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I could write a small book on this topic. I am more or less a pretty positive person, but haven't always been that way. I had to learn how to do so.
A little background: in 2004, I lost my job that I truly loved and was exceptionally good at. I live in an area that is not known for a strong economy, but since we haven't had a boom, there's no bust either. At the time in 2004, it seemed to me that my mother's health was in sharp decline and that something was going to happen. I decided that I would take care of her as my "job" as there weren't a lot of options available at that time. I thought it would only be a temporary situation.
As her health declined, I learned more and more about provided health services, more about Medicare/Supplemental Ins/Medicaid than I ever wanted to know. I did things that I never dreamed that I would be capable of doing and did them well. This went on until 2008, when Mom had to go into a nursing home as it was nearly impossible for me to take care of her. However, I was at the nursing home on a daily basis, ensuring her care was top notch.
My mother passed away in April 2009. So the big question what would I do with my life? I am 52, all alone, no spouse, no significant other, and an only child to boot. About a year ago, I started to ponder this. I had always been employed in customer service oriented positions, and decided that health care is truly the ultimate in customer service. I considered a number of different options, and with much soul searching, decided to go back to school to be retrained as a Respiratory Therapist. (My mother had COPD, so it's a natural fit.). I've been taking classes since a few weeks after her passing in April, enjoying them, and doing well. In January, I start full time classes with completion in Dec 2011. This choice was not determined lightly, there was a lot of planning and effort that went into it, as well as a lot of effort yet to come to ensure success. But I'm looking forward to the future with confidence.
I've had a lot happen in the last few years that have been truly life altering. So I'm going to share some random thoughts on coping.
1. When times get tough, get tougher. My parents were both children of the Depression and a lot of their determination was instilled with me.
2. I've always hated this phrase, but I'm going to use it as the concept is ok, but not the hackeyned phrase. "Think outside the box." I'll go one better, there is NO box. The only boxes are: the ones you put around yourself, and the one you go into when you go 6 ft under. In the meantime, open yourself to new challenges. Believe me, they are out there. Don't let the others define you. Don't let the past define you. Only you in the present define you.
3. Managing stress and depression. We all feel stressed and depressed from time to time. Get up and move. Change your scenery. Go for a walk (it's free!). Do something nice for someone else--make a simple meal for someone worse off than you. I like your idea of cleaning your house top to bottom Movin on. Good idea. When in doubt, do something, do anything.
4. Being positive seems to bring more positive things into your life. I think there might be something to the concept that like attracts like. Being positive at least makes you project a confident vibe.
5. Pray. During the last 5 years, I've gotten a lot more spiritual. It does help me.
I could sit around feeling sorry for myself but that would only make matters worse. Quite frankly, right now I feel better about myself than I have in years.
OMG, what a wonderful post this is! It is so uplifting. Thank you.
Often the happiest time of my day is when I walk my yellow lab Sam. He makes me laugh every day and he loves me for me. I get out in the sunshine and walk in the hills. It is sure a blessing.
I am sorry you have dealt with such blows and I do hope your sister finds a kidney and very soon. Yes, health is the #1 issue which is why I worry so dang much about having health insurance and why I am just praying healthcare reform comes soon.
My problem is my brain. It just plays tapes over and over of catastrophe. I fear if I don't get a handle on this that I WILL bring this on myself. This is why I am asking people what their secrets are - how they prop themselves up.
of course its always good to get tips and ideas how to stay positive, however you got to make things happen. Dust off and get out there. I have a feeling something good will happen for you. Its bad but its not that bad. Look losing a home, or a material object can not be as bad as losing your health. If you see that material things are really not all , you may feel less pressure. So you rent, so you live kind of meger until you start over again.
It isn't wise to make assumptions about people. If I only had a dollar for every time someone said "well at least you have your health".....Really? I do? How do you know that? Unemployment doesn't only strike healthy people.
people who are in the end stages of renal failure are really not looking or caring about a job. The donor list is so long that many will die, its not legal to buy a kidney. You must offer it, she would gladly pay alot and I mean alot of money for a healthy kidney. When your this sick, who cares about work!!! With money or no money you cant buy your health. I do get that all people looking for work may not be healthy but they certainly are not in my sister shoes is what I was pointing out.
I try to force myself to see the beauty in nature (particularly when I am walking my dog early in the morning). Yes, tears of frustration can be streaming down my cheeks but I can look up and see blue sky, mountains, and breathe clean air.
So many are sitting in cities or slums unemployed. They never see the sky or have clean air or quiet surroundings.
I could write a small book on this topic. I am more or less a pretty positive person, but haven't always been that way. I had to learn how to do so.
A little background: in 2004, I lost my job that I truly loved and was exceptionally good at. I live in an area that is not known for a strong economy, but since we haven't had a boom, there's no bust either. At the time in 2004, it seemed to me that my mother's health was in sharp decline and that something was going to happen. I decided that I would take care of her as my "job" as there weren't a lot of options available at that time. I thought it would only be a temporary situation.
As her health declined, I learned more and more about provided health services, more about Medicare/Supplemental Ins/Medicaid than I ever wanted to know. I did things that I never dreamed that I would be capable of doing and did them well. This went on until 2008, when Mom had to go into a nursing home as it was nearly impossible for me to take care of her. However, I was at the nursing home on a daily basis, ensuring her care was top notch.
My mother passed away in April 2009. So the big question what would I do with my life? I am 52, all alone, no spouse, no significant other, and an only child to boot. About a year ago, I started to ponder this. I had always been employed in customer service oriented positions, and decided that health care is truly the ultimate in customer service. I considered a number of different options, and with much soul searching, decided to go back to school to be retrained as a Respiratory Therapist. (My mother had COPD, so it's a natural fit.). I've been taking classes since a few weeks after her passing in April, enjoying them, and doing well. In January, I start full time classes with completion in Dec 2011. This choice was not determined lightly, there was a lot of planning and effort that went into it, as well as a lot of effort yet to come to ensure success. But I'm looking forward to the future with confidence.
I've had a lot happen in the last few years that have been truly life altering. So I'm going to share some random thoughts on coping.
1. When times get tough, get tougher. My parents were both children of the Depression and a lot of their determination was instilled with me.
2. I've always hated this phrase, but I'm going to use it as the concept is ok, but not the hackeyned phrase. "Think outside the box." I'll go one better, there is NO box. The only boxes are: the ones you put around yourself, and the one you go into when you go 6 ft under. In the meantime, open yourself to new challenges. Believe me, they are out there. Don't let the others define you. Don't let the past define you. Only you in the present define you.
3. Managing stress and depression. We all feel stressed and depressed from time to time. Get up and move. Change your scenery. Go for a walk (it's free!). Do something nice for someone else--make a simple meal for someone worse off than you. I like your idea of cleaning your house top to bottom Movin on. Good idea. When in doubt, do something, do anything.
4. Being positive seems to bring more positive things into your life. I think there might be something to the concept that like attracts like. Being positive at least makes you project a confident vibe.
5. Pray. During the last 5 years, I've gotten a lot more spiritual. It does help me.
I could sit around feeling sorry for myself but that would only make matters worse. Quite frankly, right now I feel better about myself than I have in years.
What a most excellent post. I think all of the above is valuable insight into coping with life's challenges.
Just remember too that moving is an expense - if things are already tight, it could be more difficult. I recently moved to an area where I was told I could feed my workaholic tendencies, like you mentioned, only to find that things slowed down once I got here and now I am in a pickle myself, scared about paying my bills and the mortgage on the new house we purchased to move here. Stay positive. I find exercise is truly great mood lifter - and I think it shows when people look at you. Good luck to you in your endeavors!
Movin' On, I am going to tell you what I did, though you might find it childish, and maybe it only works for people like who, though outwardly adults, are not quite grown up inside. I was laid off for some time, and very scared, and I began to read all kinds of epic novels about heroes. (Not literary stuff--epic novels, genre stuff.) I got so boosted by this and so full of myself, I really think it showed in the interviews. I also read Shakespeare--the whole series of historical plays from Richard the second to Richard the third (including all the Henry plays with all the dramatic, heroic speeches.) I read about our own revolution. Anything about heroes. Please don't read the books put out now--these dismal, realistic memoirs. It's got to be fantastical or about heroes.
It worked for me. Maybe it would work for other people. If you don't like reading, maybe you could rent hero movies.
people who are in the end stages of renal failure are really not looking or caring about a job. The donor list is so long that many will die, its not legal to buy a kidney. You must offer it, she would gladly pay alot and I mean alot of money for a healthy kidney. When your this sick, who cares about work!!! With money or no money you cant buy your health. I do get that all people looking for work may not be healthy but they certainly are not in my sister shoes is what I was pointing out.
How do you know that? Organ failure doesn't strike only employed people either.
And to argue that unemployed people should sell their organs is appalling. Just appalling.
of course its always good to get tips and ideas how to stay positive, however you got to make things happen. Dust off and get out there. I have a feeling something good will happen for you. Its bad but its not that bad. Look losing a home, or a material object can not be as bad as losing your health. If you see that material things are really not all , you may feel less pressure. So you rent, so you live kind of meger until you start over again.
Last week, I learned that the co-owner of the company I worked for most of the last 15 years before being laid off last year is dying (young) of cancer. Puts a LOT of things into perspective. Good post!
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