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My whole problem is I don't know what I did and he won't tell me. I am more than willing to make right, apologize, and work on personality issues *I* have or may be perceived I have IF I know what they are. As it stands right now though, I have no clue what I did or who I did it to
Research both workplace mobbing and constructive discharge.
Ok I did take read up on this a bit and it's odd that this "constructive criticism" came right after I gave a stellar and my first presentation ever to our client last week.
I would consider the tone of your voice, or your body language...the things we never consider when we "think" we are being polite or "helpful." Case in point: the co-worker who was getting agitated while you were explaining something to her. You thought you were being polite, but you seemed to wonder if you were helping her in the right way. If she was put off by your approach, consider that others might be put off in the same way. You appear to be self-knowing, so only you can assess this. It's hard to get co-workers to confirm this, unless you know another outspoken, forthright colleague who might "pull your coat." This is the kind of thing that can up-end even the most talented people. I would assess what your work culture is, how different your personality might be, and figure out if your approach might need some recalibrating.
I hate to even mention this, but your boss could be lying about the whole thing. I mean, you're not being given any specific information or any actions to take. As for your boss not being allowed to tell you any specific info---I just don't buy that. If you're accused of something, you always have the right to know your accuser. I've rarely worked with bosses who would get involved in coworker conflicts to begin with. Those few who did would call a meeting with both of them and mediate a way for them to forge a working relationship. Or refer it to HR.
You also have to look at the result of the meeting: it undermines your professional relationships with everyone and shakes your confidence. Like your boss didn't know that would happen? I'd say the person who is having trouble working with you is your boss (the old "i have a friend" story) and he/she is trying to avoid any kind of confrontation. I'd be watching my boss like a hawk.
Great post. It sounds like the main problem for the OP is her boss. The "I've been asking around" or "So and so said this about you" is 99% false and treats you as if you're in the 3rd grade.
If you feel like you're being unfairly harassed, and your boss is just making things up (which happens more often than one might think), the first step is to go right to HR and file a complaint.
I am meeting with HR either this afternoon or first thing in the morning.
Regardless of the situation (if he made it up or didn't make it up) I need help in dealing with the situation.
If I'm doing something wrong, I want help in dealing with the issue and improving myself and work relationships.
If I am not doing anything wrong, well then there must be something wrong with how my boss perceives me and my actions, so that will need addressed too.
Instead, it might be most constructive to identify those areas where you are doing work that should, perhaps, be done by someone else.
sounds like both situations fall under what he told you. Really don't know how to say it with out sounding mean but it sounds like you need to back off or but out of what others are doing and make sure when working on a project with someone together that it is not just one sided when it comes to whos ideas or ways are best.
Your boss' behavior is inappropriate and has unnecessarily created an uncomfortable environment for you.
I wonder how many people are getting a rise out of watching you be paranoid in the work place.
It's an intimidation practice.
If he/she brings it up again, request a meeting together with HR to discuss it professionally and directly so you actually have answers to what EXACTLY needs correction.
I am meeting with HR either this afternoon or first thing in the morning.
Regardless of the situation (if he made it up or didn't make it up) I need help in dealing with the situation.
If I'm doing something wrong, I want help in dealing with the issue and improving myself and work relationships.
If I am not doing anything wrong, well then there must be something wrong with how my boss perceives me and my actions, so that will need addressed too.
Labyrrinth, you are courageous in challenging management by going to HR. I've been in a similar situation where the boss made up stuff, or wouldn't elaborate and threw me under the bus. I'd be curious how your meeting with HR turns out and whether the consequences with your boss are positive or negative.
Agree with the above posters. I'm interested to see how this turns out, keep us informed...
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