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Old 05-24-2019, 06:17 AM
 
189 posts, read 84,274 times
Reputation: 415

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013 View Post
I will avoid the specifics but in the meeting my co-worker was very condescending and called me lazy. I stayed calm tried to get my points across but she was very argumentative and didnt listen to me. She was very unprofessional. Anyway I am thinking of going to my boss and explaining what happened calmly and asking for advice. I will say i still like my coworker, want to work with her, but I am confused by the criticism. Does she have advise. Is this a smart strategy? Boss will ask what had I done to address the issue with worker and I will say I tried to talk to her for an hour and she was combative.

I am afraid I will look as a complainer
To move forward you might consider coming at this from a different angle and treating it as a way to show interest in self improvement. All of work ends up being political on some level. Nasty resentfful coworkers will always be in the mix. Learn to make it a win for you. Maybe try speaking with your boss and asking, "hey is there anything I can do to improve my performance?" They may ask why you ask and then you can say a coworker mentioned needed improvement (I wouldnt bash them but state they shared an opinion). At this point the info has been shared and you dont appear as a tattletail. Rather you are more seen as one who cares about doing your best.
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Old 05-24-2019, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Rochester NY
1,250 posts, read 823,096 times
Reputation: 2006
If it was just a one time thing and there are no hard feeling I would just brush it off. Maybe that person was having a very bad day and took it out on you. Not say that is acceptable, because it isn't. If it happens again then I would address it with them 1 on 1. If that doesn't work then go to your boss.
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Old 05-24-2019, 08:14 AM
 
1,550 posts, read 401,594 times
Reputation: 2896
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenwings View Post
To move forward you might consider coming at this from a different angle and treating it as a way to show interest in self improvement. All of work ends up being political on some level. Nasty resentfful coworkers will always be in the mix. Learn to make it a win for you. Maybe try speaking with your boss and asking, "hey is there anything I can do to improve my performance?" They may ask why you ask and then you can say a coworker mentioned needed improvement (I wouldnt bash them but state they shared an opinion). At this point the info has been shared and you dont appear as a tattletail. Rather you are more seen as one who cares about doing your best.
I know you mean well, but this is coming at it from the wrong direction. Because by bringing up the subject in this manner, it validates what a co-worker said so that it should be taken seriously. As a manager, I like people to speak to me in a direct manner about a problem. This would make the OP come across as being "crafty" instead of telling me about a real problem. Which would make me feel like I can't get valid information from this person in the future, I would have listen carefully to get the true meaning of a conversation.

This isn't school. This is a business, there are no tattletales. If a mechanic didn't do the brakes on your car correctly, you'd want a co-worker to speak to management about the problem in a simple and direct manner. This is not being a tattletale.

You have to think about how would you want your business to operate and go in that direction.
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Old 05-24-2019, 08:22 AM
 
1,550 posts, read 401,594 times
Reputation: 2896
What makes what this co-worker said valid that it should be taken seriously? Everyone feels they have some area to improve, and it isn't the job of this co-worker to call it out like this at a meeting. If the OP was talked to about a problem privately by a co-worker, then this would be a different situation. But it isn't. I've seen too many people treat to beat up on others at meetings, and I simply won't stand for it. It isn't their role to do this in the job. No one assigned them this role and even if they did, it wouldn't be dealt with like this at a meeting in front of others.

Many of you are entirely ignoring the agenda of someone who acts unprofessionally like this at meetings. In some management environments, they don't work that closely to the details of the work. So someone who displays emotional that they are angry about how others are doing work, this makes them look like they are more "competent". After all, to the observer in a less than stellar management environment that person looks like a leader and cares more about the work than others.

Good management doesn't fall for this ploy. They try to weed people like that out.

Last edited by Mike from back east; 05-25-2019 at 08:56 AM..
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Old 05-24-2019, 08:24 AM
 
1,550 posts, read 401,594 times
Reputation: 2896
Quote:
Originally Posted by gt87 View Post
If it was just a one time thing and there are no hard feeling I would just brush it off. Maybe that person was having a very bad day and took it out on you. Not say that is acceptable, because it isn't. If it happens again then I would address it with them 1 on 1. If that doesn't work then go to your boss.
If someone were having a bad day, the professional thing to do is make an apology and then another apology to the team who was at the meeting.
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Old 05-24-2019, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,024 posts, read 21,739,781 times
Reputation: 22201
No one should have to deal with being treated in that manner. You'll know your manager better than we do and how they would receive the information.

In a situation like you suggested first speak to the co-worker and deal with it yourself. If it happens again, bring it to your managers attention. No one should have to deal with being treated poorly.
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Old 05-24-2019, 10:15 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,062 posts, read 12,832,449 times
Reputation: 31361
Her behavior was very unprofessional.

However, I would be so ashamed to be called lazy that I would take it to heart and be less lazy, but that's just me - lazy people often feel entitled - and get away with it. I'd be pissed, too.
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Old 05-24-2019, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Washington
45 posts, read 13,796 times
Reputation: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by rummage View Post
No, this is completely wrong. Even before I was in charge of a group, if I seriously want to offer constructive feedback to someone, I did it privately, not at a meeting in front of others. That's simply unprofessional.
No?? What are you saying no to?? I didn't address it from that persons perspective because that person is not the OP here asking for help.
Quote:
You can't explain away that this person was doing the OP and the team a favor.
Huh? I never did. Again, I didn't even hit it from the opposite direction but from the Op's personal experience.
Quote:
This isn't sports with meathead coaches yelling at people, they are running a business, they have real work to do. There is professional and unprofessional conduct. This was unprofessional conduct, pure and simple.
Wow, this makes no sense in regards to the issue. Of course they all have work to do and if one feels the other isn't pulling their weight, that is the topic which needs to be addressed. We address the topic raised here, nothing more.
I always find it interesting when someone makes an observation to another co-worker they don't like , instead of addressing that issue...they point the finger right back to deflect. The observation of my work ability being sub-par should concern me as an employee and fellow co-worker. I'd ask for specifics of what I am doing that seems lazy. Instead, the issue was completely ignored. That is a RED FLAG to me. Here is my post again, hopefully you will actually read it this time. I asked the obvious, but uncomfortable questions, since we have no choice but to address the exact issue which reared it's head for either a good reason, or not so good. Here is my response again

"Hate to be Captain Obvious here but are you lazy?
If so, then you have no right to take offense at her accurate observation of you.
Actually HEAR her words

She may have called attention to your flaws so don't go further calling more attention to yourself
Unless you want to be fired
Pull your own weight at work

Then no one will become frustrated with you calling you "lazy"

Last edited by SemiRetiredAt60; 05-24-2019 at 10:37 AM..
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Old 05-24-2019, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Washington
45 posts, read 13,796 times
Reputation: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by MassVt View Post
Do you know for a fact that she was lazy? If you don't , then I suggest that you stop making insinuations.
Her co worker let her know she is not doing her job, being lazy. That's what the OP says. This is the problem that needs addressed. This is the issue her co-worker has with her which needs to be rectified. This the first question to the op is, are you lazy?

Generally people will not tell someone they are lazy if it isn't true. That's an indicator as a employee, to correct yourself thus correcting the problem. Being lazy isn't just annoying, it is a form of theft when you accept money in exchange for a job you just aren't doing up to basic standards. If I am lazy, I should thank my lucky stars she told me privately and didn't go to the boss. And in exchange, show that same respect by inquiring further of what I am doing which appears lazy. Am I not as productive, am I taking longer lunches, what am I doing? Or

If I am lazy, I just say "Thank you" for letting me know in private and maybe even apologize to them. Re-assure them I will do more work than necessary from then on out. I will be more professional from here on out.


.

Last edited by SemiRetiredAt60; 05-24-2019 at 11:03 AM..
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Old 05-24-2019, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Podunk, IA
4,015 posts, read 1,812,469 times
Reputation: 4289
I had someone blow up at me at work once and I just said "Don't you holler at me!!"
That worked.

Myself and my boss were in a meeting and actually had this goof call us *******s in front of everyone.
We looked at each other and then we both laughed at him.
Guy wasn't there much longer after that. He must've called the wrong guy an *******.

Work can be fun sometimes.
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