live with parents save money or find a job here and be independent?

[FeistyCar7]

I currently live far away for school. I am graduating soon and need to figure out my next plan. My parents live alone on the west coast. All of my siblings moved out so they tell me to move in with them where I can get free food, free housing, and basically not have to worry about anything. Just work and save money. I don't have a lot of loans to begin with.

Other choice is live on my own on the east coast (where I currently live) and be independent. I will be a registered nurse so decent money. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I am 28 years old will have a decent job. I know the smart thing to do financially is live with my parents. I can save so much money because the state they live in nurses get paid better and I can live a comfort free lifestyle and retire early. Or I can try to make it on my own here which is multiple states away. I tend to be frugal person and the thought of just being able to save a lot of money and retire young would be great. However, it comes at an expense. My parents are chill people, but when I think about how my life was back where I used to live it was really boring. The pro is that they live in a populated city and my income would be a lot higher there as opposed to living out where I live right now.


Anyone who has taken either paths? how did it work out for you? It seems like choosing saving money vs choosing independence. one path i can save money spend time with my aging parents and nephews or be independent with feeling lonely at times and build my own life.

[Citykid3785]

A couple of questions to further the discussion.

Where do you want to be (in life, not physically necessarily) in 5 year?
Where do you have more friends
I'm assuming your single? What's your desire to find/meet your future spouse

To me, this question is less about moving in with parents and more about moving across country, which is a big task for anyone.

There's a saying, "you can never move back home," implying that while you can move back home, things change and it will never be exactly the way you remember it.

To me, I would try and think less financially, and more about which locale you want to put roots down in. If you met your spouse, would you rather start a family on the East or West Coast? I think you'll make it either way financially, and there are too many unknowns (spouse, kids, future housing situation) for you to assume that over a 5 year period one area will net you more money.

[FeistyCar7]

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

A couple of questions to further the discussion.

Where do you want to be (in life, not physically necessarily) in 5 year?
i would like a long term relationship and or have kids by that time
Where do you have more friends
honestly most of my friends are scattered around the USA so I don't have a lot of friends in either location to be honest
I'm assuming your single? What's your desire to find/meet your future spouse
Would like to find future spouse soon

To me, this question is less about moving in with parents and more about moving across country, which is a big task for anyone.

There's a saying, "you can never move back home," implying that while you can move back home, things change and it will never be exactly the way you remember it.

yeah moving back home wont be the same at all. All my friends are gone. I do have a lot of family there. But my relatives annoy me.

To me, I would try and think less financially, and more about which locale you want to put roots down in. If you met your spouse, would you rather start a family on the East or West Coast?
I would like to start a family in the west coast.


I think you'll make it either way financially, and there are too many unknowns (spouse, kids, future housing situation) for you to assume that over a 5 year period one area will net you more money.

1) I would like to be in a long term relationship or have kids by that time

[MidValleyDad]

Besides the points already raised about your long term desires, what do your parents think about this? Are they still independent or do your siblings want you to move back with them to relieve them from worrying about caring for your parents?

[keraT]

1. Are you close to your family?
2. Do you like the city/state you grew up in?
3. would you want to raise your kids there? & maybe meet a guy from that area so you are not splitting your vacation to visit family.
4. what are some things you like to do that you feel you won't be able to do if you live with your parents?
5. Aside from saving money, what about taking more vacation because you live with your parents or going out more because you have more discretionary income?

Would it be better for you to get a small place in west coast so your close to your family but have a place of your own. As someone else said, its more about do you want to live in west coast or east cost & less about living with parents.


I stayed with my parents because of my culture (immigrant family) plus my parents weren't very well off. So I took over their mortgage payment while they covered all other living expense for me (food, utility..etc). It worked out because of our culture but also I felt good about helping my parents during recession when they surely would have lost their house had I not pitched in. But after few years when they kept pressuring me to settle down with anyone, our relationship got ugly. I stayed out of home as much as possible, started my master program just so I won't have to spent time with my parents. I have many friends who took a year off from medical school or grad school & stayed with their parents and hated it. It is not the same after living away but it is an adjustment & can be done easily for few years but not long term. Enough to save money for down payment on a house

[Tencent]

What is the job outlook for Nurses in your parents area vs. the top 5 east coast cities for Nurses?

Are you Male or Female?

Where are you obtaining practical experience, and have you completed any necessary post-grad certs to begin working as a Nurse? This depends on the State you want to work in.

My best advice is determine if the State your parents live in has a better job market for Nurses vs. the State you are currently in or next to.

[tnff]

It's not a binary option. Just considering the United States alone, there are 50 possible states to move to. Hundreds/thousands of cities and towns where nurses can get jobs in those 50 states.

Find a job in any of those thousand places and move there. Maybe you'll love and stay forever. Maybe you'll do a couple of years and move on.

However, even if your move back to the city/town where your parents are to get a job DO NOT move in with them. Your most important role at 28 years old is to be an independent adult.

[Prickly Pear]

I’m having a hard time understanding why any two parents would practically be begging their adult kids to move back in with them. You studied nursing so maybe they are factoring that in and want you to take care of them. And maybe they are being selfish in the sense that all your siblings are on the east coast and want family close to them, without them making the sacrifice and moving closer. Have they asked any of your siblings, why would they ask you in particular? Again if you’re the only one who studied healthcare... if you have to take care of them that’s going to be affecting your personal life (only so much time during the day especially with 12 hour shifts right?), and you need to be factoring this into your decision making.

Also I can’t imagine your social and love life surviving if you move back in with your parents. Once you graduate college you are essentially expected to live with roommates if not able to live by yourself.

Live near them, not with them.

[jghorton]

At 28, with a degree and an ability to make a decent salary and live independently, the question is, "What are you doing with YOUR life?" Can you truly be your own person and an adult, while being supported by your parents? It's time to grow-up and move out on your own. Find a job, get married, have kids ... be an adult!

[Matthew_MI]

Nurses can make 6 figures these days, or at least close to it. No reason you can’t live comfortably and independently on that salary. You can move anywhere being an RN. If you want to save money get a roommate or find a spouse willing to work.