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Old 06-03-2019, 07:05 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,511 posts, read 14,350,116 times
Reputation: 23384

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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I have also worked with women who use this excuse for being a subpar co-worker. And it's why I don't support equal pay for all women across the board. Mothers just don't focus on their professional life as well as male co-workers and childless female co-workers. And then there is the aspect of how young unmarried women spent too much time on their looks and freshening their makeup at work, as if their future husband might be there (male co-workers, delivery men). And they also think that the more attractive they are, their male co-workers will do them extra work favours.
Wow, just wow!So you've never come across guys that slack off? You must lead a charmed life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BobNJ1960 View Post
No one should be cut any slack, whether they have 1, 2,3, ten, or 0 kids.
Its a job. Do it, or its up to the business to replace you with someone who can.
I don't disagree with that. However I do feel like a lot more jobs could work with flexible schedules but they don't, for no discernible reason other than 'that's the way we do things'. I flexed my bookkeeping job, but only because my direct manager was willing to accommodate me, and I know he caught grief over it from managers in other locations, even though it didn't impact anything or anyone else.
OP doesn't have much to base his opinion that she's a slacker on, other than she spends time on the phone checking on her kids sometimes. I don't think that's a lot to go unless he knows for a fact what her arrangement might be with her supervisors.
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Old 06-03-2019, 07:11 AM
 
917 posts, read 234,278 times
Reputation: 2089
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I have also worked with women who use this excuse for being a subpar co-worker. And it's why I don't support equal pay for all women across the board. Mothers just don't focus on their professional life as well as male co-workers and childless female co-workers. And then there is the aspect of how young unmarried women spent too much time on their looks and freshening their makeup at work, as if their future husband might be there (male co-workers, delivery men). And they also think that the more attractive they are, their male co-workers will do them extra work favours.
Well, since we're running anecdotes as data and all:

At my job, by and large, the women are the overall better workers. The guys generally spend way too much time talking about fantasy football. But, then again, I don't turn that into a sweeping sociological statement .
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Old 06-03-2019, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,903 posts, read 5,246,825 times
Reputation: 14605
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
She might be lazy, or she might be legit. Three kids give someone plenty of opportunities to have things come up last minute, things they need to take care of. It's not any worse than the singles who are always coming in late or calling off because they're hungover or have big weekend plans is it? At any rate if she's entitled to take the time off it's not your place to question why or how she takes that time off. You prefer to save yours, she finds she needs or wants to use hers.
(If working men took on more of the childcare responsibilities I think you'd hear the "I have kids" excuse more often from them too.)
^^This. Yeah, my work life and mom life sometimes collide; that is inevitable with "only" 3 school-age children. Thankfully, my supervisor has been in my shoes, so she gets it. She is also understanding because, in spite of living the furthest away and having other people to get to off to school everyday, I am still the first one there in the morning. But, then again, I am fortunate to work in an environment where we are treated like people, not robots.
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Old 06-03-2019, 08:11 AM
 
5,920 posts, read 6,731,275 times
Reputation: 15274
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Is he their primary caregiver, how old are they compared to the other woman's kids, do parents have family or friends to help out when things come up last minute, etc. I'm betting there's a lot you don't know about the differences in their situations.

Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Does it matter why she's late or absent? Either it's acceptable or it's not. The "why" doesn't matter.

Answer


Don't care about your personal or family life. You know what your job entails. You know what you get paid for doing the job. Don't wish to do the job? No problem. You don't get paid any longer (as in, you get canned).


Sure, we all have the occasional emergency. That is more than acceptable and the employer provides for it with PTO. If you start to abuse the policy, dump on your boss and co-workers, it becomes an issue for which you get warned. Three warnings and you say bye, bye.


Sorry. I oversee a hundred people. No time to baby sit your problems.
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Old 06-03-2019, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,754 posts, read 26,805,354 times
Reputation: 20403
My wife and I have 6 kids. Both of us work at the same place. We always chose to work opposite shifts though. Never had to worry about a babysitter or paying child care costs which in our area are on the low end $120 a week per kid. My wife is in Nursing and works the 7pm till 7am shift. She works 3 regular shifts and also pulls a forth shift each week. I work Monday - Friday 8am till 4:30pm but routinely work additional hours and sometimes weekends. Sometimes during the past 20 or so years I have worked nights and she days.

I have always made arrangements if one of the kids was sick. I make sure that they have breakfast and are ready for school on mornings when my wife is working.

As the kids have gotten older this has all become much easier. In fact we only have 4 left at home. One of those four will be attending the local university and another graduates from high school in a couple weeks and will be going to college in the fall. One more will be in his second year of high school and our youngest will be going to 8th grade. That being said, I remember the times when the kids were young.

As parents we make time for the kids, but also realize the responsibility that we have to the employer. I have never understood people getting to work late. I can get a once in a while thing, but to make a habit of coming in late or taking time off for the kids. If this were an every week occurrence I would start to think that the employee is not a good fit for the job.
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Old 06-03-2019, 09:02 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,511 posts, read 14,350,116 times
Reputation: 23384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
Question




Answer


Don't care about your personal or family life. You know what your job entails. You know what you get paid for doing the job. Don't wish to do the job? No problem. You don't get paid any longer (as in, you get canned).


Sure, we all have the occasional emergency. That is more than acceptable and the employer provides for it with PTO. If you start to abuse the policy, dump on your boss and co-workers, it becomes an issue for which you get warned. Three warnings and you say bye, bye.


Sorry. I oversee a hundred people. No time to baby sit your problems.
Except, we don't know if this is emergencies or planned PTO in this particular case. OP is just guessing as he's not in a position to know what her supervisors may or may not have agreed to. I mean there may be some dingbat somewhere that forgets she has to take a kid to soccer practice and it becomes an 'emergency', but for most of us that's a known, and we get permission to leave early ahead of time. Regardless of what our coworkers might speculate about it.
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Old 06-03-2019, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Rochester NY
1,257 posts, read 828,157 times
Reputation: 2019
If she has the PTO and that's how she chooses to use it than that's her choice. However, if she's always coming in late that would not fly, as least not at my job. She chose to have kids and work a job. Gotta make it work.
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Old 06-03-2019, 09:53 AM
 
731 posts, read 486,553 times
Reputation: 1887
Butt out. That's my advice. It's not your problem to deal with.
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Old 06-03-2019, 10:27 AM
 
68 posts, read 11,489 times
Reputation: 75
From my own experience, it's mind boggling how much can go wrong with kids.

I only have one and I missed or was late ALL THE TIME. It really depends on the family situation. I am a single mother and while I was working, my ex husband refused to step in for any of our child's emergencies, appointments, etc. If my daughter was sick, I stayed home. The daycare did not allow a child with a fever onto the premises. It had to be clear without medication. If she had an emergency, I picked her up. He refused saying that his work was too important. If she had an appointment, I did those too. Unfortunately, all my family has passed or live very far so there was no one else to call. As soon as we seperated, I couldn't do overtime anymore, I couldn't even stay a half hour later. The daycare closing time (6:00 pm) and the distance to my house made it impossible.

The company I worked for decided to sell. The owner was wonderful, just getting too old. So we had our jobs for a year and that was the end.

My ex husband moved back to the US and there went any support I had. I took a year course, but I've decided to wait until my daughter is older to start back at work. She starts high school next year (12 years old).
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Old 06-03-2019, 12:28 PM
 
20,806 posts, read 13,806,020 times
Reputation: 14485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfer Guy View Post
There's a woman I work with now who comes in late at least once a week, running later on the days when the boss isn't around of course (half an hour to one hour on some days), and whenever she gets new leave time at the beginning of each month, she will take all of it within that month. I worked on a project with her recently as a quasi-supervisor but I'm not really her boss, and I asked her why she was out so much. Her response was "I have kids. You're single, so that is why you can save your leave."

All of her kids are in school and she only has three. The excuses are always along the lines of "Robert missed the bus this morning, so I'm running late", "John has soccer practice this afternoon so I need to take off," etc.

This same woman also chats on her phone for much of the day and has tried to pawn off her work on me. I think she's just lazy, but I have encountered the "I have kids" excuse from other women at jobs in the past.

Mod cut.

Over years have had to cover for various females who were out or late due to child/maternity issues. If it doesn't go on to long never really minded. However if it does and or someone starts to rub my nose in it, that is when a foot is put down. Either pay me more for doing the work of two persons or I'm walking. You can't just let people walk all over you, otherwise it becomes an ingrained habit that is hard to break.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-03-2019 at 10:00 PM.. Reason: Bashing; trolling.
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