bloopers, etc. (essay, money, words)

[Tia 914]

anybody have any good bloopers to contribute here?

there was a person who was upset about the way somebody treated someone else... I think he was grasping for the old-fashioned word "comeuppance" when he said "Just wait- she'll get her cornmuffins!!"

[bjh]

Can't think of one, but that's funny!

[AJsMOM83]

I have a friend whose mom calls potluck lunches crockpots, lol.
"I'm having a crockpot at work on Friday and I have to take dessert."

[Mightyqueen801]

I had an acquaintance who always tried to use big words but didn't really bother to find out what they meant. She was doing some housecleaning to make money and was telling me about all the exuberant houses where she was working. I think she was going for exorbitant.

Anyway, my daughter and I still have fun thinking about deliriously happy houses jumping up and down.

That same person once wrote me an email telling me that her area was having turrenchul rain.

[karuna95]

I like to read interesting snippets of the news to my husband as we sit at breakfast. Most of the time he just listens (or pretends to listen), without much comment. However, one day I made the mistake of reading the news to him as he was trying to work out some calculations by hand. He snapped at me in frustration, "Babe, can't you see I'm constipating?!"

My husband is very handy, and can fix anything. Unfortunately, he is also very busy, so broken things can stay broken for quite some time, because "why pay someone to do it incorrectly when I can do it for you babe, next week?" One day, as I approached him with yet another thing that needed repair, he sighed and said, "Babe, I'd love to fix that for you right now, but there's just no more room under my table!" I think he was trying to say, "My plate is full."

[CA4Now]

I just re-read a blooper I wrote: an exercise "regime" instead of "regimen." I guess I could have written "regiment." (And I didn't catch it until too late.)

[wannabee]

I knew someone who used to say...

"It's milk under the bridge" (said incorrectly on purpose) then we used to ROTFL about it.

[JustPassinThru]

In an essay on Louis XIV I wrote about his "coiffures" instead of his "coffers" that enabled him to finance his many wars, and it did not go unnoticed. Guess that I was temporarily hairbrained.

[Mightyqueen801]

I remember my mother yelling at my sister once for not looking for a job and just hanging around the house all day and then she added, "And you smoke like a fish!"

[MagnoliaThunder]

My dear mother-in-law, now deceased, had not a mean bone in her body, nor was she a racist...but she could really get her words mixed up...her most famous blooper, which she repeatedly said without ever really realizing her mistake, was when she told someone she was knitting an "african" (afghan)...bless her heart...still miss her...RIP Nanny.