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Old 04-13-2019, 03:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Like a long ago boss told us "It's strictly voluntary if you participate. Just like it's strictly voluntary what I write on your evaluation."
Wow. Just wow.

I don't even know that person, obviously. Yet, the first thing that came to mind when I read that was "a$$ hole."

It's years away. But I can't wait until I retire so I don't have to deal with even just the possibility of dealing with a manager like that, and that kind of BS.
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Old 04-13-2019, 03:46 PM
 
Location: here
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We have them at my office. If I don't work with the person I don't go. If I do, I do go. They are usually around lunch time but run over. People come when they can, and leave when they need to. Some take only the lunch hour, some longer. If it is a shower, I always take a gift because that's what a shower is. We also have retirement parties and going away parties during work hours. I go to those if I know the person. I don't take a gift. People did it for me. I like to pay it forward.
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Old 04-13-2019, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,156 posts, read 11,761,610 times
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Quote:
Even though people may be told attending is "voluntary", people will remember who participated and who bought a gift and who did not.
In my experience, no one remembers whether people gave a gift or not.

For my baby shower, most people kicked in some money and they put it towards one of my bigger ticket items on my registry (something that was about $200ish IIRC). I have no idea if people chipped in $1 or $20, I was just touched that they participated, signed the card, came and ate a piece of cake and wished me well. And there was no attendance list, so chances are some people who didn't chip in still stopped by and no one cared.

I did get individual gifts from some people who I was closer to like the ones in my specific department. I might have noticed if someone I considered a good friend didn't come at all (assuming they were at work that day, of course) but I don't think that happened.

I've participated in work showers - baby and bridal - and going away parties, retirement parties. It's a human trait to acknowledge these types of life transitions and for those of us who are fortunate enough to enjoy the company of the people we spend many hours a day with, we don't begrudge participating in these activities, knowing that at other times, we were the one being celebrated. If someone doesn't feel that way about their co-workers, they are always free to opt out.
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Old 04-13-2019, 04:18 PM
 
645 posts, read 313,138 times
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Nay
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Old 04-13-2019, 04:30 PM
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Location: Ohio
16,822 posts, read 33,203,260 times
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At my last job, my department head allotted 90 minutes in the middle of the workday for a couple of employee baby showers. The choice was between attending the shower and getting a 90-minute break from work, or doing 90 minutes of work. Not surprisingly, most people chose the break from work!

What rankled me a little bit was that those showers and a monthly birthday party for everyone with a birthday in that month seemed to be the chief function of the admin that my then-new department head hired. No one in the job before him had had an admin.
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Old 04-13-2019, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Long Island
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We have a small celebration during work hours. A card goes around and people can contribute if they wish. I threw one for my manager. No one was looking to see who put what in the envelope. I also bought a separate gift (board books - my standard baby gift).

I contributed recently to a shower for someone I didn't know. When I got there I learned she had just had a baby two years earlier. I tend to think of showers just for the first.
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Old 04-13-2019, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,429 posts, read 8,143,854 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
It was held during regular work hours.
Right, that's what I assumed by what you said. So what did you do? If it was held...

- Right in the morning - Show up later in the day or have a work friend call you to let you know when it's wrapping up so you can shop up around the time it's ending.

- At lunchtime - That's perfect. Go out to lunch on your own.

- At the end of the day - Leave early that day like I said.
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:17 AM
 
6,838 posts, read 3,710,891 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by selhars View Post
Wow. Just wow.

I don't even know that person, obviously. Yet, the first thing that came to mind when I read that was "a$$ hole."

It's years away. But I can't wait until I retire so I don't have to deal with even just the possibility of dealing with a manager like that, and that kind of BS.
It was at the beginning of my career and I too am so looking forward to retirement. There were a lot of mandatory "voluntary" things back then -- after work formal dinners where you had to get dressed up and buy a ticket to the dinner (it was one of these dinners he was speaking about because low participation from his division made him look bad so he gave us a "pep rally" so to speak), showers and parties like the OP. And the worst were the charity contributions. The division directors got brownie points for meeting their goal, so the collectors came around with suggested contributions based on pay rate and two lists -- those who contributed and those who didn't. Those suggested contributions could be half a months' pay or more for those at the low end.


Yep, so looking forward to retirement.
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,091 posts, read 45,594,679 times
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Assuming I worked closely with a person, I have no problem giving her a gift for the baby, and having a piece of cake, and wishing her well. No big deal. This is far better than having to go to a shower outside of the work week, and using personal time, playing stupid games and oooing and ahhhing over the gifts.
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,628 posts, read 33,413,509 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
On company time, and each attendee to bring a gift....

Admittedly, have never been to a baby shower (not my culture). I also am not close to the mom-to-be, and I feel that such things are best celebrated outside the workforce. In a setting with many young women of childbearing age, introducing this concept may get costly.

What are your thoughts?
Iím a strict Hell no on baby showers. It got really awful at the job I just left where it seemed like every two weeks there was one and we were getting hit up for donations and gifts. I just refuse to contribute or donate because Iím single and paying all my bills by myself so I donít have money to throw around like that when the majority of my department was married women who had spouses to supplement their income. This is the same department where I didnít get one mention for my birthday or finishing my Masters so that just added to my refusal to contribute. The result of 30 seconds of sex is worth celebrating but not 30+ years of existence or three years of hard work? Nah.
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