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Old 05-22-2019, 07:45 PM
 
497 posts, read 675,036 times
Reputation: 347

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I will avoid the specifics but in the meeting my co-worker was very condescending and called me lazy. I stayed calm tried to get my points across but she was very argumentative and didnt listen to me. She was very unprofessional. Anyway I am thinking of going to my boss and explaining what happened calmly and asking for advice. I will say i still like my coworker, want to work with her, but I am confused by the criticism. Does she have advise. Is this a smart strategy? Boss will ask what had I done to address the issue with worker and I will say I tried to talk to her for an hour and she was combative.

I am afraid I will look as a complainer
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:50 PM
 
17,272 posts, read 10,194,544 times
Reputation: 28792
How to Deal With Insults & Humiliation From a Co-Worker

How to Deal With Insults at Work
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Old 05-22-2019, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Bellevue WA
1,203 posts, read 355,757 times
Reputation: 1365
Don't turn her in. Your other co-workers might rally against you for being ultra sensitive and a tattletale. She might be trying to formulate an apology just as you're turning her in; how would that make you look and feel?
Look to the future, not to a past incident. Let it go and be above it. I believe the reward is in being the bigger person.
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Old 05-23-2019, 09:41 AM
 
1,091 posts, read 628,570 times
Reputation: 1970
They haven't met your standards of professionalism and therefore I would speak to your boss and raise your concerns about their argumentative and difficult behavior even if it is simply a talk about it. Perhaps you could be failing in an aspect and need to improve. However their actions may be out of line. If you want to know, ask them who's right or wrong, it's their job to deal with that.
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Old 05-23-2019, 09:45 AM
 
5,340 posts, read 5,302,061 times
Reputation: 12489
I would. Letting your boss know what is happening is important IMO. They don't need to take it further and the OP can let her boss know what happened (from her perspective) without the need to escalate or have the boss speak to the coworker about it.
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Old 05-23-2019, 09:53 AM
 
2,082 posts, read 1,856,920 times
Reputation: 2680
I would definitely report this.
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Old 05-23-2019, 10:17 AM
 
Location: HoCo, MD
4,348 posts, read 7,989,318 times
Reputation: 4756
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013 View Post
I will avoid the specifics but in the meeting my co-worker was very condescending and called me lazy. I stayed calm tried to get my points across but she was very argumentative and didnt listen to me. She was very unprofessional. Anyway I am thinking of going to my boss and explaining what happened calmly and asking for advice. I will say i still like my coworker, want to work with her, but I am confused by the criticism. Does she have advise. Is this a smart strategy? Boss will ask what had I done to address the issue with worker and I will say I tried to talk to her for an hour and she was combative.

I am afraid I will look as a complainer
What's the end goal here? Why would you need to bring this to your manager? And what do you expect your manager to do? Shouldn't you try and deal with this first? Have you talked to the other person about this? Debate/arguments happen all the time... not sure why two adults need to drag a third one into this.
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Old 05-23-2019, 10:20 AM
 
Location: In a vehicle.
5,029 posts, read 3,214,692 times
Reputation: 8217
There's two thoughts. She blew up.... Means she was harboring resentment against you from earlier. Something you did previously has irritated her...or something she expected you to do, didn't get done.

For every action, there is a reaction.... She called you lazy, did she say why she called you that? Or did she say why?
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Old 05-23-2019, 10:27 AM
 
1,550 posts, read 401,594 times
Reputation: 2896
Quote:
Originally Posted by macroy View Post
What's the end goal here? Why would you need to bring this to your manager? And what do you expect your manager to do? Shouldn't you try and deal with this first? Have you talked to the other person about this? Debate/arguments happen all the time... not sure why two adults need to drag a third one into this.
Because this is a company, a place of business, not a school yard.

It is important to take care of these things immediately. If you allow yourself to be treated poorly, others will do the same and you will quickly get the reputation for what they said about you is true, even if it isn't. There is a degree of professionalism in the work place, and it isn't up to others to "manage" you. If your supervisor has an issue, they will talk with you one-on-one.

It is up to management to deal with someone acting unprofessionally, not the OP. So they would deal with this person.
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Old 05-23-2019, 10:32 AM
 
1,550 posts, read 401,594 times
Reputation: 2896
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013 View Post
I will avoid the specifics but in the meeting my co-worker was very condescending and called me lazy. I stayed calm tried to get my points across but she was very argumentative and didnt listen to me. She was very unprofessional. Anyway I am thinking of going to my boss and explaining what happened calmly and asking for advice. I will say i still like my coworker, want to work with her, but I am confused by the criticism. Does she have advise. Is this a smart strategy? Boss will ask what had I done to address the issue with worker and I will say I tried to talk to her for an hour and she was combative.

I am afraid I will look as a complainer
You aren't a complainer. You work in a company, a place of business, and this person acted unprofessionally. If your supervisor wasn't there to see this, you need to talk with your supervisor immediately before someone else defines their version of what took place.

The co-worker was out of line and it should let management know about it. Unprofessional behavior like this hurts more than you, and it hurts the group you are in and this isn't something any employer wants.

Also, be fully prepared that this co-worker already did a CYA move and spoke to your supervisor to complain about you. You need to do this immediately because you don't want a one-sided story against you presented to your supervisor. If you remain silent about this, you are giving your approval on what this co-worker said and establishing how you should be treated. Act now.
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