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Old 06-14-2019, 02:23 PM
 
7,970 posts, read 9,741,607 times
Reputation: 14033

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty_nina1 View Post
I will post an unpopular opinion. I say call in sick, meet your daughter and spend a day together, however not in the close proximity to your workplace. Don't tell anybody at work about your family or who is flying when or where. The less they know the better. If it is Friday you are taking as a sick day, then avoid talking about it on Monday. If asked how your weekend went just say "fine".

In other words, lying is the best policy. That will get you far in life.
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Old 06-14-2019, 02:48 PM
 
Location: DFW
580 posts, read 165,689 times
Reputation: 923
Quote:
Originally Posted by MurphyPl1 View Post
"All my doctors are 40 minute drive from here on "my side of town" so cannot just take a lunch to do them either."

You're in DFW where there are plenty of doctors closer to your side of town. I can't imagine blowing off my health rather than just finding closer doctors.
That's been my plan for a while now. It's always so much trouble- have to sign to get your records moved, fill out all the new stuff, blah blah whine whine, I know.
And it makes me sad and angry: My ObGyn delivered both of my girls, and now I am leaving her after 22 years just because of some stupid rule handcuffing me to my desk like a prisoner even when my job is done well into the future.
I am such a rule-follower about most things that I actually get on the nerves of my hubby and friends. But when the rules are so asinine and rigid for no reason, what am I to do? I have tried every possible option from trading days, to giving up pay, to working different hours. I would never have posted here, knowing the shade I'd get, if I had not tried everything possible.
The thing is, he is actually a very nice man, easy to work for (except this one thing) and it's an easy job (note how many posts I have in one day, and that is between shopping online). My last job was awful. I was treated badly, lied about, called names, thrown around like trash, and the work itself was over the top hard. But I got time off and work/life balance. I would take that back if I could (they closed their doors).
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Old 06-14-2019, 04:01 PM
 
Location: ATL -> HOU -> DAL
4,397 posts, read 3,573,752 times
Reputation: 3491
I feel lucky. I just started in January and at the very low end, I get 20 days PTO so 4 weeks. Doesn't include 9 holidays (8 fixed, one floating). We don't have sick days so it comes out of PTO, but there's plenty to go around. I also don't get sick much.

By 10 years with the company it's a tick above 5 weeks. 25+ years is 6 weeks. I think there's also bereavement PTO provided separately.

I'd look for a new place to work myself.
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Old 06-14-2019, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Florida
22,415 posts, read 9,526,701 times
Reputation: 18290
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarshaBrady1968 View Post
My employer gives 10 days vacation and 5 days sick leave. This was presented at interview. I assumed "no problem- 3 weeks vacation/time off should be fine"

Come to find out, the expectation is that the sick days are sick days period. I never get sick. I tried to negotiate the sick days, even asking if I could give 2 to get 1 vacation back, always no. Every idea I come up with is shot down.

I lamented to my friends/family who said "call in sick, problem solved". The thing is lying makes me sssoo uncomfortable and anxious. I feel like he just KNOWS. I also feel like (crazy I know) karma will get me and I will actually get sick/hurt/whatever because I lied.

Further, the culture here is to just never take time off.

It is June and I am already almost out of time. My daughter is flying in for her 21st birthday next week, and I already plan to call in sick that day so I can spend her very important birthday with her, and I am a nervous wreck about it. I will also need to call in sick on a Monday around my wedding anniversary so my hubby and I can have a weekend getaway for that.

I have been here just over 2 years, but being a small company, there is no yearly review, no yearly salary changes, not really any discussion and interaction of any kind. I figured when I first found out about the time off thing a couple of years ago, I would negotiate that in my review, but lo and behold, it's not a "thing" around here.

What would you do??
Don't look at calling in sick as lying. Look at it as mental health days--I don't care what anyone says--you need them. Your only problem will be if you actually get sick and need those days. Wait until it is close to the end of the year.
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Old 06-14-2019, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Florida
22,415 posts, read 9,526,701 times
Reputation: 18290
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
In other words, lying is the best policy. That will get you far in life.
It is all relative. I don't think calling in sick can be compared to say--perjury. Or lying to your spouse. I think that is being a little radical.
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Old 06-14-2019, 04:25 PM
 
360 posts, read 238,881 times
Reputation: 690
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabanana123 View Post
Not encouraging lying - it depends on how you define mental health. I get a lump sum that can be used for any kind of day off including holidays so I donít have to lie. However if I was in this personís shoes I might. I have never had a separate sick bucket.
Mental health is covered under the ADA and FMLA, if "mental health" were at play the time off would be protected and allowed. Taking a day because you just don't want to go to work is not "mental health". Now let's say your cat died and you were so sorrowful and sick about it then that is different story and would fall under a legitimate use of sick time. From my experience, when I have heard the term "mental health day" it has been referred to as a "perk" with a wink wink. So in your case, if you have carte blanche usage of time off for whatever reason, then the reason for the absence is moot. But encouraging people without carte blanche usage to use a wink wink a "mental health day" for something that is meant specifically for illness is encouraging a lie.

Lies and abuses are what employers start cracking down on when they get out of control.
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Old 06-14-2019, 06:41 PM
 
178 posts, read 72,564 times
Reputation: 247
There used to be something called "personal day". What happened to those?
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Old 06-15-2019, 06:28 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,551 posts, read 14,367,639 times
Reputation: 23458
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty_nina1 View Post
There used to be something called "personal day". What happened to those?
If your employer falls into the sick/vacation camp as opposed to the PTO camp, your personal days come out of your vacation time or holiday pay. Sick is for personal illness or visits to a healthcare professional. We had one personal day/ company anniversary day and it was considered holiday pay.
What would I do...
OP I feel for your situation, but if it were me I couldn't deal with calling sick for anything other than being sick. I am a rule follower and doing that would eat at my conscience. I'm fortunate that most of my employers have always been flexible about letting me take time off, unpaid if necessary.
So I say that since you knew how much vacation time you had you should stick with that and cut the anniversary trip day off, or see if daughter can change her ticket and celebrate over a weekend, etc. It isn't ideal, but it would be what I'd do just so I wouldn't have to deal with lying to my boss.
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Old 06-15-2019, 09:17 AM
 
1,444 posts, read 825,849 times
Reputation: 2203
Him, his wife, 2 sons, a son-wife, and 2 ladies.

Sounds like you're working for a pride you'll never be a part of.

That ...sucks!

I'd find a different job if I were you. If a job don't give you the option to to take unpaid days off (with adequate notice), find something else.

Like, I got an appointment July 15th. I told my manager. It's cool. Last job I had, which I left after 13 miserable months, we had 5 TOTAL, NON-CONSECUTIVE, days off. Never again.
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Old 06-16-2019, 06:50 AM
 
16 posts, read 3,970 times
Reputation: 38
Have you tried just talking to your manager? Why would such a request have to be tied to an annual review? Just have a conversation with them. If you've proven yourself, they won't fire you for asking if some accommodation can be made for a specific event. If they do, or are completely inflexible, perhaps it's not the right place for you (or anyone with a life).
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