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Old 06-28-2009, 06:31 AM
 
91 posts, read 338,659 times
Reputation: 63
Default How do you handle a co-worker who's rude and disrespectful to you??

I just started this job 6 weeks ago after being out of work for over a year.Now I realize no matter how hard you try there is always going to be one co-worker that does not like you for one reason or the other.
This woman sits behind me in the office is rude and snitty when I ask her a question and uses a very patronizing and condescending tone when showing me how to do something on the computer.
The office manager always ask me if everything is going OK and is everbody treating me good but I don't want to resort to running to the office manager and looking like a snitch or something.
How would you handle this situation?
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:03 AM
 
Location: St. Croix
737 posts, read 1,214,148 times
Reputation: 707
KILL HER... with kindness. You're new and she might feel threatened.

Compliment her - sincerely, if possible - can be anything, hair, handbag, work ethic, etc.

Good luck to you.
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:09 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,636 posts, read 25,212,126 times
Reputation: 22316
Unfortunately it's not an uncommon situation and people such as her are usually insecure, have some shortcomings where their ability to do their job is concerned and feel threatened by newcomers. I'd guess that since you say the office manager has specifically asked you if everyone's treating you nicely, this coworker has done the same to others.

My advice is to let it all slide off you and don't negatively react to her attitude. Thank her when she helps you, keep a pleasant smile on your face, be polite to her when she's being rude to you and basically just "rise above it" and do your job. She'll be the one who ends up looking like an idiot in the eyes of the other coworkers and the office manager and, if she persists in that sort of pettiness, she may end up unemployed!

These things generally have a way of sorting themselves out. Good luck!
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:14 AM
 
91 posts, read 338,659 times
Reputation: 63
Thanks to both of you for your responses.I have been just rising above it and being polite to her.
It's hard for me to make conversation with someone who obviously does not care for me but I will try and see if this helps curve her attitude toward me.
I know others in the office have to have noticed the way she sounds and acts towards me.
I hope it all just blows over.
Thanks again.
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:36 AM
 
558 posts, read 728,686 times
Reputation: 581
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunsetBeachFL View Post
KILL HER... with kindness. You're new and she might feel threatened.

Compliment her - sincerely, if possible - can be anything, hair, handbag, work ethic, etc.

Good luck to you.
Firstly, congratulations on your new job. This is a really rough job market for many people at the moment. Exactly. I agree with the above posting. Take the high road, and be professional. People like this enjoy a confrontation, because they are insecure about themselves, and need to be acknowledged. Don't dignify this small petty minded individual by acknowledging her crappy behavior. It's likely nothing personal. People like this just tend to be miserable, and are always more than ready to take out their misery on anyone around them who is willing and available. She isn’t worth your energy. I've seen people like this in the workplace for years. They tend to just move on, and look elsewhere for new targets.

You're new at this job. You will likely get down your daily routines in no time at all, and your computer skills will get better with time. Hence, you will no longer need to rely on anymore help from her. Getting a manager involved should be the very last option. No need to get anyone else involved unless it escalates into something much worse, and a it becomes a toxic work environment that is unmanageable.
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Western North Carolina
3,185 posts, read 4,194,246 times
Reputation: 4491
debbiest50:

You are exactly right, there always seems to be one co-worker, especially when you're new on the job, that acts this way. It has happened to me at almost every single job I've ever had. They try to talk down to you and "dazzle" you with how much they already know, that you may just now be learning, and in doing so tend to make you feel belittled. Somehow, this makes a person like this feel superior. I have always believed that this type of person is insecure, childish, and as another has said, feels threatened inside.

I agree that the best method to deal with this is to "rise above" her. Take a deep breath, be polite, but avoid her like the plague, if at all possible. If you have questions, try to find the answer out yourself or ask someone else where you work. Don't "take the bait", and don't complain to anyone just yet.

There's one in every workplace, and I GUARANTEE YOU THIS: You will soon find, as I ALWAYS have, that without you even having to say anything, it will not be too long before you will discover that you are most assuredly not the only one in the office that has problems with this person.
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Old 06-28-2009, 07:49 AM
 
Location: The Midst of Insanity
3,225 posts, read 4,073,258 times
Reputation: 3092
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Unfortunately it's not an uncommon situation and people such as her are usually insecure, have some shortcomings where their ability to do their job is concerned and feel threatened by newcomers. I'd guess that since you say the office manager has specifically asked you if everyone's treating you nicely, this coworker has done the same to others.

My advice is to let it all slide off you and don't negatively react to her attitude. Thank her when she helps you, keep a pleasant smile on your face, be polite to her when she's being rude to you and basically just "rise above it" and do your job. She'll be the one who ends up looking like an idiot in the eyes of the other coworkers and the office manager and, if she persists in that sort of pettiness, she may end up unemployed!

These things generally have a way of sorting themselves out. Good luck!
This is great advice. Keep your head up and your shoulders back, maintain eye contact with her, and keep a smile on your face as you're thanking her every time she 'gives you a hand' with something! Eventually she'll see that she can't bully and intimidate you and that you're better than that.

Hang in there...good luck and keep us posted!
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Old 06-28-2009, 08:03 AM
 
91 posts, read 338,659 times
Reputation: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by izannimda View Post
Firstly, congratulations on your new job. This is a really rough job market for many people at the moment. Exactly. I agree with the above posting. Take the high road, and be professional. People like this enjoy a confrontation, because they are insecure about themselves, and need to be acknowledged. Don't dignify this small petty minded individual by acknowledging her crappy behavior. It's likely nothing personal. People like this just tend to be miserable, and are always more than ready to take out their misery on anyone around them who is willing and available. She isnít worth your energy. I've seen people like this in the workplace for years. They tend to just move on, and look elsewhere for new targets.

You're new at this job. You will likely get down your daily routines in no time at all, and your computer skills will get better with time. Hence, you will no longer need to rely on anymore help from her. Getting a manager involved should be the very last option. No need to get anyone else involved unless it escalates into something much worse, and a it becomes a toxic work environment that is unmanageable.
Thanks.I really like my job alot and enjoy all the other people I work with in the office.
I am getting to know the job more and more each day and like you said pretty soon I won't need her help any longer.I do go to anyone else for help when I can but sometimes she's the only person in town.So I have no choice but to ask her.
Getting a manager involved would be my last resort.No doubt.
Hopefully she'll realize I am no threat to her and this whole thing blows over.
Thanks.
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Old 06-28-2009, 08:08 AM
 
91 posts, read 338,659 times
Reputation: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by montanamom View Post
debbiest50:

You are exactly right, there always seems to be one co-worker, especially when you're new on the job, that acts this way. It has happened to me at almost every single job I've ever had. They try to talk down to you and "dazzle" you with how much they already know, that you may just now be learning, and in doing so tend to make you feel belittled. Somehow, this makes a person like this feel superior. I have always believed that this type of person is insecure, childish, and as another has said, feels threatened inside.

I agree that the best method to deal with this is to "rise above" her. Take a deep breath, be polite, but avoid her like the plague, if at all possible. If you have questions, try to find the answer out yourself or ask someone else where you work. Don't "take the bait", and don't complain to anyone just yet.

There's one in every workplace, and I GUARANTEE YOU THIS: You will soon find, as I ALWAYS have, that without you even having to say anything, it will not be too long before you will discover that you are most assuredly not the only one in the office that has problems with this person.
Thank you for your response.I feel much better about the situation.
And I like my job alot so I'm there to stay wether she likes it or not.
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Old 06-28-2009, 08:10 AM
 
91 posts, read 338,659 times
Reputation: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
This is great advice. Keep your head up and your shoulders back, maintain eye contact with her, and keep a smile on your face as you're thanking her every time she 'gives you a hand' with something! Eventually she'll see that she can't bully and intimidate you and that you're better than that.

Hang in there...good luck and keep us posted!
No way is this woman going to bully me out of that job.I like my job and like I said in the previous response I'm there to stay wether she likes it or not.
Thanks.I will keep you posted.
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