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Old 05-05-2019, 10:15 PM
 
Location: New York
753 posts, read 920,503 times
Reputation: 321

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I've been at my current job for about 7 months now. I'm an assistant manager at a Pediatrics practice in New York. When I first signed up for the job I knew what was required of me, however, the office manager there didn't do a good job preparing me. I was told that she was supposed to take me under her wing and teach me the ropes. Little to none of her expertise has been shared with me, she just relied on her regular staff to train me (this is my first time in the medical field).

I'm the only male in that office so any time a patient calls and says "a man told me..." I'm ALWAYS under the microscope, the head chief doctor never holds my office manager accountable for her lack of training the fault immediately falls on me, and lately, I've been hearing her and my office manager talking really bad about me.

I'm really doing the absolute best I can but no one has pulled me aside to give me any sort of feedback on a weekly basis. The practice site admin. use to have a meeting with me every week and now he doesn't even stop by to talk to me. Then I have to overhear 2 of his doctors and his office manager saying really nasty things about me. IM a MANAGER myself and no one is keeping me in the loop, but they would rather talk nasty about me.

I really want to look for another job, but I don't have time to interview and my probationary period is up in 3 weeks. I want to go to HR and talk to them, but I'm afraid that might backfire on me. I feel like going up to my chief doctor and asking her to fire me already. I feel marginalized and defeated, but I have to pay for my apartment and my bills.

I don't know what to do, I really need help...

I had to share this because lately I've been really nervous, walking on eggshells, and gaining weight due to the stress I'm feeling at work.
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Old 05-05-2019, 11:27 PM
 
17,258 posts, read 10,183,539 times
Reputation: 28778
Coping With Stress at Work

Quote:
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Burnout Busters: 10 Ways to Cope When Work Becomes Overwhelming
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Old 05-06-2019, 03:31 AM
 
1,091 posts, read 628,317 times
Reputation: 1965
Yeah, I can see why you feel defeated, it sounds like the knives are out for you. However it may not be all it seems; other managers are always under pressure themselves so there could be another story. And without knowing exactly what is going on, plus what is generally expected as responsibility and command in your field, it could be that you need to exercise stronger intuition rather than sit around waiting to be told what to do (not saying that is the case, of course, as you sound like you are trying the best you can).

In my experience, however, tolerating nonsense only ever got me so far. Not tolerating it forced other people to respect me. Your reputation is essential and it is something you need to possess as well as guard very closely. Letting others talk crap about you within earshot is a sign of deep disrespect and should not be tolerated for a moment.

If things have got to this stage, that's clearly very unpleasant, and I would put these people in a room and try to investigate if they're prepared to take you seriously by gently but firmly asking how they think about your performance. You don't blow up or scream "AAAHHH I QUIT!!!" but if you want something better than them from this crappy behavior then you're going to have to take it - if it even exists.

Last edited by dumb; 05-06-2019 at 03:37 AM.. Reason: typo
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Old 05-06-2019, 04:35 AM
 
11,125 posts, read 8,534,553 times
Reputation: 28094
If you want feedback, ask for it. Set up your own weekly meeting with your boss. Have a conversation with those doctors to clear the air. If you want things to change, you've got to change them.
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Old 05-06-2019, 05:24 AM
 
Location: New York
753 posts, read 920,503 times
Reputation: 321
Quote:
Originally Posted by dumb View Post
Yeah, I can see why you feel defeated, it sounds like the knives are out for you. However it may not be all it seems; other managers are always under pressure themselves so there could be another story. And without knowing exactly what is going on, plus what is generally expected as responsibility and command in your field, it could be that you need to exercise stronger intuition rather than sit around waiting to be told what to do (not saying that is the case, of course, as you sound like you are trying the best you can).

In my experience, however, tolerating nonsense only ever got me so far. Not tolerating it forced other people to respect me. Your reputation is essential and it is something you need to possess as well as guard very closely. Letting others talk crap about you within earshot is a sign of deep disrespect and should not be tolerated for a moment.

If things have got to this stage, that's clearly very unpleasant, and I would put these people in a room and try to investigate if they're prepared to take you seriously by gently but firmly asking how they think about your performance. You don't blow up or scream "AAAHHH I QUIT!!!" but if you want something better than them from this crappy behavior then you're going to have to take it - if it even exists.
I feel as if I should ask for my release.

Not quit, but ask them to fire me that way I can collect for a little while before I get another job. The energy there is toxic and I'm not the first assistant manager they've done this to. There have been 3 other people who had my position in less than a year when I arrived.
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Old 05-06-2019, 05:29 AM
 
Location: HoCo, MD
4,343 posts, read 7,987,569 times
Reputation: 4756
This is going to sound critical - and as always on this board, I'm sure there will be people who will scream that I'm kicking someone when their down. However, I can only go by the information I'm being provided, and adding in a few my own anecdotes. Let's face it - me telling you (the OP) that "yea, your bosses suck" isn't really going to help...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
I've been at my current job for about 7 months now. I'm an assistant manager at a Pediatrics practice in New York. When I first signed up for the job I knew what was required of me, however, the office manager there didn't do a good job preparing me. I was told that she was supposed to take me under her wing and teach me the ropes. Little to none of her expertise has been shared with me, she just relied on her regular staff to train me (this is my first time in the medical field).
This is isn't to dispute what you said or what she said. But unless there was some contractual agreement on what the expectations/accountabilities are, then it's really just a matter of perhaps you were expecting more than what they were going to provide training wise? And if that is the case - then complaining about it or being frustrated over it isn't going to solve anything. DO something about it.

Have you sat anyone down in the last 7 months and indicated this? Have you asked for help or made it clear that you needed help? Sure - you were told you'd have training. And actually, sounds like you did receive it, just not as much or by the person you expected. But if we flip this around, perhaps this is how it was done for everyone else and it's worked fine in their eyes? If you need more - you need to ask.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
I'm the only male in that office so any time a patient calls and says "a man told me..." I'm ALWAYS under the microscope, the head chief doctor never holds my office manager accountable for her lack of training the fault immediately falls on me, and lately, I've been hearing her and my office manager talking really bad about me.

I'm really doing the absolute best I can but no one has pulled me aside to give me any sort of feedback on a weekly basis. The practice site admin. use to have a meeting with me every week and now he doesn't even stop by to talk to me. Then I have to overhear 2 of his doctors and his office manager saying really nasty things about me. IM a MANAGER myself and no one is keeping me in the loop, but they would rather talk nasty about me.
Again - have you made it clear you want some feedback? And honestly - the "I'm only doing badly because I wasn't trained enough" does become just an excuse at some point if you haven't made the effort to really understand the process or whatever the shortcoming is. Again, maybe you've been nagging anyone you can and have offered to stay late after your shift to go over stuff and have been ignored. But based on what you provided, it reads like you are just waiting for more to be provided. Perhaps your silence or lack of response (if that is the case) is taken as you feel the training was adequate. Thus, your lack of ability to perform is then seen as a shortcoming.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
I really want to look for another job, but I don't have time to interview and my probationary period is up in 3 weeks. I want to go to HR and talk to them, but I'm afraid that might backfire on me. I feel like going up to my chief doctor and asking her to fire me already. I feel marginalized and defeated, but I have to pay for my apartment and my bills.

I don't know what to do, I really need help...

I had to share this because lately I've been really nervous, walking on eggshells, and gaining weight due to the stress I'm feeling at work.
You don't need to talk to HR. You need to talk to your manager. You going to her to ask for help should not backfire on you. And if it does, well, then it's probably for the best. That's not someone you'd want to work for anyways. And walking on eggshells to keep that going for a paycheck is not worth it.

Just my .02 of course.
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:33 AM
 
2,059 posts, read 595,941 times
Reputation: 2905
Why is the onus always on the new guy to proactively reach out to self-serving smarmy managers who have some sort of sadistic fetish on setting up others to fail and watching them drown?

Why are these managers never held accountable?
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:38 AM
 
2,059 posts, read 595,941 times
Reputation: 2905
Quote:
Originally Posted by macroy View Post
You going to her to ask for help should not backfire on you. And if it does, well, then it's probably for the best. That's not someone you'd want to work for anyways. And walking on eggshells to keep that going for a paycheck is not worth it.

Just my .02 of course.
What is this mythical island where talking to an inept and imbecilic manager is a good idea

I think many of you should have taken a political science class in University. You can't negotiate with irrational actors. As GWB Jr. said "We don't negotiate with terrorists".

The same rules applied to Non-state actors apply to individuals. Essentially that is what a Non-state actor boils down to, it is an individual or group of people. We are always dealing with humans. If the human has proven to be irrational then appealing to reason will be futile. That person has already demonstrated to you they are inept, unwilling to incorporate reason into their decision making.

This culture is completely dysfunctional. To make believe otherwise and encourage others to conform to the madness is to unequivocally and emphatically profess your own insanity.
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:39 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,650 posts, read 8,569,484 times
Reputation: 19863
The problem with talking to the manager is, you might succeed, and they may keep you! And I don't think that's what you want. I think you want outta there, and I don't blame you.
My opinion ..... I'd put up with the pins a needles for the little time you have left and see if they dismiss you. If they do, then good. You'll have unemployment and time that you need to correct what evidently was a mistake.
BOL!
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:39 AM
 
11,125 posts, read 8,534,553 times
Reputation: 28094
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tencent View Post
Why is the onus always on the new guy to proactively reach out to self-serving smarmy managers who have some sort of sadistic fetish on setting up others to fail and watching them drown?

Why are these managers never held accountable?
Irrelevant. If I want or need something, I get it myself. That's the most efficient route. Managers being accountable blah blah has nothing to do with me.
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