Japanese privacy (houses, college, living in)

[Carol F.]

Hello. I'm Brazillian and I'm hosting a Japanese friend. I met her in Japan and now she's in a college exchange program and staying in my house. She is a great person, I have no complains about her except for one thing. She brought a laptop but it doesn't work with my router, God knows why. On the first days she asked to use my computer and I said that it was ok (and it was really ok). After a week or two she stoped asking and I found out that she would stay the entire morning, sometimes almost the whole day,using my computer, which stays inside my bedroom, to chat online, whitout saying anything. I found the situation so awkward that after one week thinking about it I put a password on the computer and waited for her to say anything. Then I had to tell her I didn't feel confortable with someone inside my bedroom using my computer all the time, without my knowledge. And just for you to know, she can use computers in college, at lanhouses aroud here and a lot of places with wireless broadband really close to here.
Well, I told this long history to make a question to Japanese people and Japanese descendents everywhere: Is it socially acceptable to do this kind of thing in Japan? Would geting into other people's bedroom without the person being there be a break of social conventions in Japan? Is this matter of privacy different than here in Brazil, or the Western World?

[Mar0]

The Japanese are VERY polite, almost to the point where it is irritating. This is especially true in the case of host/hostess, so I am very surprised by the situation. Maybe she is just very homesick????

[GilaMonster]

I have had the same experience with a German exchange student: she hijacked my computer exactly the same way.

I have the feeling it is less an issue of where people are from, but an issue of that generation's pretty easygoing attitude in life. That seems to be a worldwide phenomenon. In Germany the older generation would consider her behavior rude. But younger people seem to think it is OK. "Hey, you offered me to do it once, so what's the big deal if I do it every day?"

[Mehrnaz]

I've been living in Japan since 2001. There is not any privacy for foreigners in Japanese culture but there is a lot of it for Japanese.

I just want to say that Japanese are not polite to foreigners. They don't like them and acually enjoy hearting them. My question is that why do you think that Japanese can be friends? Why do you have a Japanese friend? Why do you, at all, let them in your house? Why do you trust them? NEVER TRUST THEM. Just know if you visit Japan, the same friend who stayed at your house, never let you in her/his house in Japan! even after 30 years friendship. They have a very small heart and are untrustable.
I wish I could tell you more but this is enough. You'll experience more by yourself if you stay in touch with your Japanese friend.

GOOOOOOD LUCK

[Nelly Nomad]

Originally Posted by Mehrnaz

I've been living in Japan since 2001. There is not any privacy for foreigners in Japanese culture but there is a lot of it for Japanese.

I just want to say that Japanese are not polite to foreigners. They don't like them and acually enjoy hearting them. My question is that why do you think that Japanese can be friends? Why do you have a Japanese friend? Why do you, at all, let them in your house? Why do you trust them? NEVER TRUST THEM. Just know if you visit Japan, the same friend who stayed at your house, never let you in her/his house in Japan! even after 30 years friendship. They have a very small heart and are untrustable.
I wish I could tell you more but this is enough. You'll experience more by yourself if you stay in touch with your Japanese friend.

GOOOOOOD LUCK

I'm hoping this is just a really, really, really bad attempt at sarcasm...

[Tiger Beer]

She's probably a bit of an internet addict.

[njmike]

This seems to be very rude behavior on the guest's part.

[BillyC64]

Go to your nearest computer supply and find the correct router for both systems to use. This should be affordable and it would solve your problem........or just draw back and pop her upside the head and say " beat it dufuss".

[texdav]

My nephew worked there for a join venture company for about a month, He said the way they treat their employees reminded him of the army recruit training.One example he gave was a female engineer that he and a japanese excutive interviewed. She said she was brillant and after the interview he was in favor of hiring her. But the excutive said definely no becuase she had work for toyota and quit. She had explained that they gave her very Nonchallenging task. But he said she was disloyal for quiting ;so hiring her was out.He said they were very polite but even upper management acted like recruits in the presents of their drill instructor around the top excutive.He found it very unconfortable.

[BillyC64]

I miss the connection texdav is making.