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Old 08-04-2008, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
2,193 posts, read 3,232,158 times
Reputation: 1057

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I get really nervous and stressed out very easily at work. I am always terrified of getting in trouble (even though there's no reason to be scared).
I have a team lead that is intimidating, but even at other jobs where my managers have been very very nice, I still would get frightened if they needed to speak w/ me. Even though 100% of the time it was just a quick simple question or to give work.
I think I get scared with people who are above me or in authority. I dont know how to deal with this. It causes me stress. I feel shaky sometimes, and other times I just want to cry. My heart starts pounding and I get really fearful at times. All over either making phone calls for work or even sending out emails. It's so frustrating dealing w/ these emotions.

Does anyone else go thru this, or have any tips on dealng w/ this?
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Old 08-04-2008, 04:23 PM
Status: "sigh....." (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Jollyville, TX
2,792 posts, read 5,727,539 times
Reputation: 2189
Did you go to Catholic school? - I did and I think I was probably intimidated by authority figures when I first moved into the corporate workplace. Not everyone, but I had a couple of bosses who were pretty intimidating and I would get nervous just talking to them. I finally rationalized that even though they had authority over my work, that didn't mean they had authority over me as a person. I envisioned them as an everyday person I would see on the street and not as the big bad boss. It took some time, but I finally got over it (and ended up being a boss myself!).

I also used to have a terrible time taking criticism. I had one boss who was really trying to help me improve and when he would tell me what I was doing wrong, I would burst out in tears. He said "I know this is uncomfortable for you, but I'm trying to help you". I had to work at being able to take criticism and use it constructively.

I don't have any magic answers for you, but you've recognized the problem, so maybe you're ready to tackle it. Good Luck.
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Old 08-04-2008, 05:19 PM
 
3,761 posts, read 5,559,032 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheenie2000 View Post
I get really nervous and stressed out very easily at work. I am always terrified of getting in trouble (even though there's no reason to be scared).
I have a team lead that is intimidating, but even at other jobs where my managers have been very very nice, I still would get frightened if they needed to speak w/ me. Even though 100% of the time it was just a quick simple question or to give work.
I think I get scared with people who are above me or in authority. I dont know how to deal with this. It causes me stress. I feel shaky sometimes, and other times I just want to cry. My heart starts pounding and I get really fearful at times. All over either making phone calls for work or even sending out emails. It's so frustrating dealing w/ these emotions.

Does anyone else go thru this, or have any tips on dealng w/ this?
All the time! I know exactly what you are feeling. However, as time goes on my confidence builds and it would get a little better. I suffer from anxiety and it sounds like you do, too. Just try to stay calm and tell yourself you are doing fine because you are!
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Old 08-04-2008, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Stanwood, Washington
658 posts, read 172,333 times
Reputation: 172
No I don't go through that because my appearance is intimidating to most people who don't know me. Only little tiny people with large egos try to compensate for being scared by acting like a bully, but that doesn't last long, and they find their place. If you're scared of your boss, and they do it purposefully (you asked them, youre not assuming here), then look at your position and decide now if it's worth it or if your resume needs dusted off.
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Old 08-04-2008, 06:09 PM
 
2,724 posts, read 4,759,732 times
Reputation: 1325
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheenie2000 View Post
I get really nervous and stressed out very easily at work. I am always terrified of getting in trouble (even though there's no reason to be scared).
I have a team lead that is intimidating, but even at other jobs where my managers have been very very nice, I still would get frightened if they needed to speak w/ me. Even though 100% of the time it was just a quick simple question or to give work.
I think I get scared with people who are above me or in authority. I dont know how to deal with this. It causes me stress. I feel shaky sometimes, and other times I just want to cry. My heart starts pounding and I get really fearful at times. All over either making phone calls for work or even sending out emails. It's so frustrating dealing w/ these emotions.

Does anyone else go thru this, or have any tips on dealng w/ this?

I can relate, and a lot of it is a lack of confidence in yourself, and maybe something in your past happened that has scared you when it comes to work related situations. Have you ever talked with anyone about this? That could certainly help.

Sadly, there are people in the work place who take advantage of those who appear weak or fragile, and they feed off of that because they know they are intimidating you. In a perfect world this wouldn't happen, but it does. Keep in mind, nobody that you work for is anymore special or worthy of succeeding than you are, I don't care how much college they might have or how much older they are than you, your feelings and desires are just as important. There are people out there that just won't like you no matter what, you can compliment them every minute and they still will look down on you, remember that it's their problem and not yours.

I hope that you can find some peace with what your going through, it's not something that will go away tomorrow, but if you talk with someone, and try your best to gain more confidence in yourself and trust in your judgment, I think you will make a lot of progress. Best of luck to you.
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Old 08-04-2008, 06:39 PM
 
Location: PA (work in NJ)
6,799 posts, read 8,869,391 times
Reputation: 13503
Why not try some short-term counseling? It sounds like pretty significant anxiety, even if it is just workplace-specific (not happening in the rest of your life).

I have exerienced similar feelings in the past, and I've also worked professionally with many people who have had this kind of problem. And from both sides, I can really say that treatment works.

In therapy you could learn effective anxiety management skills, or if you choose, explore the reasons these feelings are happening. The kind of therapy that focuses on the anxiety management skills (like cognitive behavioral therapy) usually ends up being much more effective than analyzing everything. But it's really a personal decision.

Also, there are antianxiety meds that work very well, and safely. The meds that are widely used today do not "dope you up;" you will still be yourself, just less bothered by stresses. And more than likely you could use a medication for a short period, like less than a year, and the confidence you build up during that time will take over, so that you won't really need the meds any more to manage the stress.

There's no shame in getting treatment. Hell, everyone I know is on, or has been on, some type of anxiety/depression drug, and therapy is now more of a status symbol that something to be embarassed about. Your life can be so much better if you get help.
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Old 08-04-2008, 07:10 PM
 
763 posts, read 1,540,247 times
Reputation: 223
Are you nervous around people in general or just supervisors?
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Old 08-05-2008, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Maryland
1,668 posts, read 5,553,282 times
Reputation: 1487
I think everyone is anxious at some time in their lives. Only a professional could determine the best way to handle your particular situation. You need to take care of this, as I suspect that your boss can see there's a problem when he meets with you, and you probably appear guilty of something. How I handle it... Think of the worst thing they could possibly do, and I wouldn't care, as I would quickly overcome. They need me more than I need them.
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Old 08-05-2008, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Sanford, FL
718 posts, read 2,841,267 times
Reputation: 353
1. Have no bills
2. Join a union
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Midwest
799 posts, read 1,388,940 times
Reputation: 216
I think a lot of this is the economy. The ones who have power and can't handle it anyway are getting worse.
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