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Old 04-17-2019, 08:11 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,719 times
Reputation: 10

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So I've been an attorney for 10 years and don't really enjoy what I do as it is all litigation. I was asked by a long time friend to join his company in a management role. He is retiring and wants to groom his successor over the next five years. He reached out and expressed a desire to hire me with the expectation that I'd work under him, learn and eventually take over the company. We are having further discussions in a few weeks but he indicated he'd pay me significantly more then I'm currently making as he felt my skillset is a good match. I was very surprised by the offer and my gut tells me to go for it.

My reservations are that I work with my in-laws and don't want them to think I bailed on them. It will also require an hour and ten minute commute as it's in the town I grew up in and not where I live. My kids are school age and I don't feel comfortable moving them...is this commute doable? He said I'd have the flexibility to work from home when needed and get home for their sporting events as my hours could be moved around. The business operates 8AM to 10PM.

I guess I really feel guilty about leaving my inlaws but at the same time I know I'm down the food chain here and think that an opportunity like this doesn't come along very often. I had looked to leave about 2 years ago and was talked into staying with them basically saying they needed me here and I was offered more money to stay. I felt so guilty that I passed up the opportunity and stayed on. I stopped actively searching and kind of resigned myself to a future here.

However, I was recently approached by a client who suggested my name to a large corporation to take over an in-house counsel position(we do no work for this corp my client just happened to know the CEO). They put me in contact with the CEO and we had some discussions and in the end it was not the type of work I was looking for, but the CEO said other roles will open in the next year as they overhaul the legal department and he would like me to consider them as they come up. I agreed. My wife mentioned this to her mother and her first reaction was not good job...but instead...why didn't they offer it to her other daughter(who I work with). My wife was kind of taken aback by this reaction on her mother's part.

I mentioned to my father in law that I was approached and turned them down but hoped to use the contact to get some business. His response was also along the lines of why didn't they ask his daughter and why would they ask me as he had spent years trying to get their work. My wife and I discussed the new offer and she is on board as she now sees what I have always believed in that my in-laws do not have my best interest at the fore front in the business. She is in agreement about the offer but I still feel so damn guilty. I know the new position would be more money, a chance to take over the company and no more billable hours! I guess I am just afraid of what happens if it doesn't work out and how the family will react. This is an entirely new field. Thoughts?
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Old 04-17-2019, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Full time in the RV
2,869 posts, read 6,410,961 times
Reputation: 2432
You are letting emotion override your judgement.

This forum is filled with horror stories of working for a family business-and you are part of the family!

What happens if/when your in-laws retire, die, get sick, sell the business? Do you think they will worry about you? Are they concerned about you now?

This is really a no brainer. You want to leave, your wife is on board, go!
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Old 04-17-2019, 09:06 AM
 
4,056 posts, read 2,626,853 times
Reputation: 8794
I wouldn't be concerned about what your in-laws think. From their comment about why didn't their daughter get the offer, it's clear they're not looking out for you.

If you want to leave the law and go into management, I would go. I would not however take a job (unless absolutely necessary to pay the bills, which this isn't) that had over an hour commute. If it's an hour commute in good weather with no traffic accidents it could easily double if either of those happen. Long commutes can be soul crushing and if you're going to take over the CEO role that will more than likely be a huge time commitment outside of the hours eaten up by the commute. Personally, I'd pass on this job unless you wanted to move. However some distance from the in-laws might be a good thing. People move all the time. Your kids will adjust.

Working in-house as an attorney has a lot of advantages assuming the company is stable. I would definitely keep my options open there.
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Old 04-17-2019, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Texas
162 posts, read 43,156 times
Reputation: 332
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReggieBonVoy View Post
. My wife mentioned this to her mother and her first reaction was not good job...but instead...why didn't they offer it to her other daughter(who I work with). My wife was kind of taken aback by this reaction on her mother's part.
So the in-laws are looking out for what is best for their family, and not your family. They saw it as a great opportunity for their daughter to leave but now you?

Any change is jobs is a risk. You have a great opportunity that seems to be a good fit for you. You also know that your skills are marketable at other firms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReggieBonVoy View Post
. I guess I am just afraid of what happens if it doesn't work out and how the family will react..
So you get "We told you so" or "You can come back for less money" ... none of those would deter me from doing what I know is right for me, a chance for upward mobility and a more fulling opportunity.
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Old 04-17-2019, 09:18 AM
 
1,811 posts, read 527,250 times
Reputation: 2260
I would say that the first thing you should do is inquire with your friend what the Management role would be like, day to day dealings, what you would like, can you handle what you would hate about the job, stuff like that.

Then you get a commuter car if youre worried about mileage on your car, but an hour commute is normal for many people. Especially if you can work from home at times.

It does really sound like a no brainer.
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Old 04-17-2019, 09:26 AM
 
9,788 posts, read 17,001,194 times
Reputation: 18428
While I understand the dynamics of your current situation, I don't think you are anywhere near the top of your in-law's priority list.

Before I made a leap like that, I would need to know specifics about the financial stability of the company, projected outlook, specifics about hours, expectations, obligations and what, exactly, I was supposed to manage. The commute would suck, but it sounds like you can avoid a rush hour commute if you want to. I would also think about staying in a cheap hotel every once in a while. Maybe go in on a Tuesday and put in 12 hours, spend the night in a hotel, put in four or five hours the next day, and bail at lunch. Working from home once in a while would be a big help as well. Expect to be available by phone/email/text 24/7 with the new role.
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Old 04-18-2019, 02:36 PM
 
1,093 posts, read 630,021 times
Reputation: 1970
Nice going lucky boy. Throw some of that luck here while you brag about yourself, okay?

You're clearly in a fortunate but difficult position where you are to choose not simply between jobs, but also as you've suggested between family. Be serious to yourself about which one matters the most.

You might not feel comfortable about moving your kids, but your kids might not mind. Or, they might mind. The right question to ask is how your choice would affect them long-term, would they be better off moving? Or staying?

How much time do you spend with them anyway? Would you make up with it more if you commuted? What happens when they turn into young adults? Have you planned for their college? Are you ready to put up with their !$^?"$

These are straight up questions and they don't have a right answer, you seem to have one problem - picking between yourself as a single person, and a husband/father of a family. To me, it's a no-brainer.
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