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Old 05-09-2019, 03:04 PM
 
152 posts, read 62,919 times
Reputation: 41

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Hi, I was wondering if any of you have been emotionally scarred by your past co-workers. I finally left my hostile workplace(worked for a year), and I thought I was going to be over it, but I can't get over how crazy some of these people were. Everyplace I go even though someone is kind; I second guess them and think they are abusive behind the scenes. I mean working is not like a husband/wife relationship. It's just a workplace.

My questions is have you ever left your workplace but still feel affected by the bad people?
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Old 05-09-2019, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Altadena, CA
1,579 posts, read 1,545,035 times
Reputation: 2944
Firstly, I'm sorry you had such a bad work experience with rotten people, but you're not alone. By far the worst job I had was in 2005-2006 AFTER I got laid off from a good job that I was working at for nearly 4 years. It was a small business and the owner was a narcissist idiot who love to play favorites. My supposed "boss" was a power hungry ugly troll of a woman who took joy in her wide ranging passive-aggressive behavior. Then there was the office sl-t that slept with the VP and tried to blame me for some errors in membership that were not my responsibility.

The company was so toxic, for the first time in my life, I experienced anxiety from the job and needed some anti-anxiety medication. It helped a lot, but then I realized, why do I need to take prescription anti-psychotic medications in order to go to work, do my job and deal with these a-holes? Something ain't right.

I was able to leave by just quitting, no notice, and they were pissed and confused. LOL!

Sadly, the next job I went too, was equally bad, and after a year at that hell hole, I did contract work just to earn a paycheck.

Leave as soon as you can because hostile and toxic workplaces are not good for you mentally or emotionally. There's a reason why the term, Going Postal, was coined.

Once in a while I do think back on those days only to show how far I have come in my professional life, and that I will avoid such evil workers in the future. Life is too short for this workplace crap.

Good luck.
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Old 05-09-2019, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Chandler, AZ
2,275 posts, read 1,150,257 times
Reputation: 5345
Quote:
Originally Posted by rah-ghr View Post
Hi, I was wondering if any of you have been emotionally scarred by your past co-workers.
"Emotionally scarred"??? No. I've left them in the dust. Why would I care what some dope thinks about me?
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Old 05-09-2019, 05:29 PM
 
99 posts, read 117,446 times
Reputation: 163
I've had good and bad bosses in the past, nothing though that gave me ptsd until the job I had a few years ago. My direct supervisor was a bully in the true sense of the word and enjoyed being cruel. I tried many methods to stay on since it was a good paying job - ignoring it, being extra nice, standing up for myself, talking about my concerns with her etc. Nothing changed, and it got so bad that I literally walked out even though I didn't have another job lined up. In decades of work experience I had never walked out without 2 weeks notice.


Afterwards I landed a decent job with a good boss, but emotionally it did affect me. It took time and forgiveness and I'm over it now but I understand how a severe work situation can cause ptsd symptoms.
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Old 05-09-2019, 06:01 PM
 
152 posts, read 62,919 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnojr View Post
"Emotionally scarred"??? No. I've left them in the dust. Why would I care what some dope thinks about me?
It's probably just me, but I still need them on my job history. I just hope this feeling ends like you. Thanks!
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Old 05-09-2019, 06:02 PM
 
152 posts, read 62,919 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohardin View Post
I've had good and bad bosses in the past, nothing though that gave me ptsd until the job I had a few years ago. My direct supervisor was a bully in the true sense of the word and enjoyed being cruel. I tried many methods to stay on since it was a good paying job - ignoring it, being extra nice, standing up for myself, talking about my concerns with her etc. Nothing changed, and it got so bad that I literally walked out even though I didn't have another job lined up. In decades of work experience I had never walked out without 2 weeks notice.


Afterwards I landed a decent job with a good boss, but emotionally it did affect me. It took time and forgiveness and I'm over it now but I understand how a severe work situation can cause ptsd symptoms.
Congratulations that you are over it! Thanks!
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Old 05-09-2019, 06:06 PM
 
152 posts, read 62,919 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by MItoBH View Post
Firstly, I'm sorry you had such a bad work experience with rotten people, but you're not alone. By far the worst job I had was in 2005-2006 AFTER I got laid off from a good job that I was working at for nearly 4 years. It was a small business and the owner was a narcissist idiot who love to play favorites. My supposed "boss" was a power hungry ugly troll of a woman who took joy in her wide ranging passive-aggressive behavior. Then there was the office sl-t that slept with the VP and tried to blame me for some errors in membership that were not my responsibility.

The company was so toxic, for the first time in my life, I experienced anxiety from the job and needed some anti-anxiety medication. It helped a lot, but then I realized, why do I need to take prescription anti-psychotic medications in order to go to work, do my job and deal with these a-holes? Something ain't right.

I was able to leave by just quitting, no notice, and they were pissed and confused. LOL!

Sadly, the next job I went too, was equally bad, and after a year at that hell hole, I did contract work just to earn a paycheck.

Leave as soon as you can because hostile and toxic workplaces are not good for you mentally or emotionally. There's a reason why the term, Going Postal, was coined.

Once in a while I do think back on those days only to show how far I have come in my professional life, and that I will avoid such evil workers in the future. Life is too short for this workplace crap.

Good luck.
The crazy thing is that if I didn't know these people and met them on the street; I would think they're one of the nicest people, but to know how they are and what they do in the workplace is just appalling. I regret not leaving as soon as I got hired, but I stayed for the experience. Sorry, I did not take some of your advice.
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Old 05-09-2019, 07:15 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,072 posts, read 2,899,892 times
Reputation: 23939
Quote:
Originally Posted by rah-ghr View Post
Hi, I was wondering if any of you have been emotionally scarred by your past co-workers. I finally left my hostile workplace(worked for a year), and I thought I was going to be over it, but I can't get over how crazy some of these people were. Everyplace I go even though someone is kind; I second guess them and think they are abusive behind the scenes. I mean working is not like a husband/wife relationship. It's just a workplace.

My questions is have you ever left your workplace but still feel affected by the bad people?
I suspect pretty much everyone can come up with a tale of some past coworker or situation that "damaged" their faith in other people. At some point you have to make the emotional shift from "scarred" to "experienced". If you keep picking at old scabs they'll never heal. If you can't seem to stop picking, talk to someone about it. That may be more of a matter of re-considering those individuals separately from the workplace. Learning how to let the unhelpful parts of the past go is a learned skill. At some point you have to stretch the injured part of your emotional skin and take a chance. If you never try, it would be sort of like a broken limb you never test afterwards...it becomes useless.

Make use of the lessons that experience taught you but don't let it discolor the rest of your career. Do you want to stay miserable forever? This forum is full of people like this and they aren't any better off. One thing you probably did learn out of it is how NOT to treat others. Not a bad lesson. We don't like leaving a situation without some sort of justice being served but it doesn't always happen.

Why would a workplace be compared to a marriage? It's not.

Last edited by Parnassia; 05-09-2019 at 07:24 PM..
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Old 05-09-2019, 07:28 PM
 
6,176 posts, read 2,849,330 times
Reputation: 15649
Any "time" utilized is valued. Yes,even those 8 to 10 hours wasted on incidences and toxic ppl. If 1/3 of your life is to be tolerated by poor habits in human courtesy,then take your ambitions elsewhere.
I have zero tolerance for workplaces as you describe. Somewhere a person tires of the corporate climbers and juvenile clicks. Learns to encourage others to be better.
Some events do impact us. I imagine it can take its toll.
Let's face it...it's true that we may not recall what a person said....we will always remember how they treat us. That goes both ways. It does leave it's markings.
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Old 05-09-2019, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,541 posts, read 17,525,434 times
Reputation: 27573
Kind of.

I was fired for no reason and with no notice from a no benefit contract job. The manager was friendly. I've learned to "not trust, then verify" with management from then on.
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