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I agree, not your problem. The grandparents need to show a little tough love, but until they're ready to, there's not much you can do.
In all honesty once his grandparents cut him off he'll probably find a girlfriend to leach off of. Some people are just like this, and there's nothing you can do to change it.
I know a guy who is almost 60, has a very sketchy job history, mostly working for his mothers business when he felt like it and leaching off of her and various girlfriends. I wiped him off my friends list almost 30 years ago, he's a user and a loser. I still hear about him from time to time from others--usually when one calls and says "I lent XXXX money three years ago, and he still hasn't paid me back--what should I do?"
Oh he has ambition, like tanning,working out, shopping, looking for a mate and clubbing but none towards finding a job. Or like he told us, "I will not take a regular job, I need something to sustain my current lifestyle and refuse to go backwards in life".
I fear that its going to harder and harder for him to find a job with his unrealistic expectations. No employer is going to hire a 30yo with practically no work experience. Sometimes we just want to slap him!
Can you really move much farther backward than where he is now? Living with grandparents, only caring about clubbing...He acts like he is 17, what the hell does he mean he doesn't want to move backward? He is about as far away from 'adulthood' as you can be when you are 30. Any job he takes is a step up.
Can you really move much farther backward than where he is now? Living with grandparents, only caring about clubbing...He acts like he is 17, what the hell does he mean he doesn't want to move backward? He is about as far away from 'adulthood' as you can be when you are 30. Any job he takes is a step up.
I think he means that his last job payed a very high salary and that he thinks he is going to find a job that pays the same level or higher. Like a company is going to pay him 80 grand salary with him having spotty work experience. He thinks he can BS people on interviews and get whatever he wants. Then they find out that he cant do the job a few months into it or he annoys them with his personality.
He has his good points and his bad points.
We are done with giving him advice. We just wish he could change.
Every generation has this type ;it just seems to be more common how days. Iknew several like this fom the 60's and only one isn't a broken down old man having statred a string of failures since 40. One actaully went into business hinself and hiow is a workaholic try to achieve waht he didn't in the past. We either learn the easy way or the hardway in most instances.
Well??? DO IT!!!! and move on.
P.S. i really would love to have friends that actualy care that much to even offer me a job... but ofcourse i don't have a masters... LOL? >_<
I would find another friend to hang out with, he sounds like a loser. Only way I've seen guys like this learn (and gals) is if their finances are cut off. I've known a few 'party kids' get slapped in the face at 30, when they see what they have for the last decade of effort...especially when the looks start to slip.
I know, We want to help him, but so far nothing has worked. I fear that he will continue to be a out of work 30 old that has never worked a hard day in his life.
you seam like good friends but I feel like this is not your concern. He is a grown man and unless he has a family to support he needs to learn the hard way.
My wife and I have a friend who we are very worried about. He will be 30 soon and has only worked a few jobs. He is currently on his 2nd unemployment extension from a position he only worked for 90 days. Before that job he had worked at a company for about a year and was also let go from that position without any reason, he also was on unemployment from that job too.
He currently has his grandparents paying his bills even though he is collecting the max unemployment benefits. With his last job he racked up so many bills and over extended himself so much in 90days that he cant afford to pay his rent.
I don't like to pick on him but he spends like crazy, even on unemployment he is still buying stuff for his apartment and going out to clubs all the time! Sucking his grandparents dry!
We try to talk to him about taking a job that does not meet his criteria but he refuses, he has had job offers from friends but turned them down because they weren't glamorous enough! He says that he needs at least 70,000 to sustain his lifestyle!
We tell him that it does not look good on resumes when you have practically no work history and your almost 30! He does have a masters degree though, which he thinks makes him deserve a six figure salary!
Any advice would help.
Well he is screwed really. Employers these days care alot about both intelligence and experience. Having a list of college degrees is not enough!!
If he wants to make at least 70K then he is going to have to start at the bottom of the rung, even with a masters degree.
I have a doctoral degree, and I started out making mid 40s last year. This year I am finally getting a raise into the mid 70s.
He sounds like he has peter pan syndrome. He needs to move on with life and stop trying to relive his 20s.
He's not here posting... at least not in this section... that means, plain and simple, he doesn't want help... so you wanting it for him isn't going to make a dang bit of difference.
It's like the show "Intervention"... any idea how many of those actually end with a healthy client in recovery??
You either need to accept him as he is or cut him out of your life. It's only causing you trouble... clearly, he doesn't care. It will get worse for you if he does luck out and find the $80k job... and my experience is that lots of undeserving idiots end up in well paying positions without working for it. Ever been to DC? LA? NYC?
There are many hard working people who earn their keep but there are just as many lucky fools who fall assbackwards into the good life... and it just keeps on coming...
Maybe his grandparents enjoy paying for that kid... for some families, it's a cultural thing where they get off on supporting the younger generations. I'm from a culture where I got nothing... not even lunch money after the age of 16... but I have friends whose parents even paid for their grad school, wedding, and their first home!!
It's all subjective... so the real question...
Why do you care? Figure that out and you'll be able to move past it... regardless of whether or not he changes.
Take care and be well.
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