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Old 04-11-2019, 08:57 AM
 
1 posts, read 715 times
Reputation: 33

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* Coworkers go out, buy food and sit together every day.
* Usually lasts 75-90 mins.
* I'd rather just eat at my desk while working and get home 75-90 mins earlier every day.
* I also like to save money.
* I turn down lunch invitation occasionally, but if I do it too often then I know I'm viewed as a try-hard or a workaholic trying to out-compete them.
* Several of them always find a chance to interject their political opinions into the lunch conversation. I am opposite side of the political fence as them but it's the side that has to stay silent about its opinions nowadays, if you catch my drift.
* I'm a little older than my coworkers and can't relate to their conversational topics that well (TV shows, bar hopping, clubbing, dating, etc.).
* There are plenty of reasonably priced, quick food options within a quarter mile of our office, but they often want to drive to some local hot spot.
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:12 AM
 
419 posts, read 230,432 times
Reputation: 2095
The question you have to ask yourself is - Do you care what they think of you? If the answer is No then just do you. You could always go middle of the road and sit with them for 30 minutes with a sandwich you brought from home. I would not personally care to listen to conversations I can care less about for that long period of time.
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:20 AM
 
17,254 posts, read 10,176,823 times
Reputation: 28770
No one's forcing you to socialize.

Go your own way, if you are a decent and hard-working employee, no one would care.
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Old 04-11-2019, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,533 posts, read 24,129,655 times
Reputation: 48896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
No one's forcing you to socialize.

Go your own way, if you are a decent and hard-working employee, no one would care.
In a perfect world, that would be true, but often times people are judged if they turn down every single invitation. So if projects come up, OP might not be the first person his colleagues reach out to.

It's perfectly fine for OP to tell the lunch group, "Hey, thanks for the invitation, but I use my lunch break to read/meditate/catch up on [something]," but he should attend a lunch once a month or so, just to look like a team player.
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Old 04-11-2019, 11:36 AM
 
Location: HoCo, MD
4,343 posts, read 7,985,937 times
Reputation: 4756
Quote:
Originally Posted by sqhammer View Post
* Coworkers go out, buy food and sit together every day.
* Usually lasts 75-90 mins.
* I'd rather just eat at my desk while working and get home 75-90 mins earlier every day.
* I also like to save money.
* I turn down lunch invitation occasionally, but if I do it too often then I know I'm viewed as a try-hard or a workaholic trying to out-compete them.
* Several of them always find a chance to interject their political opinions into the lunch conversation. I am opposite side of the political fence as them but it's the side that has to stay silent about its opinions nowadays, if you catch my drift.
* I'm a little older than my coworkers and can't relate to their conversational topics that well (TV shows, bar hopping, clubbing, dating, etc.).
* There are plenty of reasonably priced, quick food options within a quarter mile of our office, but they often want to drive to some local hot spot.
Really? You KNOW that? Or you think that?

Having been on both sides of the table, they very likely couldn't care less if you go or not.

The chocolate stain on your shirt, the blemish on your forehead, or the fact that you drive a cheap car (or outrageously expensive one). Most people don't notice it and/or don't care. We only think everyone else notices it.

It's only a dilemma if you make it one between your ears....
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Old 04-11-2019, 11:46 AM
 
906 posts, read 478,695 times
Reputation: 1201
Been there.

Suffered through lunches IF they resulted in water cooler gossip. I've worked places where co-workers go out to lunch and most of the chat is about the job, people in the company etc. Those are the lunches you occasionally want to be included in because keeping up with what people you work with are doing and saying about things happening in the office is important. You don't have to contribute anything - just listen. You don't want to be the ONE PERSON who DOESN"T KNOW the climate of what's happening.

BUT if the chat is mostly about irrelevant outside activities and you really don't enjoy their company - life is WAY too short too suffer through those lunches - even occasionally.

But you don't want them DISLIKING you - because it is always the case you will eventually need a favor or need them to work together with you on a project etc.. My solution in those cases is just to say - I've got a lot of family and personal expenses (which is always pretty much true) and money is really tight so I just can't afford going out to lunch. There. That's it. They can either respect that or think of you as a tightwad but that's ok. It really isn't something they can hold against you or argue against and after they ask - and you answer like that a few times - they should stop asking. I've done that and it works. Occasionally then I will bring in the age old box of donuts to show I"m not REALLY a tightwad - and don't DISLIKE them - and its always worked out well.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:05 PM
 
2,053 posts, read 595,092 times
Reputation: 2905
Go to one a month.

If they don't think you are a team player and supervisors take them seriously unfortunately you'll have to find a new job.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
6,152 posts, read 6,320,285 times
Reputation: 100630
Maybe try just going to lunch with them one day a week. On that day join in the conversation. If it gets political don't hold back. However keep it friendly.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:27 PM
 
4,073 posts, read 2,936,413 times
Reputation: 7036
Zero chance I would go to a 90 minute lunch on a *daily* basis and then work an extra 90 minutes. For me it's definitely diminishing returns with respect to work. The longer I'm parked in front of my desk the less effective I am. In and out as fast and efficiently as I can, if that means sitting alone and eating at my desk, so be it. And throw in the fact that these people are injecting politics in an area where that subject should never be brought up and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit of guilt for not joining them.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:46 PM
 
591 posts, read 247,829 times
Reputation: 1349
I say you should look out for yourself and do what you feel most comfortable doing. Maybe if someone asks you why don't want to go out to lunch, explain it to them in a nice way. If they want to be catty about it, let them.

Get your work done and look out for yourself.
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