U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-26-2019, 08:20 PM
 
3,771 posts, read 5,470,027 times
Reputation: 2990

Advertisements

I realize that jobs are at will. That said, can bosses be abusive? It may not be a legal question, but just something you have to think about when deciding to leave an employer.



My example is this. I wrote about it some before. I interviewed for a job, trained, then was given a 180 degree different schedule than I applied for.



I simply questioned this and was not given work for a week, was told I said something completely different in an email, but didn't dare refute it, due to the angry nature of the communication.



Emails get sent out on my days off, with questions, demands for immediate responses and threats of suspension for not following new rules. Then text sent out demanding that I respond to the emails on my days off when I didn't do so as quickly as they would like.


I get it. Employers are free to be a - holes. But it seems to me to be abusive. I have been tempted for a short time to just walk on eggshells and did that to buy time. It sucked.



But luckily other much better opportunities came about and I just emailed them boldly and said "I quit" due to the above.


It seems like employer abuse is very similar to abuse in personal lives, but people feel trapped and have to put up with it.



Is this not abuse or just plain wrong: being deceived or given the bait and switch, being gas lighted, being threatened to lose a job over just the possibility of not complying to new rules, and having demanding text sent on days off to reply to work related emails when an hourly employee.



I've worked lots of places and never experienced anything like this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-26-2019, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,929 posts, read 8,394,310 times
Reputation: 15500
Can they?

Of course. Sure they can.

As a boss, I am very aware of the power I have over employees work lives and livelihoods. If I had a different personality type, I could make my employees lives miserable just because I wanted to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 08:47 PM
 
2,780 posts, read 2,018,571 times
Reputation: 2708
Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrains View Post
Can they?

Of course. Sure they can.

As a boss, I am very aware of the power I have over employees work lives and livelihoods. If I had a different personality type, I could make my employees lives miserable just because I wanted to.
They why would a boss act the way the OP's boss did?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 09:09 PM
 
17,249 posts, read 10,176,823 times
Reputation: 28762
There's a multitude of reasons why bosses become bullies.

Definitely some narcissism in there, but for some they probably feel that being bullies keeps their underlings on their toes. Being too super friendly with your underlings and acting like their best buds (facebook friends, drinking after work, etc.) can backfire.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,929 posts, read 8,394,310 times
Reputation: 15500
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05 View Post
They why would a boss act the way the OP's boss did?
Why? That is a question best posed to a psychologist.

Why are some people monogamous, while other people are unable to be faithful? Some people are generous, others are miserly. Introverts/extroverts. Gay/straight.

Some people just get off on power trips and making people miserable. They should never hold managerial positions, but sometimes they hide their horrible tendencies, other times their boss does not care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 10:18 PM
 
5,114 posts, read 2,309,561 times
Reputation: 14683
Of COURSE bosses can be abusive.


You will have to decide how to deal with this, because if you work the usual 50 years or so, you will encounter one or more of them.


Personally I believe in fighting back with all the verbal weapons at my disposal. Sarcasm, mockery, and even just standing up and screaming at someone can be more effective than you realize; also, depending on the situation, simply saying "I am not here to be abused; I'm leaving now, you let me know when you're done with your tantrum. If you decide to fire me, HR has my address and phone number" can be quite effective.


Each a-hole is unique and you will have to figure out how to deal with each one.
-
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You can only be a victim longer than necessary, if you allow it to continue. So, get out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 10:55 PM
 
3,771 posts, read 5,470,027 times
Reputation: 2990
..............

Last edited by FelixTheCat; 04-26-2019 at 11:11 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2019, 11:00 PM
 
3,771 posts, read 5,470,027 times
Reputation: 2990
I actually got really tired due to lack of sleep from my job and ended up doing something really stupid on my time off. It caused me to kill my leopard gecko on accident. I will never tell anyone about that in my real life. I feel so terrible and ashamed. I made up a story to tell my girlfriend and our 5 year old dosn't know about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-27-2019, 04:15 AM
 
11,118 posts, read 8,527,266 times
Reputation: 28064
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
I actually got really tired due to lack of sleep from my job and ended up doing something really stupid on my time off. It caused me to kill my leopard gecko on accident. I will never tell anyone about that in my real life. I feel so terrible and ashamed. I made up a story to tell my girlfriend and our 5 year old dosn't know about it.
I don't know what's going on with you, but none of this has anything to do with your job. You were on your time off. You made choices unrelated to the job. Stop blaming the job or work for the overall condition of your life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top