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Unread 03-07-2012, 06:26 AM
 
15,914 posts, read 7,677,704 times
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I have never noticed that whole dating circus known from the US in countries such as Germany. I don't even know a German word for dating, that whole formal aspect seems to be missing in many other countries. You may get to know and like someone and thus meet. But it doesn't mean anything, so asking "are you dating/seeing anyone?" makes no sense. That entire active approach behind dating as in trying to get to know potential spouses seems to be missing with most people in countries like Germany. I guess people there just don't think in phases the way Americans do.
Once two people happen to become a couple, they are in a relationship.

At least that is my impression.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Germany
532 posts, read 431,561 times
Reputation: 637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
I have never noticed that whole dating circus known from the US in countries such as Germany. I don't even know a German word for dating, that whole formal aspect seems to be missing in many other countries. You may get to know and like someone and thus meet. But it doesn't mean anything, so asking "are you dating/seeing anyone?" makes no sense. That entire active approach behind dating as in trying to get to know potential spouses seems to be missing with most people in countries like Germany. I guess people there just don't think in phases the way Americans do.
Once two people happen to become a couple, they are in a relationship.

At least that is my impression.
Not just your impression. I completely agree with you here.

I believe that dating and its "culture" is completely an American thing which however is exported to the world via television and cinema.

Unfortunately some German TV presenters and other media people are frequently using the verb daten (to date) and many young people copy them.

This is, in my opinion, part of (voluntary) americanisation of Germany, which includes other "new traditions" such as bachelor parties to the expense of German traditions. Previously before a wedding, people celebrated the Polterabend (both spouses together with family, relatives and friends), but now it's the unisex bachelor party as seen in so (too) many Hollywood movies. Sorry about me getting a bit off-topic.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Flanders, Belgium
264 posts, read 378,543 times
Reputation: 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
I have never noticed that whole dating circus known from the US in countries such as Germany. I don't even know a German word for dating, that whole formal aspect seems to be missing in many other countries. You may get to know and like someone and thus meet. But it doesn't mean anything, so asking "are you dating/seeing anyone?" makes no sense. That entire active approach behind dating as in trying to get to know potential spouses seems to be missing with most people in countries like Germany. I guess people there just don't think in phases the way Americans do.
Once two people happen to become a couple, they are in a relationship.

At least that is my impression.
There is no dutch word for dating either. We don't know that in Flanders. Meeting the opposite sex happens informal, on parties, on the street, friends from friends etc.
"Are you dating someone?" That question doesn't mean anything here too.

Last edited by 2360039; 03-07-2012 at 07:22 AM.. Reason: language
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Unread 03-07-2012, 07:24 AM
 
15,914 posts, read 7,677,704 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geggo View Post
Not just your impression. I completely agree with you here.

I believe that dating and its "culture" is completely an American thing which however is exported to the world via television and cinema.

Unfortunately some German TV presenters and other media people are frequently using the verb daten (to date) and many young people copy them.

This is, in my opinion, part of (voluntary) americanisation of Germany, which includes other "new traditions" such as bachelor parties to the expense of German traditions. Previously before a wedding, people celebrated the Polterabend (both spouses together with family, relatives and friends), but now it's the unisex bachelor party as seen in so (too) many Hollywood movies. Sorry about me getting a bit off-topic.
Daten in German? Wow, that hurts I haven't been to Germany in many years, so that is new to me.
I actually like the more relaxed German way. Dating increases people's expectations, which can lead to stress and pressure. That's definitely not what I want and need when getting to know someone.
And it also makes it more difficult to stop a potential relationship when you discover it doesn't feel right.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 08:37 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,694 posts, read 15,396,441 times
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To me 'dating' just implies the first few meetings when you get to know somebody. After that things just happen naturally. It's weird to say I'm dating my gf/bf for a year now.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 09:14 AM
 
15,914 posts, read 7,677,704 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
To me 'dating' just implies the first few meetings when you get to know somebody. After that things just happen naturally. It's weird to say I'm dating my gf/bf for a year now.
I guess in such situations we just say specifically we are doing, e.g. we are going to the movies or whatever

There are odd terms surrounding dating, for instance dating scene or dating material That's one reason why I have always thought little of the term dating and what it stands for.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Toronto
3,339 posts, read 2,368,861 times
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Am I the only person who thinks of this kind of image when "dating" is mentioned? -- It's like the 1950s thing, if you're a guy, you take the girl to go to the ice cream parlour and share a banana split, with the jukebox music playing and all that, or you two go over to watch a drive-through movie.

Sometimes you two just sit in the parked car somewhere, near a cliff overlooking the city, chat about stuff or look at the stars and make love at night, you don't tell your family or anything.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Toronto
3,339 posts, read 2,368,861 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
It's weird to say I'm dating my gf/bf for a year now.
That doesn't sound too "weird" to me -- though maybe I hear "I've been going out with" or "we've been together" etc. more if it's that long.

Probably it's odd because by one year is too long to be seen as dating so you're described as "being together for a year" or something instead that expresses more commitment?

Then again, it all depends on the nature of the relationship. Maybe "dating for a year" could sound like an on-and-off kind of thing.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 09:38 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,694 posts, read 15,396,441 times
Reputation: 11862
I hear it in movies etc and stuff...I do hear 'we've gone going out for a year now'. I kind of prefer saying 'we've been together for a year.'

No I don't specifically think of the 1950s when I think of dating lol.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
37,373 posts, read 31,711,325 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PosterExtraordinaire View Post

Can anyone guess where my father is from?
I think most of what you described could apply, to some degree or other, in West Africa's Sahel.
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