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Remember, the people that hired you are not the people that work for you. You are like a teacher in a class room, you are not there to make friends, you are there to produce a service or a product. Do the job they hired you to do. Set the example, be the team leader. If someone shuns you, go on and do your job, Professionally. If they don't, thats their loss. Lead, don't be led.
Thank you very much for the support and advise all you nice people in this forum. I am going to this meeting in the next 15 mins, i will sure post as to what came out of it. And yes, i will remember to be nice AND firm.
You know, I just had a meeting with the "rude lady" and my VP...while I was open for "constructive critisism", she didnt want to open up at all. Too bad...but at least i have cleared my side of the story...if anything goes wrong from now with regards to the same issue...I would start writing a diciplinary warning letter...What do you think?
Can you be more specific regarding in what way they are rude? Also, what country are you from? I have noticed that some countries are much more formal than the US. If you are from one of them, your former manner may appear as cold to them. Also, what part of the country are you in?
Well, I was working with a leading financial institution in London, (UK) for 3 and half years after finishing my Master from LSE. I agree, we were so formal with each other while at work in London. I got married and re-located to Toronto, Canada about 4 months ago. This is my first job in North America.
One thing I noticed is that people here do not think twice before they use profanity and nobody seems to mind. That was a big NO NO from where I come.
More over I was heading a team of 'Traders' which was 100 times more challenging than what I do right now...so maybe ...like, when I ask people to do something which is even a little bit out of their job routine, they HATE it. Its not even dislike, they HATE it.
In what way they were rude: Let me give an example. I have my own room at work. The lady just walks into my room without even knocking..worst, she (quite literally) throws the documents to be authorised on my table and without even uttering a word she walks out. Is this normal in Canada?
In what way they were rude: Let me give an example. I have my own room at work. The lady just walks into my room without even knocking..worst, she (quite literally) throws the documents to be authorised on my table and without even uttering a word she walks out. Is this normal in Canada?
Hopefully things will improve since you had that meeting. It is definitely rude to walk in without knocking. I would definitely address that right away.
I would say they are intimidated by you and are resentful that you got a job one of them wanted.
There is very little profanity at my workplace, especially among women. This may be a situation where they have all worked together a long time and feel very comfortable among one another. This may be another source of the hostility. If they are a tight-knit group that hasn't had an "outsider" for a long time, they will see you as a common enemy. But it sounds like it has made them lazy and inefficient. That's why they brought you in, right?
I would guess they are probably resentful to work for a person who is non-White (should we assume you are Indian or possibly Arabic from your name? No offense meant, I may just be wrong here.) and also because you are younger than they are...older folks often think they should be respected 'just because of age.'
I remember one job I had as manager--this guy was mouthy and rude. He made disparaging remarks about me physically (funny thing is that he was not a physical prize himself). I ignored him. I was much younger than. Now I probably would have been in his face about it.
I suggest you conduct yourself with dignity. They will learn to respect you. A manager is not going to be liked. Find friends outside of work or among your company peers.
SactoBankerGirl,
Yes, thats why they they brought me it. But honestly speaking, I was totally up-prepared for the hostility which runs to this extent. Again Yes, they had been together as a team for over 20 to 25 years and NOW its obvious that they have been hoping to get my role. When they didnt get this role, they are taking the anger out on me.
Worst thing is that I have to learn everything by myself. No help around...when I ask an explanation for a problem they just say "I dont know". Not at all a pleasant situation to be in. But then again, given some time, when I learn how the concepts work, it will be much much easier for me. isnt it?
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