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Old 04-14-2019, 08:01 AM
 
684 posts, read 248,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Assuming I worked closely with a person, I have no problem giving her a gift for the baby, and having a piece of cake, and wishing her well. No big deal. This is far better than having to go to a shower outside of the work week, and using personal time, playing stupid games and oooing and ahhhing over the gifts.
LOL. Exactly. Yeah, lots of times you don't like something about work or events, and you even hate it, but you still have to put a smile or grin ear to ear on your face to pretend you like it. That's the workplace. That's life.
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,090 posts, read 45,584,713 times
Reputation: 61690
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Iím a strict Hell no on baby showers. It got really awful at the job I just left where it seemed like every two weeks there was one and we were getting hit up for donations and gifts. I just refuse to contribute or donate because Iím single and paying all my bills by myself so I donít have money to throw around like that when the majority of my department was married women who had spouses to supplement their income. This is the same department where I didnít get one mention for my birthday or finishing my Masters so that just added to my refusal to contribute. The result of 30 seconds of sex is worth celebrating but not 30+ years of existence or three years of hard work? Nah.
You sound like a joy to be around, so it could be your attitude is so bad that they dont feel like celebrating you.

Anyway, happy birthday, and congratulations on getting your Masters.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:34 AM
 
645 posts, read 312,680 times
Reputation: 1361
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Iím a strict Hell no on baby showers. It got really awful at the job I just left where it seemed like every two weeks there was one and we were getting hit up for donations and gifts. I just refuse to contribute or donate because Iím single and paying all my bills by myself so I donít have money to throw around like that when the majority of my department was married women who had spouses to supplement their income. This is the same department where I didnít get one mention for my birthday or finishing my Masters so that just added to my refusal to contribute. The result of 30 seconds of sex is worth celebrating but not 30+ years of existence or three years of hard work? Nah.
Hey, I get it. Frankly..I do not ďworkĒ to support gifts and showers etc in the workplace. I once refused to contribute to the Christmas gift of Waterford Chrystal for the Director of my department. ( he collected Waterford). I told my butt-kissing Manager that I was refusing to donate because it is inappropriate to buy a gift for a higher up, I did NOT own Waterford much less ďcollectĒ it. And my vehicle was not a Mercedes. I worked there another 10 years with no repercussions. I only celebrated my work friends milestones after hours. We did not make it a donation grab. We are still friends long after we all moved on from the employer we worked for. Those who want to participate..do it.
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Old 04-14-2019, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Washington state
5,428 posts, read 2,756,099 times
Reputation: 16308
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Iím a strict Hell no on baby showers. It got really awful at the job I just left where it seemed like every two weeks there was one and we were getting hit up for donations and gifts. I just refuse to contribute or donate because Iím single and paying all my bills by myself so I donít have money to throw around like that when the majority of my department was married women who had spouses to supplement their income. This is the same department where I didnít get one mention for my birthday or finishing my Masters so that just added to my refusal to contribute. The result of 30 seconds of sex is worth celebrating but not 30+ years of existence or three years of hard work? Nah.

Exactly what happened when I first started working. God only knows what was in the water, but there was a shower for a pregnant woman each month the first year I worked. I simply couldn't afford to contribute a percentage of my paycheck every month to these women.

Was I unpopular? You bet. Did I care? Not at all.
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Old 04-14-2019, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,661 posts, read 3,665,305 times
Reputation: 10620
I worked for a small company (15ish employees) and everyone participated in the three baby showers that happened during the six years I was there. One of them was mine. I honestly don't even know/remember who planned them. I know that we each chipped in $10 or $15 and someone went out and purchased a gift off of the registry from all of us. We also all celebrated birthdays (I'm laughing out loud because we actually chipped in and hired a male stripper AT WORK when the female boss turned 40... I had totally forgotten about that until just this minute and I know it would not fly nowadays).

Anyway, yes, if it's a small company like that, you participate in the baby shower to avoid drawing negative attention to yourself. I know it might not be your thing, but that's just typical office politics. Besides, how many showers could possibly take place each year? If it's a larger company and your absence would not be missed or noted, then feel free to not go, of course.
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Old 04-14-2019, 02:57 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,508 posts, read 70,430,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
On company time, and each attendee to bring a gift....

Admittedly, have never been to a baby shower (not my culture). I also am not close to the mom-to-be, and I feel that such things are best celebrated outside the workforce. In a setting with many young women of childbearing age, introducing this concept may get costly.

What are your thoughts?
Baby showers should never be inflicted on a captive audience. If the expectant parent is friends with some of the people at work, s/he can invite those people to a shower at a private location.
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:23 PM
 
20,701 posts, read 13,720,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
On company time, and each attendee to bring a gift....

Admittedly, have never been to a baby shower (not my culture). I also am not close to the mom-to-be, and I feel that such things are best celebrated outside the workforce. In a setting with many young women of childbearing age, introducing this concept may get costly.

What are your thoughts?
Baby and marriage showers have been a thing in workplace for ages; going back at least to the 1940's or so. More so when you have a place where large numbers of females are employed.


Every place I've worked since the 1980's saw the "girls" at all levels get together and give a shower for a female who was getting married or having a kid. Guys usually didn't attend the actual party, but did stop in for some of the food/refreshments. And yes, usually everyone in the department/office high to low, male or female put something in the envelope/kitty.


These days with gay marriage, same sex couples or even single guys (gay or straight) having kids the thing isn't the strictly female any longer. This and or many workplaces just aren't same today as twenty or forty years ago, so fewer may bother.


Do remember when a local gay weatherman here in NYC had his kid he Tweeted pictures from the baby shower his co-workers gave.
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:51 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,632 posts, read 23,219,501 times
Reputation: 48734
Nay.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:17 PM
 
332 posts, read 141,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser View Post
I think baby showers at work should never happen.

It's one thing to give a party after hours so those who are invited can choose not to come. But no matter how you plan it, an office party almost always touches everyone in the office whether they want to be a part of it or not.

Even though people may be told attending is "voluntary", people will remember who participated and who bought a gift and who did not. That can affect working relations on the job and probably isn't the best thing for the company.

But the main reason I think office baby showers should never happen is because you never know who wants a baby and can't have one or who has miscarried a baby they wanted. I remember the one office baby shower someone tried to give (in a very small office) and one of the employees was found crying in the bathroom. Unknown to anyone, she had just miscarried her first child. She wasn't "forced" to attend this baby shower, but it was in the lunchroom and obviously the whole place knew about it as it was going on.

I can't think of anything crueler to do to someone than to make him/her an involuntary participant in a baby shower when they themselves want a baby so much and know they aren't going to be able to.
I agree with you. I want to have a child but can't due to finances and now it is too late. It kills me and I don't want to be reminded how unfair it was for me and my husband. It really does hurt.
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Old 04-14-2019, 10:17 PM
 
684 posts, read 248,421 times
Reputation: 1810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torontobase View Post
I agree with you. I want to have a child but can't due to finances and now it is too late. It kills me and I don't want to be reminded how unfair it was for me and my husband. It really does hurt.
I agree with you. Besides baby showers, I see somebody at work who has many children and keeps talking about her children constantly when there's another co-worker in the same office who had a couple miscarriages and could not give birth anymore. That is very insensitive and inconsiderate.
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