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Old 06-18-2019, 07:49 AM
 
1,402 posts, read 769,765 times
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I'm an accountant/cpa.. I've been looking for a new job for a while now. I'm super picky because I don't have a real need to leave my current job, but at the same time I'm kind of looking for the next step up (if that makes sense).... basically, I would only leave for the right opportunity.... everything would really need to be in line with what I want.

Anyway, a recruiter contacted me with a position that sounds really good and checks a lot of my boxes.... but here's the thing, I have a few personal things going on that I feel like are making me doubt whether it's the right time to change jobs... like for example, my brother and his wife just had a baby and they live 5 hours away and I was planning on visiting them to meet the baby in August for a long weekend, so I would need a day off... I also may need to have surgery on my nose for my deviated septum because I can't breathe at night (I could post pone this for a year though)... I was also going to have another medical procedure for something.... another thing is my boyfriend's brother died about a year and a half ago and I'm still dealing with a lot with that with his family and visiting them and whatnot... I also quit drinking caffeine since it was giving me a lot of anxiety issues and that really impacts my work (i can do my current job with my eyes closed, but a new job would obviously require more work).

I guess it kind of sounds silly when I type it out now... seems like all things I can work around. and most I can postpone... The biggest thing for me was meeting my niece, family is important and I don't want to wait until she is 1 year old, or more, to meet her...

I have some anxiety issues and starting a new job and making a big change requires a lot of mental effort for me... meeting new people, learning new software, learning the ins and outs of the company... it just takes a lot from me mentally, probably more than the average person. In a perfect world, I would have absolutely NOTHING personal going on when changing jobs.


And I know it's bad to take a day off within the first like 6 months of starting a new job too.

I can't tell if I'm making excuses because I'm scared of taking a new job or if I really feel like I have a lot going on personally and maybe it's just not the best time to make a change (but I do find myself talking myself out of new opportunities the past year or so).


Thanks for any thoughts you guys could offer.
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Old 06-18-2019, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,579 posts, read 17,561,360 times
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A single day off shouldn't be an issue.

To me, it sounds like these things aren't big enough to warrant not exploring opportunities, but only you can be the judge of that.
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Old 06-18-2019, 08:36 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,071 posts, read 8,368,206 times
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I started a new job right before I got married. I needed multiple days off for the wedding and then over a week later the next month for the honeymoon. They wanted to hire me, I was up front with them about the time I needed, and it was no big deal. Any job that wouldn't be okay with me needing a few days off to meet a new niece or nephew wouldn't be a place I wanted to work. It's unreasonable to expect someone not to take any days off for six months when starting a new job IMO. I'm sure if you let them know about the day day up front it would be fine, and like I said if it isn't maybe it isn't a very good place to work.
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Old 06-18-2019, 08:45 AM
 
1,402 posts, read 769,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
A single day off shouldn't be an issue.

To me, it sounds like these things aren't big enough to warrant not exploring opportunities, but only you can be the judge of that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I started a new job right before I got married. I needed multiple days off for the wedding and then over a week later the next month for the honeymoon. They wanted to hire me, I was up front with them about the time I needed, and it was no big deal. Any job that wouldn't be okay with me needing a few days off to meet a new niece or nephew wouldn't be a place I wanted to work. It's unreasonable to expect someone not to take any days off for six months when starting a new job IMO. I'm sure if you let them know about the day day up front it would be fine, and like I said if it isn't maybe it isn't a very good place to work.

Ok, that's good to know. I have this idea in my head that I need to be the PERFECT employee for a certain amount of time at a new job... i don't why, i'm just placing extreme expectations on myself.



I'm also working with a recruiter so maybe I could tell him too about wanting a day for that and it can just be worked into the offer.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:28 AM
 
2,067 posts, read 598,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235 View Post
Ok, that's good to know. I have this idea in my head that I need to be the PERFECT employee for a certain amount of time at a new job... i don't why, i'm just placing extreme expectations on myself.



I'm also working with a recruiter so maybe I could tell him too about wanting a day for that and it can just be worked into the offer.
I'm in a similar boat. I feel like with a new job I am expected to put my entire life on hold to tap dance around new management and skate on a thin layer of ice. It is a song and dance that I am very tired of. I feel like for the first year and a half of this job I'm in now I've had to power through a lot of BS and go the extra mile. It is a high psychological toll and puts strain on family and friend relationships because you are too tired after working mentally to talk or do anything else.

We're all in a catch 22 of needing to move on at some point before things go sour (they almost always do) but are tired of constantly having to sacrifice your personal life energy for this corporate BS. I have not seen my nephew much either because I just don't have the mental energy to travel potentially 2.5 hours on public transportation one way. My BP is finally coming down and I don't want to add unessential stress dealing with psychotics on the train and bus. My Dad drives and is retired but there is no parking in our area.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:32 AM
 
2,067 posts, read 598,252 times
Reputation: 2923
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I started a new job right before I got married. I needed multiple days off for the wedding and then over a week later the next month for the honeymoon. They wanted to hire me, I was up front with them about the time I needed, and it was no big deal. Any job that wouldn't be okay with me needing a few days off to meet a new niece or nephew wouldn't be a place I wanted to work. It's unreasonable to expect someone not to take any days off for six months when starting a new job IMO. I'm sure if you let them know about the day day up front it would be fine, and like I said if it isn't maybe it isn't a very good place to work.
Yeah I feel sorry for a lot of posters who evidently live in States where you have to be army punctual and have perfect attendance for an arbitrary amount of time and deal with 90 day probation periods.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:35 AM
 
1,402 posts, read 769,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tencent View Post
I'm in a similar boat. I feel like with a new job I am expected to put my entire life on hold to tap dance around new management and skate on a thin layer of ice. It is a song and dance that I am very tired of. I feel like for the first year and a half of this job I'm in now I've had to power through a lot of BS and go the extra mile. It is a high psychological toll and puts strain on family and friend relationships because you are too tired after working mentally to talk or do anything else.

We're all in a catch 22 of needing to move on at some point before things go sour (they almost always do) but are tired of constantly having to sacrifice your personal life energy for this corporate BS. I have not seen my nephew much either because I just don't have the mental energy to travel potentially 2.5 hours on public transportation one way. My BP is finally coming down and I don't want to add unessential stress dealing with psychotics on the train and bus. My Dad drives and is retired but there is no parking in our area.

That is a perfect way to describe what I'm feeling. Like i have all these things going on, that really aren't major at all, but at the same time I feel like it's too much, because like you said - this feeling of having to put my life on hold.


I just couldn't figure out if it was my anxiety acting up or it was a rational feeling, at least i'm not alone lol.


Maybe it will boil down to whether the new position is worth it or not. It's more money, so it may be.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,253 posts, read 41,828,694 times
Reputation: 83075
Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235 View Post

I guess it kind of sounds silly when I type it out now... seems like all things I can work around.
Yes, it is.

You can tell them during the second interview that you have a trip scheduled for XX dates, and it should be no problem. It happens all the time, and employers would rather know in advance anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235 View Post

I can't tell if I'm making excuses because I'm scared of taking a new job …
That's how it reads from here.

It doesn't sound like that much more than most people have going on any given day. You don't HAVE to move, so making a move is a risk you just aren't used to. That's all.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Rochester NY
1,250 posts, read 823,096 times
Reputation: 2006
I would recommend taking care of all your personal stuff before jumping into a new job. One think employers hate is when a new employee comes in with a bunch of personal stuff going on. Unless you tell them everything up front and they are cool with everything.


The last time I made a job change I made sure I had everything possible (vacations, appointments, etc.) all taken care of before I started. In my 1st year I only took a few days off, mainly around the holidays and they really appreciated it. Plus I was able to build up my vacation and sick time which is nice.
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:52 AM
 
1,402 posts, read 769,765 times
Reputation: 1661
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Yes, it is.

You can tell them during the second interview that you have a trip scheduled for XX dates, and it should be no problem. It happens all the time, and employers would rather know in advance anyway.



That's how it reads from here.

It doesn't sound like that much more than most people have going on any given day. You don't HAVE to move, so making a move is a risk you just aren't used to. That's all.

I don't have the trip planned yet, that's the thing, could be August, could be September.. it's up to when my brother feels comfortable having us over..


Ok good to know it sounds like an overreaction from an outsider, that's what i wanted to know.
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