do need to "fit" in a little bit. Maybe try to go out with them once a week or once a month as some other posters suggested. You can tell them in an assertive tone of voice that you cannot afford to eat out everyday, you make your own lunch, hope them to understand. And they should because they are adults. If they don't, that's their problem, not yours. Do not care what they think.

But if you are not new, do whatever you want - don't go out for lunch with them at all as you wish.

Honestly, I can spend money to contribute to or buy gifts for my co-workers' wedding showers, baby showers, birthdays sometimes, and farewells. But I don't want to go out for lunch with them at all. I bring my own lunch most of the times and go out for lunch on my own sometimes. I'm an introvert and a "loner" (I don't care what people think about me). I don't like to be in the crowds and talk about politics or about other people's personal life and gossip about TV shows and movie stars so much. I feel it's wasting time. I just care about to go to work, do a good job, to be nice and professional with my co-workers and go home and enjoy my life. I can read good books and watch whatever movies, knowing about any celebs and politicians I want. I am just curious a little bit about them, and I leave them alone. I don’t really care about or admire them though. That's it. My co-workers know that, and they are okay with me. They just have to get used to me that way. About work, I have no problems. I help others sometimes. And when I need help, I ask nicely, and they help me. They offer me help sometimes time too. That's good for me.

Sometimes, I see some people are too much. They are too nosy about other people's life and like to gossip and spread out rumors. I think they like to be "important" and think that way, other people would think they were smart and know-it-all type. Actually, they are not. They are just trying too hard and fake.

Be yourself and be assertive. You don't have to please everyone. Don't give a damn about what people think and say behind your back about you. Only if anyone says it to your face, and if you don't agree with what s/he says, then speak up for yourself.

Remember Dr. Seuss said: "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:57 AM
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27640
I would simply tell them that I don't want to go out to every day. Doing it occasionally for "team building" is different than it being the default expectation.
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:12 AM
4,076 posts, read 2,938,996 times
Reputation: 7047
Originally Posted by cheapdad00 View Post
I would be curious in how many environments this would actually be valid. If you skip lunch, would you be allowed to leave work 90 minutes early? From a perception standpoint, the larger organization would see you leaving 1.5 hours early and would have an issue with that more than who went to lunch. [If they are gone for lunch for 90 min, they aren't seeing you working during those 90 minutes. But because they need to work the extra 90 min, they are all there to see you checkout early. What is the management structure like at your place of employment?]
I was just going off of what OP stated, that s/he leaves 90 mins early after eating at their desk alone rather than spend that time out at lunch.

You're right, this is not typical unless you are an hourly employee. But if he/she can do that there is no way I would waste that much time at lunch. In and out!
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:38 AM
4,249 posts, read 8,138,831 times
Reputation: 5085
Eating Lunch With Coworkers Everyday

Feeling awkward about having lunch with coworkers everyday
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:49 AM
2,372 posts, read 2,390,881 times
Reputation: 2373
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
There are plenty of environments where no one really cares. I havenít worked in an environment where people really cared for a while, but it has always been expected that you will make up the time. In my current job we get a 1-hour lunch, but we have a 3-hour lunch period and if we want to extend within the lunch period, it is really no big deal so long as we make up the time either before or after the longer lunch. I know it makes it pretty convenient for lunchtime doctor appointments, for example, because you donít have to use any sick leave.
Yes, completely understand. I work in an environment that has a flexible lunch period, but if we skip lunch, it doesn't mean we can leave at 3:30 each day. It is far more accepted to take a longer lunch than to leave early. That is a preferred solution compared to eating lunch at your desk and also having to stay to the end of the workday.
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:12 AM
325 posts, read 394,797 times
Reputation: 671
"Thanks for the invite, but I'm okay today. You guys have fun though!" - me, 90% of the times that I'm asked. Eventually, people get the hint and they don't ever take it personally when I decline, or they stop asking altogether. It's not that big of a deal.
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:18 AM
Location: New York
743 posts, read 457,938 times
Reputation: 1945
I was this way with happy hours. I just declined, and eventually they stopped asking or not as frequently.

It's not a big deal. As long as you work with reasonable people they will eventually realize that you have your own priorities. If you are a newer employee, there's always the initial awkward social pressure to be included in everything, but it levels out eventually and you can find some balance.
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