When they never invite you out to lunch (pay, money, best)

[artsyguy]

I've done that before.

Originally Posted by mrstewart

Geez, next time they go out and you want something, just say "Hey guys, while you're out, do you mind picking something up for me??" ...

If they do not invite you in, invite yourself in!!

[artsyguy]

Well men can be just as stupid and petty too. It's best not to work with too many folks.

Originally Posted by fierce_flawless

Another reason why working with women sucks. It's like high school all over again.

Yes, I've experienced this, and no, it didn't bother me really. I guess it should have but it fit well with my plan of "I'm here to work, leave me alone"... I remember one co-worker who sat 2 feet from me and would offer candy all around in my direction, skipping me each time. I am nice, courteous, and helpful... but I don't care if some catty female decides she doesn't like me. Nine times out of ten it's because she doesn't like my shoes or my a$$ looks better or something else equally petty and stupid.


I've worked in large offices with way too many people "nearby" to be offering to pick something up for everyone in the vicinity. In those cases I don't offer to pick something up for ANYONE if I know I can't do it for all.

I would say, watch your back. I was the first one let go in an office where all the other women were younger, no kids, and liked to get drunk and high together. Since I wasn't a "joiner" in all that and they needed my spot for a friend of theirs who moved back to town, *I* was the one to let go. Didn't want to mess up their partying buddy thing.

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Well men can be just as stupid and petty too. It's best not to work with too many folks.

I agree with you on that one. Solitude, please!! But I have to say, from my WORK experiences, men are usually more concerned with getting the dam job done and not as concerned with social crap. There are always exceptions though. Last job I had, the female in the office was awesome, no-nonsense, no bs, and they guy was a backstabbing biatch.

[CTR36]

Thanks for the responses.I was at work while I typed this and it had JUST happened again! The deal is that my boss is the "ringleader". She is very childish, she puts people down as a "joke", except for me (well to my face anyway). I kinda let it be known since the start that I am a professional. I don't drink or party on the weekends and I think that is why they think I am a drag. I often hear about their lake weekends where everyone, including my admin, get drunk. Now, I don't want to be invited to THOSE get togethers, and one co-worker does invite me out and vice versa. She goes out to eat with the ringleader's admin too. She's ok though, kinda neutral if you know what I mean. And they see me going out with my admin and this other co-worker too. And no, I don't eat out very often. I bring my lunch sometimes, but sometimes it would be nice to go out with someone. I have noticed that when my boss, the ringleader, is out, they do ask me out to eat. So I guess it's her. That is one of the reasons I am leaving. She has cost my employer hundreds of thousands of dollars because of her childishness but she is still there. She used to flirt all the time with her boss then accused him of sexual harrassment! But that's another thread. I just want to work and come home.
My supervisor also has been accused of sleeping with one of our married officers, I actually saw them sneaking around our office in one of the conference rooms in the dark OH BOY. Anyway, I guess it feels good to me that I am not alone in this. I see that others feel the same way I do...go in do your job and get out.
Maybe I should have been born a man hee hee

[coredneck]

Several years ago, I worked for a manager that was a piece of work. In the program, when someone leaves, there is a go away lunch at someplace nice. The manager I worked for, he inherited the department from the previous manager. The previous manager was pretty cool. When the new manager took over, it was made known to me that I was the top of his "special" list. Special as spelled ****. When I finally found a different position in the company, I got no go away lunch. In fact I found out later that a few people were kind of pissed that they never knew I left especially some of the other managers I worked with and got along as well.

[SXMGirl]

It is truly bothers you that they don't include you, and you really want to be included, then tell them. Then make it a point to ask them if you can pick up lunch for them. I don't get the impression that you want to eat with them--just that they don't ask. Always consider the source. It's a job and you don't go home with those people. Bring great lunches for yourself or arrange to meet a friend at a great restaurant. I work in a department of 8, and rarely do we eat lunch together.

[sunny AZ]

Originally Posted by mrstewart

Geez, next time they go out and you want something, just say "Hey guys, while you're out, do you mind picking something up for me??" ...

If they do not invite you in, invite yourself in!!

Oh, you beat me to it. I was going to say that! Why not try and win them over? Definitely invite yourself. Next time you see them heading out, say "hey can I join you?". And go and make conversation and make some friends! (READ: allies)

This is how you play the game in an office saying. Quite necessary to get along with as many people in the office as possible. And even if you don't like them, still go along at least a handful of times. Keep your enemies close!

[ArkansasTraveler]

Originally Posted by CTR36

Here's the deal. When they never invite you out to lunch

Boo Hoo! try working with a bunch of mixed race Hawaiian men.

VIP Miss P the VP has been working here 11 (eleven) years and has never been ask to lunch with them Japanese, Chinese half/half VP's.

[hnsq]

Originally Posted by CTR36

Here's the deal. I have been at this job for about 18 months. In the whole 18 months only twice have I been invited out to eat by my supervisor and her assistant (they seem to run the show...I say seem b/c neither one is very bright) Anyways...I find it rude that they NEVER ask me if I want anything to eat when they do a fast food run whenever we stay late to work. I mean NEVER. They go around asking everyone else BUT me. I think that's rude.

This is what I heard. In 18 months, you have hardly ever gone to lunch with them. Why should they ask you to come? I bet they think you just never want to go. I am not a social person. I like to sit on my own and be left alone. I also think however you act in your first month of a new job is how people see you for a very long time. When I started my current job, I forced myself to be a lot more social than I am so I would actually get along with people in the office. This meant listening to some pretty boring stories from people who really annoyed me, but now I know people and have people I can hang out with when I want to (and also gives me a network in case I need help on a project).

I think you need to stop making a big deal out of this and organize lunch at least once a week. Things are as big of a deal as you make them, and I don't think lunch is that big of a deal.

[LoveBoating]

My last supervisor took me out for lunch twice......at my first Year Anniversary/Review and my 4th Year Anniversary/Review. He took me out on the 4th one b/c he wanted to discuss with me about the new Assistant he wanted to hire to help me and the rest of the Department.
Now, whenever he had lunch with a Vendor, he would never ask me to go along and he knew that I wanted to learn more about dealing with Vendors. That part of him I did not like at all, but put up with it.
He was a man that basically ate very healthy and didn't want to put Department money out for summer BBQ's at work.....the Transportation Director loved to eat and so he paid for summer BBQ's out of his budget for both his department and ours. My supervisor also ate breakfast, but generally skipped lunch.....just his idea of watching calories.
As for myself, there were times (however, not all the time) when I would go to Mickey D's for breakfast and ask the 5 people that were in the office with me, if they wanted something. Most of the time they didn't. Now, there was a sandwich shop across the street from our office and I would go over there and get a breakfast sandwich and not ask any of the others in the office if they wanted anything.
Another way to let office people know that you "care" is to bring in a couple dozen of donuts on a Friday morning or other morning.