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Old 04-29-2019, 01:04 PM
 
40 posts, read 12,470 times
Reputation: 15

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lekrii View Post
Professionally speaking, it's important some people respect me. On a personal level, it's advantageous for people to like you.

I won't bend over backwards to be friends, but any job will be more difficult than it needs to be if co-workers don't know and respect you to a degree. Trying to get anything done without having the respect of colleagues is always difficult, regardless of how smart or skilled you are.

What should I do then?
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Old 04-29-2019, 01:25 PM
 
731 posts, read 485,832 times
Reputation: 1887
Yes unfortunately it does matter to me. I really like the people I work with. I consider them great friends. But a number of years ago I realized that many of them were hanging out and doing things together outside of work. Of which I was never invited. Of course that hurts like crap. You know, that realization that you consider them great friends more then they consider you a friend. Yes I realize it should not matter probably... it's just a job. But still hurt. Has not changed our working relationships at all. But it sits in the back of my mind.
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Old 04-29-2019, 01:36 PM
 
2,074 posts, read 873,452 times
Reputation: 5101
You have to build up your reputation with co-workers. If you are there to help them, they will think kindly of you. If you are there to just help yourself and avoid them, they won't think kindly of you. I'm not sure what work you do, but if the office is a gossip mill then they are not busy enough with work.
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Old 04-29-2019, 01:56 PM
 
17,319 posts, read 10,236,660 times
Reputation: 28866
Yes, you should if you want to last long.
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Old 04-29-2019, 02:37 PM
 
1,565 posts, read 405,831 times
Reputation: 2914
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrangeFlounder View Post

Do you care what your coworkers think of you?
You only opinion that matters about you is the one who can promote or fire you. Everyone else doesn't matter and I wouldn't spend any time trying to please others, because those that gossip will continue to do so even if you are perfect. They might even make stuff up cause they are jealous. Again, those in management are the only ones that matter what they say.
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:35 PM
 
1,711 posts, read 561,192 times
Reputation: 3633
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrangeFlounder View Post
What should I do then?
Do they hold weight in your company? Are their opinions worth anything? If yes, get to know them a bit. The problem with flying under the radar is you are at the mercy of what other people think. People will form opinions about you, no matter what you do. If you're engaging with other people, you can manage their perception of you.
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:36 PM
 
Location: ohio
2,754 posts, read 1,323,222 times
Reputation: 3128
Nope. I do what I need to do for myself. Im an introvert and it takes huge energy to meet people and I need energy in a new job so meeting people and fitting in is very low priority. This often means I am shunned and talked about. But I have witnessed extroverts start a new job, and because they talk a lot they get the treatment just like me.

So you cant win. Some people are not going to like you. Some people are going to talk behind your back. People will do what they do no matter what you do, so its best to just be yourself.
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Old 04-29-2019, 07:45 PM
 
1,372 posts, read 1,116,063 times
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If they gossip to you, they'll gossip about you. So, in the case of gossipers (who are typically low EQ people), I could care less what they think about me.

Low EQ = Low Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Quotient
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:47 PM
 
40 posts, read 12,470 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
Yes, you should if you want to last long.
Care to elaborate ?
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Old 04-29-2019, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Honolulu
1,072 posts, read 1,473,845 times
Reputation: 2355
For some yes, for others no. I realize I'm not perfect and make mistakes. If I do something wrong or even socially incorrect, I'll try to make amends to a degree, just to make those around me feel comfortable. We all have to be around each other so I want things to at least be civil. I also realize that some coworkers are blathering idiots with possibly bad intentions. Those I try to avoid and could not care less what they think of me. I don't have any friends at work but I try to treat others with respect so we can all work together.
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