U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > World Forums > World
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:36 AM
 
4,096 posts, read 1,936,255 times
Reputation: 5096
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
You might try Africa or Somalia if you don't like it here, surely there must be someplace where people would leave you alone. Iceland is another place that comes to mind, cost of living is probably cheap also if you like fish and things of that nature. In the meantime, re-read post #9, Rakin pretty much hit the nail on the head when he said 'you create your own problems'.
Read my post. #16
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: nj
1,394 posts, read 731,165 times
Reputation: 1390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
In the meantime, re-read post #9, Rakin pretty much hit the nail on the head when he said 'you create your own problems'.
I answered Rakin. I appreciate where he/she is coming from but that we create our own problems is not always the case. Obviously, the suggestion that I am, in effect, saying to myself "I am in this place and I'm going to create a problem by wanting to be someplace else" makes sense if that's what I was doing.

But I think I have a lot of experience in making myself content without complaint and what seems to be happening is the kind of ties this culture generates are so invasive and overpowering one can't even summon the kind of contentment and introspection one needs to be content in a culture where you're not happy.

They say in order to be content show kindness, show patience and it will be returned.

A little experimentation with that idea will show you it doesn't always get you contentment and it doesn't always get returned because, in some cultures, it isn't returned, neither in polite indifference or kindness, but it's taken advantage of and used.

This is a dilemma many Buddhists run into and that doesn't mean their philosophy for dealing with it is always wrong. It just means it is not complete. There is wisdom to be found in running away from a disturbance if you look for it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:43 AM
 
Location: California
2,776 posts, read 1,925,794 times
Reputation: 4928
You don't want to work at finding peace of mind where you are, but how much time have you spent in Japan? Chances are you will bring your own problems with you unless you resolve them where you are. Perhaps just moving to another state first might work so you don't find yourself in a different country with no way home again. As far as I know, social competitition is what drives the world so you won't be able to escape that. In CA we have all types of gange troublemakers, including asian gangs which is part of the culture they bring here.

No one else is responsible for your own happiness, so it doesn't matter what happens to you, only how you respond to it. Don't fear competition but do compete with yourself to be better everyday.

You have reminded me of the Desiderata:

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:50 AM
 
4,096 posts, read 1,936,255 times
Reputation: 5096
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
You don't want to work at finding peace of mind where you are, but how much time have you spent in Japan? Chances are you will bring your own problems with you unless you resolve them where you are. Perhaps just moving to another state first might work so you don't find yourself in a different country with no way home again. As far as I know, social competitition is what drives the world so you won't be able to escape that. In CA we have all types of gange troublemakers, including asian gangs which is part of the culture they bring here.

No one else is responsible for your own happiness, so it doesn't matter what happens to you, only how you respond to it. Don't fear competition but do compete with yourself to be better everyday.

You have reminded me of the Desiderata:

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...
Again read post #16. If someone doesn't fit in one place then they should go somewhere where they do fit in. The culture of the place will not change for that individual and that's fine but the person has the freedom to go wherever they please and can afford.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: California
2,776 posts, read 1,925,794 times
Reputation: 4928
Yes, this a public forum and others have the freedom to post also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,667 posts, read 2,223,719 times
Reputation: 2920
I wish I knew the answers as I'd consider moving to such a place myself. I am contemplating moving to one of the Nordic countries someday. I think that in general, Anglosphere cultures are not for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 11:27 AM
 
1,716 posts, read 2,000,743 times
Reputation: 1872
NJ has alot of hostile and thuggish people. I would try moving to maybe the Midwest or South for more passive mindsets. People are more into sticking to their own and being polite but distant. Not alot of in-your-face aggression (especally since CCW laws are more lax, you might F with the wrong person). Exceptions to this would be Chicago, Detriot and Florida (stay away).

West is not quite as good, less people, but alot of roughnecks and "macho men" who might like to start something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 11:27 AM
 
Location: nj
1,394 posts, read 731,165 times
Reputation: 1390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
You don't want to work at finding peace of mind where you are, but how much time have you spent in Japan? Chances are you will bring your own problems with you unless you resolve them where you are. Perhaps just moving to another state first might work so you don't find yourself in a different country with no way home again. As far as I know, social competitition is what drives the world so you won't be able to escape that. In CA we have all types of gange troublemakers, including asian gangs which is part of the culture they bring here.

No one else is responsible for your own happiness, so it doesn't matter what happens to you, only how you respond to it. Don't fear competition but do compete with yourself to be better everyday.

You have reminded me of the Desiderata:

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...
Heidi,

I actually am moving to another state first. So maybe I am on the right track?

Thank you for sharing the exert from Desiderata, Heidi. I went and read the full text. There is much there to contemplate. I needed that. Thank you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 11:28 AM
 
Location: IL
2,061 posts, read 1,903,372 times
Reputation: 1512
Before your move, think about the following.

Maybe get involved in Buddhism, or if you are, get more involved. You have referenced this twice, so it appears you have an affinity towards that. There are Buddhist areas in the US you could also try, and may not be as difficult to stick around.

Are you already fluent in Japanese or have you spent significant time there? If not, maybe a short term visit (few monhs) may be helpful in understanding. One thing I have found when gaining understanding of various cultures, I have a much more positive view of the country until I understand enough to watch daily news or read newspapers, then things get messy. People are messy.

I personally don't care what your choice is , as I don't know you, but there may be things to think about or do that may help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-24-2012, 11:29 AM
 
Location: nj
1,394 posts, read 731,165 times
Reputation: 1390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shizzles View Post
NJ has alot of hostile and thuggish people. I would try moving to maybe the Midwest or South for more passive mindsets. People are more into sticking to their own and being polite but distant. Not alot of in-your-face aggression (especally since CCW laws are more lax, you might F with the wrong person). Exceptions to this would be Chicago, Detriot and Florida (stay away).

West is not quite as good, less people, but alot of roughnecks and "macho men" who might like to start something.
I sometimes forget I'm in NJ. Maybe my whole perspective is skewed because of it. Maybe there are other states that are really cool and down-to-earth?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > World Forums > World

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top