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Old 04-14-2019, 10:32 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,471 posts, read 3,639,813 times
Reputation: 19479

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnOrdinaryCitizen View Post
I agree with you. Besides baby showers, I see somebody at work who has many children and keeps talking about her children constantly when there's another co-worker in the same office who had a couple miscarriages and could not give birth anymore. That is very insensitive and inconsiderate.
People should never talk about their children at all?
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Florida
5,661 posts, read 3,667,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnOrdinaryCitizen View Post
I agree with you. Besides baby showers, I see somebody at work who has many children and keeps talking about her children constantly when there's another co-worker in the same office who had a couple miscarriages and could not give birth anymore. That is very insensitive and inconsiderate.
That could really be applied to anything. Someone is buying a house and someone else is hurt because they foreclosed on their home a few months ago. Someone is getting married and someone else is getting divorced. Someone is going on vacation and someone else can't afford it. Someone just celebrated their mother's 60th birthday and someone else buried their mother last year. Unfortunately, everyone goes through painful experiences and they will often be at the same time as when others are going through wonderful experiences. People talk about what is important in their lives and yes, obviously parents are going to talk about their children. And pregnant women are not going to hide their growing bellies. And they will call the office to announce when their baby has been born. Such is life.
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:47 AM
 
5,460 posts, read 2,921,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post

What are your thoughts?
No. I made a decision when I started my job I would not purchase any "fundraisers" for co-workers' kids, buy any bridal/baby shower gifts from/for anyone. It would just be easier that way then pick and choosing. It can get expensive when one works with 200+ people.

Sometimes it gets a bit uncomfortable when someone asks me to donate. Saying, "sorry I don't have cash for that today", usually works.
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Old 04-15-2019, 06:52 AM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,471 posts, read 3,639,813 times
Reputation: 19479
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
That could really be applied to anything. Someone is buying a house and someone else is hurt because they foreclosed on their home a few months ago. Someone is getting married and someone else is getting divorced. Someone is going on vacation and someone else can't afford it. Someone just celebrated their mother's 60th birthday and someone else buried their mother last year. Unfortunately, everyone goes through painful experiences and they will often be at the same time as when others are going through wonderful experiences. People talk about what is important in their lives and yes, obviously parents are going to talk about their children. And pregnant women are not going to hide their growing bellies. And they will call the office to announce when their baby has been born. Such is life.
Agree.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
It's one of those things we have to suffer through as part of the cost of having a job. Much like buying a suit or special clothes for work, gifts for various events are a necessary expense.

That said, I don't like them. I can understand a going away luncheon for someone leaving, but wedding and baby showers seem a bit over the top. Those are things that are supposed to be thrown by best friends for best friends, not quasi-mandatory work function where participation goes into your "not a team player" score. The thing for me isn't the cost, but the essentially mandatory part of it. Like a long ago boss told us "It's strictly voluntary if you participate. Just like it's strictly voluntary what I write on your evaluation." Yep, message received, loud and clear.
Exactly. I'm not going to contribute unless I'm personally close to the person. Stuff like that being part of work always struck me as somewhat unprofessional.
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:40 AM
 
4,739 posts, read 4,019,318 times
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Nose, face.

Sometimes it is wise in life to not cut off your nose to spite your face.
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Old 04-15-2019, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,536 posts, read 24,129,655 times
Reputation: 48901
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnOrdinaryCitizen View Post
I agree with you. Besides baby showers, I see somebody at work who has many children and keeps talking about her children constantly when there's another co-worker in the same office who had a couple miscarriages and could not give birth anymore. That is very insensitive and inconsiderate.
While I sympathize with people struggling with fertility issues, it's entirely unrealistic to expect everyone in the office (or their family, or society in general) to refrain from mentioning their families. Children exist in the world--those people need to learn to cope.
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:16 PM
 
3,605 posts, read 1,556,409 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
On company time, and each attendee to bring a gift....

Admittedly, have never been to a baby shower (not my culture). I also am not close to the mom-to-be, and I feel that such things are best celebrated outside the workforce. In a setting with many young women of childbearing age, introducing this concept may get costly.

What are your thoughts?
Get a greeting card and some toy from dollar shop .$2.17 maximum expense. Since its a management "organized"event, its highly likely that they may gossip about those who didnt contribute.

You should look for a better employer if you can.
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:02 PM
 
332 posts, read 142,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnOrdinaryCitizen View Post
I agree with you. Besides baby showers, I see somebody at work who has many children and keeps talking about her children constantly when there's another co-worker in the same office who had a couple miscarriages and could not give birth anymore. That is very insensitive and inconsiderate.
Absolutely! When they talk about their children all the time, it can be difficult weather you have children or not. Employment is for that, to work and do your job. It is okay to hear a little bit about children or whatever it may be, what this original post is about the pressure that you have to contribute and appropriate in the workplace?

I still say not appropriate. I want to work and get my job done.
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Old 04-16-2019, 06:54 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,991 posts, read 32,804,883 times
Reputation: 27517
I generally find a reason to not be around when these things happen. Being in a male-dominated field, I've thankfully been able to mostly avoid them throughout my career.


I can't always get out of chipping in $20-$50 for the "group gift" though.
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