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Old 05-01-2019, 09:24 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,507 posts, read 14,335,765 times
Reputation: 23366

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Oh okay. Well isn't threats just another form of it though?
Yes, physical threats are a form of bullying and blue collar jobs are perhaps prone to more of that particular type of bullying. That's not the same as saying blue collar jobs are more susceptible to bullying in general. It's possible to be bullied in any type of job, it just takes different forms.
If you are being bullied with threats or acts of violence then you should report it.
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Old 05-01-2019, 12:26 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,583 posts, read 3,670,991 times
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I think bullying goes on equally in white collar environments.
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Old 05-01-2019, 05:03 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 1,546,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Yes, physical threats are a form of bullying and blue collar jobs are perhaps prone to more of that particular type of bullying. That's not the same as saying blue collar jobs are more susceptible to bullying in general. It's possible to be bullied in any type of job, it just takes different forms.
If you are being bullied with threats or acts of violence then you should report it.
I wouldn't say they are threatening the co-workers with acts of violence, but they are insulting us, with a intimidating demeanor more so.
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Old 05-01-2019, 06:31 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,507 posts, read 14,335,765 times
Reputation: 23366
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I wouldn't say they are threatening the co-workers with acts of violence, but they are insulting us, with a intimidating demeanor more so.
Sometimes standing up to a bully, or just not backing down, or showing fear, is enough to make the bullies give up. Other times that may not be enough and you may feel the need to report. You're in the best position to determine that.
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Old 05-01-2019, 06:41 PM
 
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Okay thanks. In past experience standing up was risky though, cause you have to say something insulting back, and then that runs the risk of them reporting you for insulting them maybe, or so I fear?
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Old 05-01-2019, 06:47 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,507 posts, read 14,335,765 times
Reputation: 23366
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Okay thanks. In past experience standing up was risky though, cause you have to say something insulting back, and then that runs the risk of them reporting you for insulting them maybe, or so I fear?
No, don't insult or bully back. De-escalate if possible. Lots of info on how to do that.
First one google pulled up in a search for me:
https://vividlearningsystems.com/saf...ion-techniques
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:00 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 1,546,963 times
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Oh yeah, but whenever I've tried de-escalating they, just try harder then, and it only pushes them to try harder.

There was one before who just kept bullying everyone and de-escalating never did any good. She was just blaming everyone for why she was falling behind, cause she was trying to get ahead way too aggressively, and dragging everyone else down with her, and bullying everyone if they didn't meet her standards, even though she wasn't a superior or anything.

I finally stood up to her and raised my voice and told her that she's gotta quit sucking the bosses $%^& all the time, and stop trying to get us to suck it along with you, cause it's not going to do any good, and just get everyone pissed off against her, and I said it loud and clear to me, and then she backed down after that and stopped.

But is raising my voice and saying something like that risky, even though it worked that time?
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:12 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,301 posts, read 2,327,228 times
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Look on the bright side. With robotics taking over. It becomes less of a problem.
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:31 PM
'M'
 
Location: Glendale Country Club
1,818 posts, read 2,615,840 times
Reputation: 2546
I was recently visiting with a friend who is a high level realtor. She also attends AA meetings and has for many years. We both agree that bullies/narcissisits/sociopaths have been on the rise for years. She has had to change AA meetings frequently over the past several years to find one that isn't run by toxic narcissists, who bully members. I, too, have attended 12 Step meetings that were manned by bullies and toxic narcissists, although at the time I didn't realize that's what was happening. They smeared me because I lived in the mountains and did phone bridge meetings instead of drive down to the valley 3 times/week to meetings during snow storms. Almost everyone shunned me at the face-to-face meetings, except for a few healthy members. I had beautiful recovery with sponsors in Las Vegas and Los Angeles. Now I just refuse to go to any of those meetings in my area. I'm done! I will live my life just fine without these toxic bullies. There are other ways to find recovery.

My realtor friend and I are both empaths, so we are targets. She also runs into them on her real estate projects with very high-powered, wealthy men in the city. Both of us don't hesitate to leave when the bullying ramps up. It's the best thing to do because bullies can become violent, as my $250/hour trauma therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse has always warned me about. He has ALWAYS reminded me: "you've got to leave now!! Get out and don't go back there." He has been my cheerleader, to leave the bullies. I run into highly toxic bullies - narcissists - sociopaths - psychopaths everywhere.

I'm a self-employed, reputable homecare provider - with many 5-star references - who can command triple the average home care provider rate. I am hired by very wealthy families to care for their loved ones. Families these days seem to always have at least one or two narcissists aka bullies who want to control everything and everyone, and take the joy out of everything. These people are completely joy-less. It is very difficult to find a family that is narcissist-free. I agree with posters on this thread who say that the methods bullies use can vary with whether they are blue collar or white collar. Either way, it can make any job into a toxic mess.

Years ago, when I was between jobs, I worked as a courier. The job actually paid extremely well so I was reluctant to leave and stayed for a couple years. I did run into vicious male co-workers. I was the only woman, so I was their target. One spilled unused, clean oil near my driver's door and ran it under the car. I slipped and slid underneath my car.....this guy really knew what he was doing. He was standing nearby, looking at me, not making any attempt to divert his gaze and not walking over to help - which at the time I found very odd. Later, he followed me downstairs and stood and listened to me talk with the manager for the couriers. Intuitively, I realized this driver had something to do with the "oil spill" and my fall. Thankfully, I was younger and wasn't injured at all.

Next, I worked for 5 years at a hospital. At least 90% of the management in this rural mountain hospital - Estes Park, CO - were narcisissts/sociopaths/psychopaths. I think all the management staff was on the run from being fired down in the valley so they came up to work in Estes Park because it was the only place left for them to get a job. It was horrible. I was bullied and smeared from day one by the elderly "Christian" woman who was training me!! She even reported me to the supervisor, who was very concerned because the bully told her I couldn't do the job. However, when the supervisor left for retirement 4 years later she presented me with a special note thanking me because she ALWAYS knew when I was on duty that the job would get done perfectly, even though I had little to no help from anyone else on duty...even during the heavy tourist season.

Finally, one of my co-workers - a white trash bully - was promoted to supervisor. She didn't like me because I had many friends at work, which is very common, and did everything she could to smear campaign me and make my life miserable at work. My co-workers had told me that just before I would come in to work at 5PM - I worked the late swing shift - this "Christian" bully would start cheerleading / rabble-rousing everyone up about me...saying derogatory things about me to so everyone would behave very uncomfortably when I arrived. I just ignored it, and started my duties when I arrived. It wasn't easy.

Our Dept had to go to individual Employee Assistance counseling, one-by-one. We were told to STOP gossiping immediately. The white trash bully just continued on, gossiping about me as if nothing had happened. Nothing changed with her. Anyone I was friendly with at the hospital - doctors, nurses, radiology, food service, housekeeping, financial services, medical records, co-workers, you name it - she smeared me very effectively to them. I did notice a significant change in how these people behaved around me after her smear campaign. Smear campaigns usually have about 5% truth and the rest is fiction, FYI. I knew she would fire me once her year long mentoring program was completed. Sure enough, within about a week, she cooked up a super-deluxe smear campaign and fired me during the time when the hospital had their winter lay-off period of the higher salaried people. I had just received a 25% raise the previous fall. I was one of their better, more dependable employees.

My firing affected my re-hiring in this hospital system, which had a large hospital down in Fort Collins I could have applied to. But being fired prevented me from being hired there. I could name a large number of other situations but that is for another time. Also, I am a survivor!! I always seem to manage to come out of things and rise to a higher level than I've ever been before. Although I have C-PTSD from the ongoing bullying.

After I was fired from the hospital, I went back to work at a healthcare clinic I had worked with previously. I was at a very low point while working there, and often thought about ending my life. Being able to go to this clinic every day, plus doing some home care work, saved me. I had a purpose, even though I was depressed and despondent. I had also ended a 7 year relationship with a sociopathic bully who came across as a very mild-mannered person unless you were his girlfriend or wife...then he fully unmasked and laid on the pathological bullying very thickly. I had found a diary his deceased wife had written...she endured the same.

Live and Learn .... Cheerio!

Last edited by 'M'; 05-01-2019 at 09:56 PM..
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:34 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 1,546,963 times
Reputation: 1432
Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Why were you told to stop gossiping, if you weren't I'm guessing?
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