Thoughts on being asked to give money for gifts to co-workers (job, pay)
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where i work, it is policy that any donations of cash are "voluntary."
there are also policies in place that do not allow employees to accept gifts over a certain $ amount in the workplace .
my own personal policy is to not give donations to anyone who makes more money than i do.
people who make more can pay more.
what does sit well with me, is when supervisors or leadership pay out of their OWN pockets for parties or meals. that increases morale and productivity.
there was a doctor and researcher at a medical center where i worked who was one of the most gracious people i ever worked with. she published and travelled internationally, and every time she took a trip anywhere (which happened often, several times each year) she brought back gifts, not for everyone but for the people in the office who were the clerks and secretaries. and not crappy gifts either like keychains or mugs. Nice gifts.
unlike another boss i had who made about 4 times what the clerks made, that boss expected the clerks to buy her chocolate on a regular basis "if they wanted a good performance review." she was serious.
i have found that people where i work objected far more to being asked to bring food and dishes for potlucks in the work place (than being asked for $ donations). they were quite vocal about it. we basically said if they want a meal then pay for food and bring it in. many supervisors / leadership started doing this. it worked out well.
At the bank I worked for, we had a woman who was an over sharer. If something was going on in her life we knew about it whether we wanted to or not. But she was genuinely a nice person, and a very good worker.
But a lot of the people in our upper management were extremely sanctimonious, and worried constantly about how it would look to other people and affect the business. (this is after a well known decade of wonderful alcohol and drug fueled parties with great debauchery. So they got to have their fun, but we’re not allowed to have any. )
Well the over sharer got her self knocked up during a one night stand. That she did out of pity. I did say she was an over sharer.
And she wanted to keep the baby, she was thrilled. An upper manager decided to throw her a shower because we all heard over sharer had a four-year-old and didn’t think she was going to have anymore children so she gave away all her baby things. And I really liked the oversharer, so I popped in a good amount of money when the envelope came around. But everybody else? Followed the company line of this was a horrible thing and we should not be approving of it.
Well, the upper manager adored over sharer, used her own money, bought a bunch of other stuff and made a nice little shower for this girl. Hopefully she never knew the truth because that would’ve been just really sad. But that actually was one of the things that made me start taking a stand at that place for other things. Management really overreached a lot there.
If you want to give money then do it, if not, don't. Don't worry about how others look upon you.
Assuming this isn't some every-week type of deal, do you REALLY want to be the one person on your team who doesn't donate $10 for a gift for your boss at his/her wedding? Or not sign the card that goes along with the gift? Or not donate flowers when someone's spouse passes away? As nauseating as it can be at times, this is part of the "game" you must play in Corporate America if you really don't want to be thought of as the anti-social penny pincher at your job.
Assuming this isn't some every-week type of deal, do you REALLY want to be the one person on your team who doesn't donate $10 for a gift for your boss at his/her wedding? Or not sign the card that goes along with the gift? Or not donate flowers when someone's spouse passes away? As nauseating as it can be at times, this is part of the "game" you must play in Corporate America if you really don't want to be thought of as the anti-social penny pincher at your job.
Something else to add to this is that since we've gone remote the way to make these donations is via venmo. I don't use venmo for ANYthing. I have no reason to set up an account then connect my banking details so i can donate $10 to a gift.
I was sent a venmo link to donate last week and I didnt do it. Oh well. Somehow i doubt whoever set this up is taking tabs on who didn't contribute. I guess I could look bad if they did some type of card...but I wasn't send a card link. I also know the person makes more than me...too bad so sad.
Something else to add to this is that since we've gone remote the way to make these donations is via venmo. I don't use venmo for ANYthing. I have no reason to set up an account then connect my banking details so i can donate $10 to a gift.
I was sent a venmo link to donate last week and I didnt do it. Oh well. Somehow i doubt whoever set this up is taking tabs on who didn't contribute. I guess I could look bad if they did some type of card...but I wasn't send a card link. I also know the person makes more than me...too bad so sad.
Well, if you don't have the app to donate then you have a built in excuse. Still, depending on what the donation was for, I may send something on my own if it was appropriate (a card for a death in the family, a birth, etc.) but only if it was for someone I knew well or worked with directly.
Assuming this isn't some every-week type of deal, do you REALLY want to be the one person on your team who doesn't donate $10 for a gift for your boss at his/her wedding? Or not sign the card that goes along with the gift? Or not donate flowers when someone's spouse passes away? As nauseating as it can be at times, this is part of the "game" you must play in Corporate America if you really don't want to be thought of as the anti-social penny pincher at your job.
Sad, but true -- especially now that we're all supposed to be "one big, happy family" and "team players."
I was nearing retirement, however, so I didn't care. I am also naturally impervious to societal pressure.
If we all resisted, it would end, but then that's the case with so many things, and yet we never all resist.
I would usually contribute but it was not that often and I would put in usually nothing more than $5. As far a United Way, we could specify what charities we would donate and I did appreciate that. Since I tithe at my church , I never gave a lot to UW as we also give to other charities on our own.
Obviously there can be exceptions, but the general rule of thumb has always been, gifts can be given DOWN on the hierarchy, but not up.
Probably for the dual reason that the boss makes more money, and no one wants to risk being a brown-noser
Yeah, I found this out when I gave our very generous boss/owner a book on the history of Las Vegas after he had sent us all there for 3 days of debauchery/spas and so forth. I wanted to show my appreciation. I got reprimanded for it! An announcement was made: "No gifts to the boss".
I hated being hit up for gifts for others since we worked seasonally. My birthday was in the off season so I missed out, as did several others. So that was a one-way street.
Assuming this isn't some every-week type of deal, do you REALLY want to be the one person on your team who doesn't donate $10 for a gift for your boss at his/her wedding? Or not sign the card that goes along with the gift? Or not donate flowers when someone's spouse passes away? As nauseating as it can be at times, this is part of the "game" you must play in Corporate America if you really don't want to be thought of as the anti-social penny pincher at your job.
Yeah well $10 is ok. $100 plus every couple of weeks? out of pocket? Not ok.
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Solly says — Be nice!
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