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Old 04-16-2019, 07:37 AM
 
325 posts, read 395,493 times
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$20-$50 per person?!? Pardon my language, but "**** that!"

I'm thinking that you meant $20-$50 combined for a gift?


Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I can't always get out of chipping in $20-$50 for the "group gift" though.
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Old 04-16-2019, 08:11 AM
 
1,210 posts, read 1,048,530 times
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We used to have baby showers in the office. One person collected all donations, and a few people would go out and buy gifts with it. No pressure to donate, no one kept track of it or knew who gave what, and everyone was invited to the party for cake. The parent to be was kept completely in the dark and would simply be invited to some meeting at that time. The organizers would often try to get the spouse to come in as a surprise as well. They were a lot of fun. Our company culture has changed since then, for the worse I think.
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Old 04-16-2019, 11:34 AM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,559 posts, read 3,665,665 times
Reputation: 19612
Quote:
Originally Posted by j7r6s View Post
We used to have baby showers in the office. One person collected all donations, and a few people would go out and buy gifts with it. No pressure to donate, no one kept track of it or knew who gave what, and everyone was invited to the party for cake. The parent to be was kept completely in the dark and would simply be invited to some meeting at that time. The organizers would often try to get the spouse to come in as a surprise as well. They were a lot of fun. Our company culture has changed since then, for the worse I think.
The company I used to work for eliminated all of that. They also sent out a notice saying they would no longer be sending flowers to people who had a death in their family. Kinda sad that it's come to that.
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Old 04-16-2019, 04:09 PM
 
1,369 posts, read 1,114,293 times
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Having baby showers at work is not a problem in my opinion. OTOH, "voluntold"-ing me to participate is. Personally, I always decline these events unless I'm close to the person who it's for.

Just decline the invite w/o explaining why and be done.
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Old 04-16-2019, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Washington state
5,440 posts, read 2,766,106 times
Reputation: 16373
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
People should never talk about their children at all?
It's not really that. Obviously people are going to talk about their kids. But being a little sensitive about certain subjects never hurts, either.

For instance, I don't have kids because I chose not to have them. I understand people coming up to me and asking if I have kids or how many kids I have. I don't mind saying I don't have any. But then the person starts getting curious and wants to know why. Whatever I answer is going to lead to more personal questions, but the point is, by going on to ask why, the questioner has now gone from being friendly to being nosy. Women don't need to explain why. It could be they can't conceive or they can't carry a child to term and who needs to explain something like that? For that matter, who needs to know that about someone else?

There's a line between talking about normal, everyday stuff and then being insensitive and talking about personal things (in the lunchroom I don't really want to hear how many stitches you had after giving birth) or asking intrusive questions which will only lead to more intrusive questions. Would you talk about someone behind their back if you thought they could hear you? Of course not. There's a time and place to talk about everything, but we need to be polite and respectful of who is around us before we choose the time and place.

It's inevitable that someone somewhere will end up being hurt by something someone else has said or done, but that's not a free pass for the rest of us to trample everyone's feelings for want of a little situational awareness and tact.
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Old 04-16-2019, 06:40 PM
 
1,590 posts, read 826,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doppelkeks View Post
On company time, and each attendee to bring a gift....

Admittedly, have never been to a baby shower (not my culture). I also am not close to the mom-to-be, and I feel that such things are best celebrated outside the workforce. In a setting with many young women of childbearing age, introducing this concept may get costly.

What are your thoughts?
I suppose if they can allow birthday celebrations, they must allow this. I agree with you that these things do get costly and should be done outside of work hours. But that is just not how it is. I don't like it, either.
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Old 04-16-2019, 06:57 PM
 
936 posts, read 1,057,662 times
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Ugh I hate this practice and wish it would just go away. I absolutely loathe attending these events and they make me cranky for the rest of the day. Showers are thrown by family and if you’re a close enough friend, you’ll be invited. Otherwise just say congrats and move on. I’m at work to do my work, earn my pay, and go home. Not to socialize, make friends, and learn about everyone’s personal life.

I don’t want to spend my lunch break or stay late for a baby shower- I want to eat, run errands, or go home. I find baby and bridal showers to be less pleasant than going to the dentist. Omg the stupid games do me in. Smell the baby diaper and guess the candy bar- just no.

Now I just send a card with cash. That’s the real purpose of these events anyways- help the new parent or new couple financially. We can just admit it, send cards, and skip those tedious parties altogether.

Last year we were voluntold (I love this word) to have a bridal shower at work for a woman who didn’t even invite us to her wedding. That was really irritating.
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Old 04-16-2019, 07:00 PM
 
936 posts, read 1,057,662 times
Reputation: 1777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeko156 View Post
I suppose if they can allow birthday celebrations, they must allow this. I agree with you that these things do get costly and should be done outside of work hours. But that is just not how it is. I don't like it, either.
Yes birthdays too!! Those need to end. Again, Im at work for my paycheck not to make bffs. And with 40+ coworkers- that adds up when were chipping in $10 for each birthday, wedding, baby, retirement, and funeral.
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