Going to dinner with a mid level executive (employee, job, career)

[careerminded]

So I'm going to dinner with an executive I work on projects for on a regular basis next week. First off, I'm not in sales, but a project manager. This person just happens to be coming in town on business and invited me for a steak dinner. The affiliation of his company to mine is a precarious one (parent company...e.g. an Altria exec goes to lunch with an Employee at Philip Morris or Kraft who works only on Altria related projects) as he may have influence on whether I receive a new title/bonus/increased salary. Therefore, I'm not sure exactly how to act with him. Of course I will be cool with him as I went to a similar dinner with him 2 years ago.

However, I'm at a point now where I really want a new title or increased salary and I am grossly underpaid compared to people I know get more than me and do far less. I'm wondering what I can say either directly or indirectly to imply that I am not entirely happy here so that he may talk to the higher ups at my company to tell them to take care of me. It's early enough where the bonus pool has not been divided yet and there wouldn't be any wiggle room. That's usually done in mid to late November. Any insight is much appreciated.

[careerminded]

bump

[mdwstrnkid]

Are you asking how you should act around him during dinner or are you asking how you should ask for a bump in salary and/or raise? I think that these are very different questions. In any case, you really should not discuss salary and/or job title when you are out at dinner with him. I would advise you to have that conversation when you are in a professional setting, not in a more casual setting like dinner.

[annerk]

Saying you aren't happy is not the way to go about getting a promotion or raise. Complaining will never do you any good. Instead express your interest in continuing employment and advancement with the company and ask for their help in mentoring you so you can move to the next level.

[Threestep]

Dress conservatively, order something you can eat without ooops (stay away from fingerfood entrees), go slow on the booze, ask informed questions, be thrilled about changes, throw the team factor in, be interested in his projects. No gossip, complaining or finger pointing. Let him come up with the idea of your raise/promotion. It is often referred to as corporate cheer leading. Good luck!

[tluv00]

Do not ask for more money. You will probably be shown the door in the next few weeks if you do. Do just as threestep mentioned but also show interest in being a part of new projects, especially ones that you could contribute too. Asking for more money in a time when companies are laying people off left and right is a mistake IMO.

Talk about how much you have enjoyed the business relationship. Talk about projects and successes, you have had with this person. Talk about loving working on a team, how things have been great thus far, you are glad to be a partner with him/her etc. When you talk about your favorite part of working on a specific project talk about all that you did to show how much weight you were carrying. DO NOT MENTION YOU WANT MORE MONEY! He/she may not be willing to to go out on that limb for you to talk to executives on your behalf and if you bring it up and they ignore or deny you......that will put a huge strain on your relationship. Good luck!

[STT Resident]

I agree with the majority and would add too to be GENUINE in your interaction with him. Don't make the mistake of emoting enthusiasm when the topic is something you really aren't enthusiastic about. Amateur actors are a dime a dozen and easily seen through! Good luck.

[danameless]

Originally Posted by Threestep

Dress conservatively, order something you can eat without ooops (stay away from fingerfood entrees), go slow on the booze,

I think this is just as important as "what you're going to say" during a business dinner. I would wear business attire (suit/tie) and look the role. In my world, business executives are always in a suit, especially when they are traveling. No more than 2 alcoholic drinks and when ordering dinner, let the executive order first, and then make sure your order is in line with his. You don't want to order a filet mignon if he orders a a salad.

As for the conversation, I would not bring up anything negative about your role, the job itself, or the company. Keep it a casual discussion. Unless asked specifically, always keep things positive.

[annerk]

Speaking of alcohol, if the person you are dining with doesn't order any, neither should you. If he wants you to order first, just ask for a glass of water and say you aren't sure what you want to drink yet, you want to see what's on the menu first--which is actually pretty common. That will buy a bit of time to see if he's ordering alcohol or not.

You should also stay away from the most expensive items on the menu, unless youa re eating at a moderately priced restaurant where the entree prices range from $13-17, then it doesn't really matter. But if most of the entrees are in the $20-30 range, don't order the $50 surf and turf.

[Asheville Native]

Originally Posted by careerminded

<snip> as he may have influence on whether I receive a new title/bonus/increased salary. Therefore, I'm not sure exactly how to act with him. Of course I will be cool with him as I went to a similar dinner with him 2 years ago.

My advancements as a project manager were based on performance, not the project that I was starting, but upon successful completions.

Your immediate supervisor is the person that determines your promotions, raises. If you are going to bypass your manager, that may not set well with them.

To make a major advancement I actually "applied" for the position withing the company to the appropriate manager, who I had a relationship with as I had assisted him with some projects in the past. I received an nice offer but it was contingent on my current manager's willingness to permit the transfer, as he had to find a replacement for my current position.

As for your meeting, learn everything you can about the project, have a 'high altitude' picture in your mind, know at least generally the challenges, pitfalls, vendor dependencies, etc. Be honest, if there is part of this project that you see as a major issue or problem, don't keep it a secret. Be confident in your abilities, but not cocky.