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you're right, it is nice to be acknowledged by someone you barely know but they acknowledge your name. and it makes me want to do same
well thinking about it is i got defensive because in actuality i certainly do get out of my cubicle and talk to others, however brief it may be (however with those i know well of course i can easily blow 45-60 minutes chatting) so i just want everyone to know that i am not a total hermit
but there certainly are people who i do say hello and goodbye to but it's simply not enough for them. i've been accused of not saying hello to them when in actuality i do(i just don't have any interest in taking it further because they are just too full of themselves or we just don't click so i just leave it at that) but if i get into petty arguments with them like "yes i do say hello to you" vs "no you don't say hello to me" i don't want to go there
and some of them have an attitude like 'well i go out of my way to say hello and talk to others so so can you" which is ridiculous because everyone has different levels of social energy and tolerance. and my tolerance for superficial chat with peopel i don't know well is very very limited
you're right, it is nice to be acknowledged by someone you barely know but they acknowledge your name. and it makes me want to do same
well thinking about it is i got defensive because in actuality i certainly do get out of my cubicle and talk to others, however brief it may be (however with those i know well of course i can easily blow 45-60 minutes chatting) so i just want everyone to know that i am not a total hermit
but there certainly are people who i do say hello and goodbye to but it's simply not enough for them. i've been accused of not saying hello to them when in actuality i do(i just don't have any interest in taking it further because they are just too full of themselves or we just don't click so i just leave it at that) but if i get into petty arguments with them like "yes i do say hello to you" vs "no you don't say hello to me" i don't want to go there
and some of them have an attitude like 'well i go out of my way to say hello and talk to others so so can you" which is ridiculous because everyone has different levels of social energy and tolerance. and my tolerance for superficial chat with peopel i don't know well is very very limited
I agree with you on all of this.
I guess its just that saying hi in the hallway (geez, even a smile if you don't want to talk) even if you dont know someone - its a matter of being cordial because you work at the same place. Or, for instance, I've encountered quite a bit of rudeness on part of individuals in the office. Like, I will be nice and pick up my co-workers' mail as I get mine (since they sit next to me) but I get no 'thank you'. Or I will hold the door open when Im going in or out of the building and i get - you guessed it - no 'thank you'. What ever happened to people being considerate and thoughtful in the workplace?? No one is asking anyone else to do a cartwheel and throw a fiesta. Just a simple smile or a 'hi' or 'thank you' is fine enough.
Needless to say, I am no longer going out of my way to do nice things because I don't get any respect in return.
No need for a gabfest, but if these people can't just plain be nice, then maybe they should just work from home where they can fester in their own unfriendly and rude enivronments-with themselves.
Haha. It definitely comes with my industry. I got used to it in college with only 18% girls at my school. Made finding a husband easy, lol.
Do you work in the automotive or construction industry?
I used to work in the automotive industry - it was great! It's mostly all guys and there is no drama or cat fights or petty nonsense to deal with. Guys are fun to work with and they leave out all the BS that you can normally get when working with women. Plus, guys don't get 'offended' about everything.
i am guilty sometimes of doing the no thank you routine to others but not all the time. there are times when i am so busy that i don't even want to take the time to even think about reciprocating to a co worker (because i fear i will be too busy to think about being able to reciprocate back to them) so i will just no thank you so they will leave. it's not that i don't want to them there but my work is very demanding and it gets to the point where if a door falls shut because no one held it for me it's no big deal, all i care about is meeting that deadline
i also suffer from mild to moderate social phobias and am taking paxil so those pleasantries don't come as easily as with those who i know
and i have had past work relationships where i have not been treated too well so i am very wary and cautious as to who i talk to and who i interact with
Do you work in the automotive or construction industry?
I used to work in the automotive industry - it was great! It's mostly all guys and there is no drama or cat fights or petty nonsense to deal with. Guys are fun to work with and they leave out all the BS that you can normally get when working with women. Plus, guys don't get 'offended' about everything.
To me eight hours is a real long time. I am always at awe with people who come into work and at the end of the day say that they do not know where the time went and the day just flew by. In every office job I have had, the day seemed to last forever.
Another thing I do not understand is how people can come to work and sit at their desk all day and not talk to a single person for the entire day. At my employer most conversation with coworkers is online (email and instant message), so they can still be called a team player and not say a word verbally. I always wonder if these people ever get bored like me and want to reach out and talk to someone face to face, at least once in a while.
Can you go all day without talking to someone at work and not get bored, restless or lonely?
I've got work to do. If someone comes to talk to me, they are interrupting that. I'm trying to make progress. I concentrate on getting the job done.
To me eight hours is a real long time. I am always at awe with people who come into work and at the end of the day say that they do not know where the time went and the day just flew by. In every office job I have had, the day seemed to last forever.
Another thing I do not understand is how people can come to work and sit at their desk all day and not talk to a single person for the entire day. At my employer most conversation with coworkers is online (email and instant message), so they can still be called a team player and not say a word verbally. I always wonder if these people ever get bored like me and want to reach out and talk to someone face to face, at least once in a while.
Can you go all day without talking to someone at work and not get bored, restless or lonely?
I can, did and do to this day. Last time I checked, people went to work to WORK, NOT CHIT CHAT. Woe is the world we live in when people spend more time skinning and grinning than getting their work done. What's wrong with just coming to work, doing your job and going home? If you want to chit-chat, keep your behind home with your Crackberry aka Blackberry and chit-chat the day away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwhiteblue
It's called having no personality I have worked with some of the most boring people (research job) and they had no desire to chat, ever!
Actually, the most boring people are those who come to work and chit-chat, yet the employees who are there to do their job are disliked for not being a team player. If that's not malarky in and of itself, I don't know what is
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGrrl77
The socially inept people are the ones that aggravate me the most. It doesnt take a lot to say hi or smile in the hall or come out from under your rock for 5 minutes once in a while.
Then again, that is probably why these types of people have desk jobs, where their computer is their only friend.
Which, brings me back to my original statement in which I said that I just plain don't fit this job because I actually have a personality and like to interact with people.
This is the dumbest post I've ever read. If you were at my job, you would be gone with the quickness because where I work, people do their jobs and save the chit-chat for lunch or break time. There's a time and place for interaction and when you're on company time, skinning and grinning shouldn't be one of them. The only interaction that should take place is work-related, and even that should be kept to a minimum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGrrl77
this is all extremely funny to me
I don't know what kind of people you guys know or what issues you have about social people, but I, for one, have no hidden agenda whatsoever. That has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard (sorry).
I hate gossip and cliques - one of the reasons I couldnt stand high school, for instance. And I have never been 'phony' friendly. If I don't like a person - they know it. I make no effort to interact with people who I can't respect or who isn't friendly to begin with.
As for not having any work - that is completely untrue. I have tons of it - it could be just that I, unlike others, are better equipped with the skills to manage my time wisely and complete all my tasks without having to be so tied to my desk that I don't know what's going on around me. I don't have time to flitter around the office either (and I don't), but I am also not so involved in my head that I cannot acknowledge other human beings in the workplace.
Btw - there is a difference between quiet people and socially inept people. And I would guess that any good boss running a company wouldnt base their firing of an individual off of one observation, made in passing. Work isnt supposed to be a prison. But, then again, maybe that is why so many companies fail these days. People need to freaking calm down.
rlrl - why so defensive? chill out and smile at your co-worker.
People like YOU need to calm down and realize that everyone's different. What business is it of yours whether someone is glued to their desk in work and chooses not to interact with others? None. I, like others know how to manage time wisely so all tasks get completed and done accurately ahead of time. Even if we have free time to chit-chat, unlike you, some people actually know what they're at work to do. The general consensus is that people who spend the most time chit-chatting are the ones that are the least productive at their companies (with me, and others like me as the exception).
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traveler
I have worked with some of the most boring people (research job) and they had no desire to chat, ever!
