Open and Reserved People

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by pigeonhole

@ tvdxer : I'm going to stay for a few weeks next spring in the PNW (Seattle-Portland), can you tell me if people are warm or not there? I'm eager to know!

hey people refer to seattle phenomena as the seattle freeze-and say it's hard to penetrate already formed social circles.
people in CA are friendly/open,but not deep with conversation. And urban people are usually busy everywhere,so they may not be closed,but busy.
And in NE,folks are friendly but reserved. It takes more time to get to know them. I would not say NE folks are 'adolescent' or 'gushing',as one poster put it,at all!!!!! I mean,really. Have you been to MA or NH or VT? Maine? Hardly gushers!!!! lol

Folks in MT and CO where i've lived multiple years each are friendly enough,but keep to themselves doing their own thing,mainly. If you strike up a conversation,they will chat,usually. BUt not supe rforthcomign with info. depends on the sphere of people/context,too.

This is kind of a silly thread. I have lived around the world,too,and there are degrees of friendiliness.
But mostly,what we might consider 'friendly',maybe culturally what is consider polite or etiquette somewhere else.

In the US,we may tell a total stranger about some personal detail of our lives,while standing in a parking lot,but we would not invite someone we didn't know to dinner,generally speaking. But in another country,it may be an honor or a privelege to do just this,or certainly just an accepted and expected custom. Rude not to. In the US,one usually brings something to a hosts's house;in other places i've visited,it would be rude,as though you were telling the host they could not accomodate you.
However,I do think americans are generally generous of spirit and helpful. We just don't usually notice who needs that helping hand. Ask us,and we're there in a heartbeat. Wait for us to offer or notice,and,well,you might be waiting awhile....

there is subjective defintion/paradigm at work here,and no way to weed out this variable when discussing it,i think.
Same with britts thinkign americans are too open.
I think britts should take the plug out of their butts most of the time.
just kidding-love me some english humor,anyway. And there i go with my abrasive american type of vulgar joking!
Better get me to an Aussie,quick. They understand our kind!!!!

[bluebeard]

I think a place as big and diverse as the US makes it especially difficult to generalize, although even smaller countries can be difficult to generalize to some extent.
Also, "friendliness" and "openness" is totally relative anyway. To some friendly and reserved are opposites, to others they are separate traits. Many people wouldnt agree on the definition of these two words.
It also depends who you are within the culture you are living in or visiting. Many cultures do not act the same way towards everyone.

[bluebeard]

Originally Posted by tvdxer

That's interesting, because in my part of the country it's still considered rude to ask a stranger how much they earn. Normally it would take a lot longer than five minutes to get to the point where that question would be acceptable.

I think thats true with most American borns, regardless of region.
Also, I actually think its annoying, personally. The reason people dont want to mention how much they make, is because they buy into the argument that it means something about their status. Sometimes I just want to know about the prices or salaries I encounter, but its socially off limits. I dont judge people that way, its just a natural curiosity. And unless you think that the amount you make says something about your personal worth status, I dont think people would have a problem divulging that information. I try not to considerthose being offended by those questions to be a bit uptight, but rather just a cultural sensitivity.

[Papuja]

Also, Finns often think that making small talk, talking to a stranger while waiting in line, etc is fake. I don't think it is fake, but it's understood usually that you are not best friends now.

Definitely, if you make friends with a Finn, it'll be a sincere and lasting friendship.

[tvdxer]

I was just reminded of the word "standoffish" by a comment in this blog entry:

Swedish Etiquette - Stockholm Swedes are actually very rude | Stockholm Sucks

Perhaps "standoffish" is a better to word to use in this sense?

[LaDominadora]

Brazilians are very warm and friendly. There is no such thing as personal space there and I love it. Americans have too many friggin hangups while most Brazilians tend to live and let live. Of course some people who have lived in Brazil will tell you that there is a strong classism there but every country has it's own set of discriminatory behaviors.

I can't take cold reserved aloof societies. I like being around people who live life with passion and gusto. No anal stick-up-the-butt types for me. It's too much like being in a morgue. If you are into having your personal space then Latin America will definitely not work for you.

[Vic_Vega]

Originally Posted by Papuja

Also, Finns often think that making small talk, talking to a stranger while waiting in line, etc is fake. I don't think it is fake, but it's understood usually that you are not best friends now.

I totally agree with this, but this is mostly in the Helsinki/Uusimaa area in my opinion. I live in Seinäjoki, Finland and i think people here are much more open, friendlier, and like to talk no matter if they know you or not. Maybe it's just a small town thing. When i lived in Helsinki for 4,5 years and a year in Tuusula during my military service, i just hated it because people were "so busy", simply rude and arrogant.