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Every single SO I have had has made less than me. In some cases it has been an issue....for him, not for me. IN at least a couple of cases it may have contributed to our breakup because he somehow felt threatened. Again, nothing I felt, but some how some men do take it to be an attack on them.
Every single SO I have had has made less than me. In some cases it has been an issue....for him, not for me. IN at least a couple of cases it may have contributed to our breakup because he somehow felt threatened. Again, nothing I felt, but some how some men do take it to be an attack on them.
That's terrible but true for too many couples. I hate the excuse that he feels emasculated if his female partner earns more. Partners should support each other without keeping a financial scorecard over each others heads.
I make more than my boyfriend, and so far no problems in over 3 years. That's how I hope and assume it will stay.
That's terrible but true for too many couples. I hate the excuse that he feels emasculated if his female partner earns more. Partners should support each other without keeping a financial scorecard over each others heads.
I make more than my boyfriend, and so far no problems in over 3 years. That's how I hope and assume it will stay.
I dont think the feeling of emasuclation is an excuse-- it is just how some guys feel.
I have a friend who has had a VERY hard time finding a new partner. Her husband was the one that had an affair on her. So since then her dating world has been pretty limited in scope. She is a very aggressive and ambitious woman. She has been in the C level suite-- and that usually sends guys running for the hills. She doesn't even bring it up and tries to avoid the conversation when dating.
The longest relationship she had was with a guy who was also an executive-- their only problem then was the travel that both did was not conducive to having a normal relationship.
As for what some others have said-- I don't want to be the breadwinner. But I am also not the type that wants him to be the breadwinner either. I would be happy if we made within the same type of salary band.
I *dont* think I could be a professional in the corporate world making almost 6 figures and live with an artist spouse or someone who makes a significant amount less than me. I don't think I would be happy with that situation. To me I want to have to be with a person that shares the same kind of goals, lifestyle desires, etc. Not to say the artist doesn't but I am also the type that I would never defer to an art career unless I was making a solid income-- so it is the difference between left brain/ right brain type of folks probably more honestly than anything financial.
I (24 year old guy) am not married, but I have no idea why this would be a big deal.
It is 2010, not 1950. As long as the couple's collective income is enough to live on and both people are proud of what each of them does for a living, who cares?
I wish my wife made more money than me. She does make good money however. I reguarly tease her about taking a pay cut when her salary starts creaping towards mine But I woulnd't care if she surpassed me. She certainly works harder! I do feel bad that she has to work. It does bother me that she can't be a stay at home mom. But she is too good at spending both of our salaries!
My lady happens to make more than me but then she's been in her particular career longer than I have in my own. While I don't think I would want to be a "househusband" for the long-term, as long as I feel like I'm making a decent financial contribution to the household then I feel okay.
I dont think the feeling of emasuclation is an excuse-- it is just how some guys feel.
Sounds like maybe you rubbed it in or brought it up so much it started to bother him. Just the way you say it, and then state that it bothers you that you would make so much more than him.
My wife makes 60k+ more than me. As I have not found a job since I graduated college and the few freelance project I've done haven't netted much income.
That said, when I DO get a job it will be entry level and probably 30-35k a year, so she will still make more than me. She has been nothing but supportive and doesn't nag me about making less, or treat me or my spending as lesser than hers. I don't imagine it will change when I'm working and making less.
Last edited by Biermensch; 05-20-2010 at 09:18 PM..
Personally I wouldn't care, more money is more money regardless of who brings in the most, I would just look at the total amount, not who makes more per day, per week, per month,etc.
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But I woulnd't care if she surpassed me. She certainly works harder! I do feel bad that she has to work. It does bother me that she can't be a stay at home mom. But she is too good at spending both of our salaries!
