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Old 04-27-2019, 06:33 AM
 
Location: 26N x 82W
538 posts, read 285,484 times
Reputation: 898

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
But luckily other much better opportunities came about and I just emailed them boldly and said "I quit" due to the above.
So you already knew the answer to your question, since you quit.

People in charge of other people can choose whatever face they want to show. Some are cowards, bullies and afraid of the superior talents and/or job knowledge of those that report to them. To counteract that they become ***holes.

Sometimes you get a person who is secure in their skills and trusts others to be so also. I had a supervisor that I respected, she respected me. We are still friends after decades of working together. We 'retired' together after a few years ago after new bosses came in with no knowledge of the industry and showed their cards as ***holes.
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Old 04-27-2019, 06:35 AM
 
6,859 posts, read 3,725,365 times
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Yes, bosses can be abusive. However it's impossible to tell from your original post whether the emails were abusive or not. Without knowing the context of the emails and what rules were being broken, we can't say.
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Old 04-27-2019, 07:58 AM
 
Location: HoCo, MD
4,351 posts, read 7,997,930 times
Reputation: 4759
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
I realize that jobs are at will. That said, can bosses be abusive? It may not be a legal question, but just something you have to think about when deciding to leave an employer.



My example is this. I wrote about it some before. I interviewed for a job, trained, then was given a 180 degree different schedule than I applied for.



I simply questioned this and was not given work for a week, was told I said something completely different in an email, but didn't dare refute it, due to the angry nature of the communication.



Emails get sent out on my days off, with questions, demands for immediate responses and threats of suspension for not following new rules. Then text sent out demanding that I respond to the emails on my days off when I didn't do so as quickly as they would like.


I get it. Employers are free to be a - holes. But it seems to me to be abusive. I have been tempted for a short time to just walk on eggshells and did that to buy time. It sucked.



But luckily other much better opportunities came about and I just emailed them boldly and said "I quit" due to the above.


It seems like employer abuse is very similar to abuse in personal lives, but people feel trapped and have to put up with it.



Is this not abuse or just plain wrong: being deceived or given the bait and switch, being gas lighted, being threatened to lose a job over just the possibility of not complying to new rules, and having demanding text sent on days off to reply to work related emails when an hourly employee.



I've worked lots of places and never experienced anything like this.
Anyone can be abusive. It's a personality trait - or the results of a personality trait.
Obviously, it's a bigger issue when it's exhibited by people with authority. But it's not unique to them. I've seen managers get abused by their staff. Albeit, in this case, people see this as an issue with the manager (spineless, can't manage, etc.).

At the end of the day - a job is more than just what you do. It's also about who you are working with, working under, and support those that work for you. This is why I don't agree with those that say evaluations for performance/interviews should be strictly based on one's ability (hard skills). And why "culture" and "fit" IS important. Now, I'm not saying the methods to determine these things are flawless (personality tests, etc.).

As for the OP - I'd also say that one's perspective also play a huge role. Someone coming off as abusive or belligerent may be under some extreme pressure or being abused themselves. I'm not saying you need to make this your own problem or that it makes everything okay. But simply saying that sometimes, asking a few questions can give you a different insight and actually give you additional options to tackling the issue.
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Old 04-27-2019, 08:10 AM
 
946 posts, read 262,118 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macroy View Post
This is why I don't agree with those that say evaluations for performance/interviews should be strictly based on one's ability (hard skills). And why "culture" and "fit" IS important. Now, I'm not saying the methods to determine these things are flawless (personality tests, etc.).
But what "culture" and "fit" would apply here? Them hiring someone who will put up with being expected to work on their days off without compensation, being lied to about scheduling, etc., as opposed to someone who would rightfully have a problem with that? I suppose you could call that a "culture of hiring only doormats" but I wouldn't consider it a positive thing.
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Old 04-27-2019, 10:34 AM
 
Location: HoCo, MD
4,351 posts, read 7,997,930 times
Reputation: 4759
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
But what "culture" and "fit" would apply here? Them hiring someone who will put up with being expected to work on their days off without compensation, being lied to about scheduling, etc., as opposed to someone who would rightfully have a problem with that? I suppose you could call that a "culture of hiring only doormats" but I wouldn't consider it a positive thing.
I wasn't specifically referring to OP's environment. That said, one's perspective is also a factor. We're getting a picture that is painted by the OP. Not saying he's lying or making things up. But we all look at things differently. Just as you immediately went with the company bait and switched the OP, which could be 100% true. Or, maybe it was just a miscommunication.

Point is - this may be a high-pressure environment that is not really suited for those that are more reserved. Thus, it may actually be the opposite of a culture for doormats. It may actually be more suited for those that don't take crap.
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Old 04-27-2019, 01:15 PM
 
946 posts, read 262,118 times
Reputation: 2605
Quote:
Originally Posted by macroy View Post
I wasn't specifically referring to OP's environment. That said, one's perspective is also a factor. We're getting a picture that is painted by the OP. Not saying he's lying or making things up. But we all look at things differently. Just as you immediately went with the company bait and switched the OP, which could be 100% true. Or, maybe it was just a miscommunication.

Point is - this may be a high-pressure environment that is not really suited for those that are more reserved. Thus, it may actually be the opposite of a culture for doormats. It may actually be more suited for those that don't take crap.
All we have to go on is what the OP says. There are many ways the company could see or explain it differently, but we don't have that point of view. If the company had posted instead, no doubt we would be responding based on what they say are the facts instead.
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Old 04-27-2019, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Mars City
5,091 posts, read 2,148,028 times
Reputation: 7505
Of course bosses can be, and are, abusive. That's not even worth debating.

The ramifications and legal aspects of it is a dense and sticky subject, but we see many instances around us of behaviors that are legal and allowed, though also unhealthy and unethical.

What bosses do might be entirely legal, but the circumstances will be allowed in some companies, and not in others. It boils down to company culture, and whether the abused are submissive or combative.
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Old 04-27-2019, 02:32 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,668 posts, read 74,655,684 times
Reputation: 48187
The 2 rules of successful employment
The answer is yes to anything
And

Watch out for fellow workers if you get the axe it will come from them
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Old 04-27-2019, 03:07 PM
 
3,300 posts, read 1,567,792 times
Reputation: 3616
Truth be told, the boss is not a
God ,hero,daddy,whatever. Don't take no crap from no one. Sometimes getting back at the boss in public will make you the office hero.it is a superiority complex, and they know they can treat many employees poorly because most will just shut up and keep it moving.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:46 PM
 
3,771 posts, read 5,478,352 times
Reputation: 2990
Quote:
Originally Posted by kapikap View Post
Truth be told, the boss is not a
God ,hero,daddy,whatever. Don't take no crap from no one. Sometimes getting back at the boss in public will make you the office hero.it is a superiority complex, and they know they can treat many employees poorly because most will just shut up and keep it moving.



I sent a I quit email including my coworkers. I said it was because I was switched hours right after hiring and said I liked working with all the nice coworkers. LOL I'm sure they were pissed. But it felt awesome.
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