Work stories... your funniest work moments (letters, employees, owner, job)

[censusdata]

I work at a nursing home and some of the residents are absolutely hilarious.

There's one 97 year resident who was a preacher for 50 years who calls on God to consume us with fire when we have to change his brief.

He also says some of the most random things when he's in the dining room eating. The other day out of the blue he said "God in heaven my @ss feels like it's on fire".

He also gets very irritated when you try to feed him. One of my first days at the job I tried to put a spoon in his mouth and he knocked it out of my hand and said "God in heaven, the devil has come up from hell - and he's knocking on my door".

-----------------
What are some of the funniest stories or experiences you have from work??

[Asheville Native]

Funny in a demented way, actually it is just sad. Would you want your dad to deteriorate to such a condition?

[Chilkoot]

I was working for an airline in the bagagge claim department many years ago. I was responsible for inventorying anything left onboard the aircraft and then tried to find the owners.

A passenger called looking for a book and was rattling on about how good it was. I was waiting for my chance to let him know that I would go down stairs and "take a peak" to see if it was there. I then thought I'd use "take a look" for it instead, while he continued to tell me about the book. As soon as he took a breath I got a little flustered and said I'll be right back, I'm going down stairs to take a leak.

[JTGJR]

You won't believe it, but it's the God's honest truth. On April 1, some years ago, I received a voicemail from a colleague who was a good guy, but just didn't have a clue in his job. I forwarded it to another colleague with a scandalous rant about what an idiot the guy was. The moment I sent it, I realized I had "Replied" instead of "Forwarded" the voicemail. I was mortified. Within 5-minutes my phone rang. I answered the phone saying "April fools, gotcha!" Sure enough, it was him and we proceeded to laugh about the whole thing. Sad thing was, he was so clueless, he DID think it was just an April Fool joke. Made a mental note to self: "Like email, NEVER send a voicemail unless you want it to be seen/heard by many countless people.

[gea12345]

Originally Posted by Chilkoot

I was working for an airline in the bagagge claim department many years ago. I was responsible for inventorying anything left onboard the aircraft and then tried to find the owners.

A passenger called looking for a book and was rattling on about how good it was. I was waiting for my chance to let him know that I would go down stairs and "take a peak" to see if it was there. I then thought I'd use "take a look" for it instead, while he continued to tell me about the book. As soon as he took a breath I got a little flustered and said I'll be right back, I'm going down stairs to take a leak.

hhhaaa very funny~~!!

[redwhiteblue]

Well the first is I went to work for a title company and during my first couple of weeks I answered the phone a few times with a completely different name (a local bank) the funny thing is I never even did business with the bank that I named, it just came out of nowhere. Needless to say my co-worker looked at me like I was crazy!

Another time I was having to give a loan number to a lender and the person, the number contained the letters BD. So when I read her off the number I said B as in boy and D as in di**. After I hung up from that call I was in tears laughing & wondering why the hell I gave that as my response, LOL

[Puru]

I work at a store that sells, uh, questionable items. We get this one guy who has been calling the store randomly for over a year posing as different customers asking about certain items, and then trying to turn it into some sort of weird sex-story and asking a lot of really weird questions. Sometimes if no one is in the store and he calls we'll put him on speaker phone and see who can hold back their laughter the longest (unless the store manager is working because she hates him and hangs up on him and doesn't find him funny).

I should also mention that I work at the mall and found out the hard way that some of the security guards frown on us playing with laser-pointers and random people.

The store is also located in the middle of the mall, right next to the fountain. I've watched countless kids decide to go "swimming", as well as a few adults trip and knock over the barriers and fall in.

My fave work story: Last year just after the holiday season we had a big fuzzy pink chair on display in our front window. Some little kid ran up to the window full force with his hand out, looking like he was going to pet the chair. But he didn't realize that a magical force-field exists called "glass". WHAM! Right into the window head first. he stumbled backwards clutching his head and looking really confused. What made it even better was his father was standing right there watching it all and he just stood there for a moment with a look on his face that clearly read: "Is that seriously my kid that just did that?!"
The kid was a little stunned, but he was fine. Left a nice big forehead/grease mark on the window for a while.
I was laughing so hard and uncontrollably that I had to go sit in the stock room for a few minutes because people were giving me awful looks.

[CTR36]

Originally Posted by redwhiteblue

Well the first is I went to work for a title company and during my first couple of weeks I answered the phone a few times with a completely different name (a local bank) the funny thing is I never even did business with the bank that I named, it just came out of nowhere. Needless to say my co-worker looked at me like I was crazy!

Another time I was having to give a loan number to a lender and the person, the number contained the letters BD. So when I read her off the number I said B as in boy and D as in di**. After I hung up from that call I was in tears laughing & wondering why the hell I gave that as my response, LOL

VERY VERY funny LMAO!!

[Lynda05125]

I have worked in the Dental field for some 28 years I had this male patient that had fallen a sleep while I was cleaning his teeth, I had not notice that he had unzipped his pants and had his hands in his pants and was touching himself (very exposed) until the doctor came into the room and questioned how much gas I had given the patient that would make him forget where he was at, I said he must feel very comfortable and that the gas levels were at a normal rate because he wasn’t complaining of any pain, then the doctor pointed to what I had not been looking at ,and said look at what he is doing you better make him less comfortable.
Before I could say another word the room that I was working in was full with all the female employees taken a look at how things had gotten out of hand (like they have never seen a man with his hands in his pants) Ha-Ha