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Old 01-13-2011, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Macao
16,265 posts, read 43,022,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas R. View Post
Likewise in the US plenty of people have close friends and/or family. We are something of a "lonely people" full of broken families, but even now I think the majority of kids are still raised by two-married parents.
I think when people talk about families being stronger overseas...it's more than just having two parents around.

In many other countries around the world, it's common for the entire extended family to live together. On top of that, you have uncles and aunts and cousins all over the place nearby as well. So, if the two parents go to work, you literally have dozens of other family members around at all times.

In the States, there are all kinds of exceptions, but one thing you'll consistently see is nuclear families at the most, and broken single-parent households as well. Sometimes they live near their parents, but often they don't. So, it's kind of 'yeah, there are family members in the States', but not ever in the 'tons of extended family all over the place just outside the front door or even in the same house' sense.

(Thinking of many parts of Asia and Latin America in particular).
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Old 01-14-2011, 12:29 AM
 
Location: 30-40°N 90-100°W
13,809 posts, read 26,479,472 times
Reputation: 6783
That's a good point. My parents, two of my five siblings, two Aunts, and at least one Uncle live in the same county as I. So to me that's plenty of family, but it's true it's not the same as the uncles or aunts or grandparents living in your house or right next door.
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Old 01-14-2011, 03:43 AM
 
5,802 posts, read 11,836,998 times
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Default A whole lot of counter/half truths

I can walk down the street in the summer with a cold beer and enjoy sitting in the park chilling without being cited for drinking in public. I have never seen the aggressive, rude drunk a-hole behavior involving alcohol that I saw in the US (not saying it doesn't happen, just I have not seen it).
With the exception of Germany (haha) you don't get this feeling that you have nosy busybody tattle-tail neighbors who are going to hide in their house and call the police if anyone is having fun.
On Christmas Eve here, there was a loud impromptu PARADE (of locals/my neighbors who were sitting outside celebrating) with horns, drums, dancing haha they were even burning cardboard boxes in the street to make a bonfire....no cops came and told us to stop, to shut up. And there were cops passing by too! No neighbors complained...cars that the parade was blocking, they didn't flip the bird or honk angrily, they clapped and shouted and were HAPPY to see the parade. This just would not happen in the US.
This whole culture of 'the law' cracking down on social pleasures and freedoms just doesn't exist (yet...).
I dunno....the whole control/sanitization/make everything SAFE trend that is happening in the US really stands out when you live abroad. It is happening too though in Europe, unfortunately.
Uck, and car culture too. So many things.
Prudery. Shock about sex. Shame about bodies. And on and on.
Anyhow, just my experiences. I won't go back to live in the US unless there is a major major change.
I think the commononly-heard phrase that I used to hear in the US that sums all of 'lack of social life' thing up is "That's a bad neighborhood, all those people hanging out on the street!"[/quote]

I see you're the modern Homo Festivus : Homo Sapiens is dead, long live the Party Man : it's sooooo fun to dance around all nite with a beer in the hand burning cardboard boxes or playing the Jackass and annoying the "stupid old farts" who maybe try to have a sleep because they need to wake up the next morning to go to work...go to work...what a weird idea! so outdated! only an alienated US citizen could think that one has to work to earn a living! NOT

Oh! and you don't like sanitization! let's go back to the good old times where people didn't wash, it was so fun! NOT

"Prudery" : are you speaking about the US here, or about Saudi Arabia?
"schock about sex" : oh yes , everybody knows that people in Europe are making it in the street in front of everyone : NOT

Just another case of "the grass is greener"....
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Old 01-14-2011, 04:38 AM
 
13,498 posts, read 18,114,387 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
I think when people talk about families being stronger overseas...it's more than just having two parents around.

In many other countries around the world, it's common for the entire extended family to live together. On top of that, you have uncles and aunts and cousins all over the place nearby as well. So, if the two parents go to work, you literally have dozens of other family members around at all times.

In the States, there are all kinds of exceptions, but one thing you'll consistently see is nuclear families at the most, and broken single-parent households as well. Sometimes they live near their parents, but often they don't. So, it's kind of 'yeah, there are family members in the States', but not ever in the 'tons of extended family all over the place just outside the front door or even in the same house' sense.

(Thinking of many parts of Asia and Latin America in particular).
I live in southern Europe, and the presence of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents in the same community is common. The nuclear family and family celebrations that routinely involve only the nuclear family and a couple of stray relatives are considered something characteristic of foreigners.

The extended family is very much alive and well here, and is still the dominant family form. I find it interesting that althought this is a conservative society in most cases blood ties trump almost all other considerations such as divorce, homosexuality, single parents, unmarried parents. And something else, which I rarely saw in the U.S., is that if divorced parents remarry and have children with their new spouses, they are readily integrated with the children by the previous marriage.

Religion here plays only a small role in society, in large measure due to the fact it was a happy collaborator with fascism. Divorce, marriage for gay people, and the legal recognition of consensual unions as equivalent to traditional marriage have been accepted with - to me - surprisingly little opposition.

Despite having accepted all the "horrors" that American conservatives say would destroy the family, the extended family goes on being a major influence in community life to a degree unknown in the U.S.

Having seen what I have living here, I have become convinced that many of the controversies over "social issues" in the U.S. are bogus.
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Old 01-14-2011, 06:08 AM
 
5,802 posts, read 11,836,998 times
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The southern French are very conservative.
Tea partiers are not worse.
These village and small town people spend their time gossiping and
watching behind closed curtains what neighbours do.
To be a single man ("are you gay"? "pedophile"?) or a single mother (not remarried) is very much frowned upon.
Now they like from time to time to banquet with friends and relatives. How wonderful!
how extraordinary! don't tell me it doesn't happen in the US!
As a US tourist, I think you see only the positive side of the coin.
I'm French, I live there, so I guess I see better the whole picture, and it's not half so rosy as you imagine.
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Old 01-14-2011, 04:52 PM
 
739 posts, read 1,843,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
quote: "That's the other difficult part of going back to the States - a seriously broken healthcare system."


For those who have good health insurance, it's not broken at all. The best comes through a major employer.

I know a man who had major surgery that cost $150,000. Cost to him- nothing- it was paid for.
The key is having a 'major employer'. Not everyone has that. Even with a major employer, our out-of-pocket was still a few grand per year. Now that my spouse is retired, he's on Medicaid and I'm on a state-subsidized plan which costs us almost $800 per month with a deductible of $1500. No dental or vision is included in that.
If you have money in the US you'll have great care. Without it, you'll have bankruptcy and good care. So, don't get sick.
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Old 01-14-2011, 05:10 PM
 
739 posts, read 1,843,117 times
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My DH is a Brit so we have several options about where to go if we decide to leave the US. We are seriously considering France for a year, or two, or... ???

The medical coverage in this country is killing us financially. I'm 56 and when I can get Medicare in 65, we'll have spent nine years paying out $800 a month for me. That is $108,000, excluding the deductible which would be another $13,500. That's assuming the monthly doesn't change. It was $500 a month four years ago and I have no reason to think it will hold steady at $800/month.

We also are beginning to think this country has just gone crazy. There are 90 guns per 100 people in the US. Whenever the suggestion is made that we strengthen our gun control laws, it erupts into a Tower of Babel of absolutely no resolutions. So, we continue to shoot each other.

I love my country but have been very disenchanted over the last decade or so. Next year at this time we hope to have our house on the market and looking for a rental in France.
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Old 01-15-2011, 05:56 PM
 
9,327 posts, read 21,959,411 times
Reputation: 4571
When I lived in Australia I did not miss the US. I missed certain things about living in the US (e.g., good Mexican food, real NY bagels)

When I lived in Canada, I wanted to move back to the US.. winters too cold. But I loved the Canadian way of live.
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Old 01-16-2011, 12:18 AM
 
1,292 posts, read 4,692,773 times
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It would be nice if everyone actually posted names to the other countries they're talking about..
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Old 01-16-2011, 07:46 AM
 
Location: in the southwest
13,396 posts, read 44,922,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
That's the other issue I struggle with when I go back to the U.S. So much processed foods and so few fresh foods. You really have to go out of your way to find fresh foods, and pay highly for it.

My wife who is grew up in Asia, was shocked by it. Most people microwave frozen vegetables they buy in a supermarket. It isn't like Asia, or most anywhere else in the world, where the farmers are selling fresh produce pretty much everywhere, and where most restaurant food is equally fresh.

I mean, fresh foods are certainly found IN the U.S., and Americans who have never traveled anywhere, will quickly start an argument on this with me. But anyone who has spent time in almost any other country in the world, will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Tiger, I *have* traveled a bit, and I have to say I have no trouble at all purchasing fresh food/produce here in the US.
The declaration "Most people microwave frozen vegetables they buy in a supermarket" is IMHO an exaggeration. But I have no intention of starting an argument--just calling it as I personally have seen it over the years, and see it now.

Prices are indeed going up--and not my paycheck!
But shrimp fresh from the boat is $5 a pound, and produce is cheaper at the farmer's market (plus you can grow your own, which we have always done).
I do have some trouble with finding a restaurant that serves truly fresh veggies that are up to my standards, but then I live in a town of 12,000 people.

As to the OP's question, it's been many years since I lived overseas, and I was never gone that long. I never missed the US, and my kid has been gone 3 years (France) and shows no homesickness whatsoever.

I agree with the complaints about medical coverage in the USA.
I'm scared to get sick, and I am not getting any younger.
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