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It's so inspiring to read your frank comments on such a sensitive topic. Openness is one component to better understanding of human frailties.
I know that you are serious when you said you were being stared at. But I could not help feeling tickled, the onlookers must be thinking "what's that rich white guy doing in my neck of the woods'. LOL
I was politely stared at too in Korea, China and Japan, not because of my skin color, rather my high end cameras. Read somewhere that if a foreigner is killed by a Chinese, the killer will get a mandatory death sentence. My guess is the laws are just as onerous in Korea and Japan. So being stared is alright then so long as no harm comes to me.
However, imho social disparity and financially underpriviledged can lead to discrimination or racism depending on the situation. As an example, my family and I often get invited to my dad's friend exclusive H........ Country Club, but the latter coudn't tolerate his son's common-law wife from poor family, and the latter treated her with coldness and less than respectful. It sickens me to have to witness that and there is nothing I can do.
I have travelled extensively both within europe and outside, sweden and germany were the only places I felt that I fitted in. France, Italy, Spain, Greece ect I did get some hassle/stares and comments. Asia, the middle east and africa were very bad for it but obviously thats just to be expected, its mainly harmless curiosity especially if your any way off the beaten track. In new york I also got a fair amount of hassle but I think that was just because i was staying with friends in a mainly columbian neighbourhood, where I was a foot taller than all the men in the neighbourhood haha. But yeah, im sure I wouldnt have any issues in any scandinavian countries. just from my experience anywhere I have been that i dont look local, you get alot more hassle, but its also combined with people going more out of there way to help you, so it has its positives aswel!
You're tall and a good looker no wonder heads turn.
The stares become more obvious in certain parts of the world, where it is almost impossible to find one like you locally. So take it as a compliment.
Honestly, we all like to look at tall and good looking men and women.
Being caucasians, you do have the physical attributes.
I have travelled extensively both within europe and outside, sweden and germany were the only places I felt that I fitted in. France, Italy, Spain, Greece ect I did get some hassle/stares and comments. Asia, the middle east and africa were very bad for it but obviously thats just to be expected, its mainly harmless curiosity especially if your any way off the beaten track. In new york I also got a fair amount of hassle but I think that was just because i was staying with friends in a mainly columbian neighbourhood, where I was a foot taller than all the men in the neighbourhood haha. But yeah, im sure I wouldnt have any issues in any scandinavian countries. just from my experience anywhere I have been that i dont look local, you get alot more hassle, but its also combined with people going more out of there way to help you, so it has its positives aswel!
That's cause the countries you named ..France, Italy, Spain, Greece .. are of romanic and southern european origin therefore not countries where blonde people are that common like germanic speaking countries such as scandinavia, holland or germany.. or slavic nations such as baltic states, belarus, poland , russia. And also you have to think that people from warmer nations tend to be more flirty than northerners.
I got some "he's a nice looking guy" stares in many places, and I admit to being at least somewhat good looking. But I got different looks in Japan.
One of them, from the women, was typically one or a mix of the following: a) curiosity, b) attraction, c) nervousness.
From the men, I got looks of curiosity, nervousness, and a couple evil stares (because my wife is Japanese, and that's a sensitive topic both in the USA and there, something about 8:1 white male / asian female pairings over the opposite).
Japan is a hugely homogenous culture and society. Thus someone who is blonde with blue eyes will stand out. I went to Kyoto studios and saw a cool sword fight and of course, who do they go to when they look for audience involvement? The foreigner, of course, because he will catch the eye much more quickly. Same can be said in the USA in the more rural areas, or in any area of an ethnic enclave. Like, most people in the area I was growing up in Chicago were Irish, Polish, or a mix of the two with a smattering of others. Some blacks were around too but it was pretty homogenous, and we would stare at asians or indians who came into the neighborhood because we were curious. I never really got acquainted with any until college.
No offense taken, I assumed you were speaking for the United States, but in the "world" forum I wanted to give a general reminder that regions outside of North America and Europe may be quite different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lentzr
I would just like to hear thoughts from people about what it was like to stand out from the rest of the population and even get stared at....
...What is everyone else's experiences with this issue? Where were you when you stood out and did you attract much attention?
My wife and I are a mixed-race couple from two different countries.
Standing out from the population and getting stared at is a fact of life in some areas for some ethnicities. What's it like? Not really a big deal once you are used to it. We've lived in and visited regions where we stick out like sore thumbs. When a crowd of curious children shout "hello" in your language or theirs, it's gratifying, when they follow you, it's funny, when they throw rocks, it's annoying. When they beg for money or food, it's sad.
My biggest pet peeve are those who think western looks = stupidity and try to overcharge or scam me. My second biggest peeve is being ignored or told they "don't know that place" by taxi drivers because they don't want to pick up a westerner. Yes, it does happen and it is frustrating after the 20th time.
Of course, my problem is really with other people who look like me who are stupid and overpay or tip or generally don't learn the local customs and act like stupid clods. In areas where expats and tourists are sparse (or sensitive to the local culture) I've noticed that that the worst problems of sticking out disappear.
What I mean is that white people are more inclined to welcome someone of a different culture into our circle but it is more rare that you see another race or ethnicity welcome a white person in theirs. This is basically reverse discrimination. Not that I really care either way but I am sick of listening to people all over the media and some people on these boards that racism can go only in one direction. When you conclude that racism can only go in one direction, then you are indirectly saying that all other races are inferior to the white race. This is really deeper than I wanted to go but that is the gist of it.
I have a slightly different experience. This is what I have normally seen. I would see situations where there could be one white person in a place that is mainly black. I never hear any complaints from that person. On the other hand, I see situations where there are white people who feel uncomfortable being the only white person there. I have seen it with blacks too.
right now, i feel very sorry that "standing out" in this day and age could be managed to become a racial isssue (only). or some other discrimination instead of appreciation.
or at least the pleasure of arriving at an appropriate and adequate evaluation.
Anyone who thinks that there isn't racism in "this day and age" is deluding themselves. I'm a Gen-X'er or maybe Y-er and I'm racist. I'm even racist against my spouse's people.
The key to managing racism is to admit it and deal with it. We're all human and predisposed toward certain ways of acting. Racism, or fear of others who look different, is a part of our nature. Fortunately, God gave us brains that let us adapt faster to changing circumstances than evolution would normally decree. Using your brain to override instinctive racism is a survival mechanism (and makes you a better person/neighbor) in today's world.
Then again, there's *******s like Pat Buchannen who use their brain to justify, deny, and/or rationalize their racism. But that's an evolutionary dead-end if you follow his sort of logic to it's supposedly-rational conclusion. Still, you see plenty of sheep on this forum and elsewhere advocating his segregationist worldview as if it were still a real possibility on a planet headed for a population of 10 billion.
Anyone who thinks that there isn't racism in "this day and age" is deluding themselves. I'm a Gen-X'er or maybe Y-er and I'm racist. I'm even racist against my spouse's people.
The key to managing racism is to admit it and deal with it. We're all human and predisposed toward certain ways of acting. Racism, or fear of others who look different, is a part of our nature. Fortunately, God gave us brains that let us adapt faster to changing circumstances than evolution would normally decree. Using your brain to override instinctive racism is a survival mechanism (and makes you a better person/neighbor) in today's world.
Then again, there's *******s like Pat Buchannen who use their brain to justify, deny, and/or rationalize their racism. But that's an evolutionary dead-end if you follow his sort of logic to it's supposedly-rational conclusion. Still, you see plenty of sheep on this forum and elsewhere advocating his segregationist worldview as if it were still a real possibility on a planet headed for a population of 10 billion.
i sure know what you mean.
you can find yourself in day-before-yesterday sooner than your wishful thinking might ever allow for.
thanks for sharing, and the reminder to remain humble, at least.
Last edited by effie g-tad; 07-13-2009 at 06:13 AM..
Reason: you got no chance, so use it! <thundering silence>
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no wonder heads turn.
