Boss has 10 subordinates but goes to lunch with same 2 daily (employees, work)

[careerminded]

My boss has 10 subordinates but goes to lunch with only 2 every day. He lives next to these same people and rides from work with them. Is there anything that can be done about this? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? I really think its highly inappropriate for a boss to behave in this manner at work and think it might make a difference when bonus/salary increase/title time comes about. These people get more face time with my boss and have a greater rapport with him because of it. It's not like I can go to his boss and say, "my boss goes to lunch everyday with person A and person B...that's bogus!"

[Alaskan Mutt]

Not getting as much positive face time as others is something I have to put up with. In my case it is in part due to being out in the field and only getting to headquarters once a year. It is a real challenge. What can you do about it? There is not a lot you can do as to changing your bosses habits. What you need to do is look for other ways to get noticed. Excell at your work. Take on tasks others try to shy away from.

[annerk]

I agree with Alaskan Mutt, find other ways to make sure your work is noticed.

I'd also ask your boss if s/he'd like to ahve lunch with you and a couple of other co-worker's on "X" day next week. Choose a specific date and offer a backup date as well. SOmetimes you just need to speak up to be heard.

If the boss declines the invitation, as long as the others aren't getting preferential treatment, just keep quiet.

The only time I've run into this was when the boss was having an affair with the coworker. I had no problem with it until the coworker began to get very obvious preferential treatment. At that time I dealt with the situation through proper channels.

[katgotsteve]

the last company i worked for was like that. when i started with the company it was 10 employees with a 9 state territory. as the years went by the company territory got bigger, but the employees were fewer. finally with only 5 employees left, i was the only one who wasnt in the "in" crowd. the employees were all family or long term friends. they went to lunch together, talked about everything personal, and hired other poeple and gave them up to 2 months vacation the first year and started them off at $10,000 more a year than i made. i was the outsider, but i was paid the least, the only female who worked the field and often wasnt allowed to take my vacation because i was the only hardware tech. i worked for 5.5 years and felt like an outcast most of it, esp when everyone else that wasnt related went on to other jobs. dont get me wrong i loved my job, i loved working with different people and traveling, but i hated working the long hours as salary while everyone else was able to take off. we did several installations in the mountains of NC, it was gorgeous. one of the guys that worked with me, left early on a friday and went to the river kayaking. i really was upset when i asked for a day off to go to my child's school for career day. then when i got pregnant, you should have seen the cold shoulder i got.

after all that i learned, i will work for a corporation with guidelines not a family/small business again.
if you feel you are getting left out or overlooked, i would recommend keeping a notebook and make notes about how it all plays out from your prospective. it could pay off in the long run if things turn out bad at your company. friendships sometimes turn out bad and make things at the office bad. a notebook of dates times and incidents can cover your butt, because sometimes other people get dragged into the mess.

[Chilkoot]

Originally Posted by careerminded

My boss has 10 subordinates but goes to lunch with only 2 every day. He lives next to these same people and rides from work with them. Is there anything that can be done about this? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? I really think its highly inappropriate for a boss to behave in this manner at work and think it might make a difference when bonus/salary increase/title time comes about. These people get more face time with my boss and have a greater rapport with him because of it. It's not like I can go to his boss and say, "my boss goes to lunch everyday with person A and person B...that's bogus!"

So if I understand this; you're concerned about who your boss goes to lunch with? Why is that your business? You said nothing about any improprieties. How specifically does he act at work that shows favoritism? If it's just lunch then there's no problem.

[bmd69]

Probably going for a couple of drinks.

[JetJockey]

That's basically the only thing that bothers me about my job. I'm the only female in my department and generally I'm not invited to things. The guy all go to lunch at least once a week (paid for by the company) and I've been invited twice in the last 10 months I've been here. They have department meetings and 'forget' to invite me, and tend to ignore me most of the time.

It's okay though... I love what I do and I can deal with the cold shoulders. I guess you have to learn to deal.

[bmd69]

This happened to me. The Boss who headed up the had the nerve to play golf and go to the movies when he should have been working. By the way he quit. He was slick and a professional BS'er

[GloryB]

Just make friends with your boss. Everyone has common ground with others. Find the common ground between yourself and him and build on it. I've ended up being great friends with every boss I've ever had. Doesn't mean you take advantage of the friendship by being late or being a slacker....it means you try harder because you respect them.