Funny questions about Wyoming (Rawlins: houses, buy, schools)

[TEEPEEMAKER]

What do you do with cows when it rains? Do you bring them in to the barn? What about the horses?

What are those orange and white animals in the field. Referring to the antelope. Are they dogs?

Do you use outhouses? Some of us.

How do you survive living so far from Walmart? Love it, really cuts down on the people moving into town.

Do you have a lot of one room schoolhouses?

Can you drive in the winter? Yes, we have snowplows,and no they aren't drawn by horses.

Do the cowboys wear guns? Yep, so do a lot of us, due to badgers, rattlesnakes, and other assorted critters that are out there on the prairie.

Does the wind blow? I was speechless for that one.

[RockyMtnr]

My replies are in color:

Originally Posted by TEEPEEMAKER

What do you do with cows when it rains? Do you bring them in to the barn? What about the horses?
Rare is the barn in the Rocky Mtn region. Shortage of dairies as well - although that isn't all the weather's fault. Milk-Marking order had something to do with that years ago - driving many small dairies out of the family business.



What are those orange and white animals in the field. Referring to the antelope. Are they dogs?
They is not dogs. Not only that, they is not "Prong-horned" dogs ... they are, indeed, Pronghorn Antelope - and just a reminder to outsiders, horn is made of hair - has to be preserved rather than just kept on the wall to slowly decay. Try hanging a white towel on a stick in your backyard in Wyoming. You can count the Antelopys in the morning.

Do you use outhouses?
I dug me an outhouse in the Rocky Mountains once. Well, most of one anyhow. A disabled friend and mentor kept saying "Why d'ya think they call it the Rocky Mtns"? Take your few sticks of dynamite - it's gonna be a long day.

How do you survive living so far from Walmart?
Love 'em or Hate 'em ... mostly, hate 'em ... but it doesn't matter - they're there ... they're almost all there is ... you'll end up applying there one day ... or worse, get hired ... it'll be one of the best paying jobs you'll ever have in Wyoming. Having only a WalMart for Christmas, Birthday and Anniversary shopping is common in Wyoming - Sad ... but better than what came before!

Do you have a lot of one room schoolhouses?
To the contrary, the Rockies is a land where families buy whole houses to put their kids in during the winter months so they can attend school - elsewise, they'd often be stranded "out at the ranch". The schools will always have at least two rooms - ever since somebody taught them to build the outhouses inside!

Can you drive in the winter?
That's when most of the driving gets done. Kind of nice 'cause it drives the remaining tourists out and opens up the road.
Most Wyoming folks try and nurse their tires along til winter - when the snow and ice finally fill up the chuck-holes and pad the road, making it softer and also, allowing your bald tires to make it ... maybe ... to Spring! What good is tire-tread when it's full of ice anyway?

Do the cowboys wear guns?
You really won't see a lot of real "Cowboys" - they don't come into town very often. You'll see a lot of ranchers. Their gun is usually in their visible gun-rack inside the cab of their mud-covered pickup. It is not a "concealed" state. They don't need guns - they can kick your a** anytime they need to, if they really need to - and that includes the ladies!

Does the wind blow? :

It sucks every now and then.
Those big, giant, 100ft long kites you see on the west coast? They'd get torn to bits. Bring your 60-lb test kite-string and your car-hood - we'll try 'er out together!

[TEEPEEMAKER]

Excellent answers! You have lived in Wyoming!

[RockyMtnr]

Originally Posted by TEEPEEMAKER

Excellent answers! You have lived in Wyoming!

YeeeeHah T.P. YeeHah!
Pleasure to make your e-quaintance.
How's the world down yonder?
And how's the Regalia biz?
Peace

[molon labe]

Originally Posted by TEEPEEMAKER

What do you do with cows when it rains? Do you bring them in to the barn? What about the horses?

Our cows live in our house.... I don't know what planet you're from..... and what's rain?

What are those orange and white animals in the field. Are they dogs?

They're antelope..... Antelope are like dogs but better.... you can shoot them and not feel bad. When you get a big herd it's like bowling with your .308! YEEEHAA!

Do you use outhouses?

Outhouse.... Are you talking about Rawlins?

How do you survive living so far from Walmart?

What's a walmarnt? Can ya' shoot it?

Do you have a lot of one room schoolhouses?

We're all home-schooled until the 5th grade when we gradumate and head out into the town.

Can you drive in the winter? Yes, we have snowplows,and no they aren't drawn by horses.

Of course they're not drawn by horses... they're built from arrowheads we dig up and pushed by the cows.... when we let them out of the house that is.

Do the cowboys wear guns?

EVERYBODY wears guns in Wyoming. There are a lot of drunken gunfights.... blood is running in the street. We don't have those sophistomocated gun-control laws like CA and NY.

Does the wind blow?

Wind? I guess that makes sense.... I thought all those cow-tippers were moving on to better things and getting the fences and garbage cans too.

I tell everybody back in CA how miserable Wyoming is..... wouldn't want anybody to know what it's really like.... they might want to come here and ruin it.

[ElkHunter]

Now, we need to discuss cow tipping. I know that the Rockymtrn know's about cow tipping. It's an art. It takes a half pint and gonads. Simple as that.

[RockyMtnr]

Originally Posted by ElkHunter

Now, we need to discuss cow tipping. I know that the Rockymtrn know's about cow tipping. It's an art. It takes a half pint and gonads. Simple as that.

Okay - and thanks for the opening Mr. ElkHunter - it's actually a little easier than whale-tipping ... I just spent the whole night walking the ocean and couldn't find a mole!
The first thing you're gonna need to be a successful cow-tipper is a couple of cows that can truly keep a secret - these are your "inside-cows", your snitches (and it's a tad tuff 'cause in Wyoming we traditionally don't have snitches of any variety ... especially cows).
This is also tuff because cows like to talk. You'll want to be very confident that your "moles" aren't gonna get themselves dead overnight as nearly any cow out there knows how to make a deal with the wolves (no, they don't wear sheep's clothing). Oh, out here in the wooly-west, they don't have barns usually but they do like to gab on the way to the time-clock, on the way to the fields, on the way to the feed-bins ... and sometimes, they get so cranked-up on the food-additives that they don't even know what they're saying ... and this is where your inside-cows come into play - they simply hang around the additive-tank (which will usually be right where the rancher piles the winter hay) and listen for the yakking to begin. Of course, your inside-cows have to be discerning enough to know fact from fable - elsewise (or, is that "elsie-wise"?), you could get bad information and you don't want to be out there amidst half-ton and heavier beef-cattle wandering around with bad info.
That's your start - I'm sure some of our local Wyominganucks can start chiming in from here - there is certainly a lot to learn. And you've got to practice during the dry, dark nights to be able to pull off a "cow-tipping" episode on a snowy night ... snow lightens the night and you stand-out more in profile.
Now, just to keep the novice advised ... there is no such thing as "The Moofia". It's just a word somebody made up.

[ElkHunter]

Dad kicked my ass for tipping. He didn't think it was near as funny as we did.

[RockyMtnr]

This is why it's much better to learn as both, an adult - and a transplant. Plenty of folks like you that got caught as kids - but still know the finer arts of living in The Rockies. There are many that will take advantage of the newcomers and people like you are needed to give them honest training.
One word of warning I want to pass along - maybe you'll agree with this one Mr L.Kohnter - that just maybe, it would be best to stick to breeds of cattle other than Simental - which are about as large as a Junk-Yard Camel!

[chad Straight]

Those wooden structures along the hi Ways are : Well ya heard of Where the deer and the antelope play. Those wooden things are sun shades for the indians to sit under to watch the deer and antelope play!!